I am starting my own website writing related articles on confidence and self improvement. It is still in the beta phase now and I wanted to see what you guys thought! Enjoy!

There she is, the tall brunette standing just across the bar, looking this way. you make eye contact and you know you have 2 options: look down and carry on, or go and approach. You decide to make a move. You start walking over. Then, it happens: your heart starts pounding, your hands start sweating, your throat tightens up, your mind starts racing. What happens next? Do you fight through it, or walk on by, acting like you were actually walking that way just to use the bathroom after all?

Everyone in the world has struggled with this exact problem. They see someone, want to approach, even start to approach, then freeze. And it is almost always because of the same thought running through your head “what if I get shot down?” My friends just saw me walk up and talk with this girl, what happens if she shuts me down? what about the other people in the bar? Quite frankly, these are simple answers: your friends are NOT going to judge you for talking to someone that you’re attracted to. And other people in the bar are so worried about themselves and their own appearance that they dont have the time to worry about what you are doing!

This fear of rejection has hindered men and women alike from going after what they want. It makes sense, it isn’t fun to hear “no.” But, there is one great thing about this all too powerful word: with each no, you are one step closer to a yes. The important lesson to learn here is: You can’t hit a homerun if you don’t swing the bat. You have to go out and give yourself a chance! Enjoy the rush and swing away!

Back to the situation in the bar, you start walking over, your heart starts beating faster and faster. It is time! Yes, your heart may beat right out of its chest, but there is no going back now! enjoy the rush, hell, even tell her how she gave you such a rush (talk about a great compliment)! You’ll surprise yourself how well it goes when you are having a genuine conversation. Remember, people want to relate to each other. That’s just natural. This rush doesn’t last forever, so embrace it while you get it.

In order to truly end Approach Anxiety, there is a very important mindset to adapt: This will go really well, or will make for a very funny story. If you go into something looking for a specific outcome, people can smell it from a mile away. Wash off the stench of expectation and find out for yourself: are you two going to get along, or are you going to get to laugh about it?

Until next time, go out there and have some fun!