Can one read too much theory?

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-05-20T19:36:43+00:00

Well of course you can go astray with too much theory. You have to go out and use it, or at the minimum, know the theories so you can observe how it could apply to situations you get into.

There's an old saying, "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is."

The whole point of learning theory is to use it. If you do the same things you have always done, you will get the same results you always get. Theory helps you do things differently and evaluate how it gets you different results.

You say you are making excuses because you are busy. That is exactly the times you should approach. You have a busy exciting lifestyle, women can sense that when you approach. They are welcome to come along with you for some busy, exciting times, but it's not going to stop you from going about your awesome, exciting lifestyle if they don't come along.

NickTDS · 2012-05-20T19:52:23+00:00

Yes. Most guys read way too much theory and don't socialize enough.

The concepts are there to help you understand but they won't matter unless you implement them. You can't will yourself to overcome approach anxiety -- confidence comes from experience. Being in an interaction is very different from reading about it.

The golden rule is for every hour of reading, you should spend two hours doing. You've absorbed all this material, but what do you have to show for it?

Stop reading for now and start going out. The guys who grow the fastest and achieve the most success are the ones who actively put themselves on the line.

The whole point of this stuff is to become awesome with women. You aren't going to do that sitting behind a computer monitor.

Foezjie · 2012-05-20T19:41:37+00:00

Reading too much of this stuff tends to make you dislike, possibly even hate women. Tyler talks about this in Blueprints. Just learn to like yourself, and most of your issues will take care of themselves. You don't need encyclopedia's of game in your head unless you are legitimately interested in the psychology of it.

anthony0123lol · 2012-05-20T20:12:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mariodood · 2012-05-21T01:39:33+00:00

You will learn way more from approaching a few sets than you will from reading for an hour.

Don't be an ebook artist. You're not growing as much as you think just from reading theory, that shit goes in one eye and out the other if you aren't approaching at all. Meet up with a friend or two, find a wingman, and DO IT.

BinaryShadow · 2012-05-21T06:34:11+00:00

I learned this when taking martial arts. You can practice all you want, but it's nothing compared to being thrown in the ring and forced to use what you learned in a real fight. It's the same with this stuff.

Read about inner game. Don't take notes or anything, but process it. Get the general idea of it all. Then go out there and be confident. Come back and reflect on what you did vs not do. Post a [FR] and get some feedback. Rinse and repeat.

A healthy mix of theory and field-work is what you need with anything. Thankfully, this subject is very low-risk once you get over the fear of failure and you can afford to "screw up" as much as you want without any consequences.

Wollff · 2012-05-21T15:17:18+00:00

Well... this is going to be a little long, since I have strong feelings about anything that starts with: "You should..."

So I've know about the seduction community for about 5-6 months.

That is about the usual timespan where you can and should simply be insanely curious. Read everything, watch everything and get a feeling for things. That's what you did, and that's what I consider a perfect beginning in the study of every topic.

Now you have a solid idea what all that PUA nonsense is about. It's time to decide what you want to do with it.

It's probably because this is a social skill that makes the amount of stuff to learn about near infinite.

So is the amount of bullshit you can make up about social stuff. Just take a look at the self help and lifestyle sections of your local bookshop. You will find much that at first glance looks like it's worth learning, but at a closer look turns out to be bullshit. Same with pickup wisdom.

After your half a year of unbridled curiosity I would advise: Become insanely critical for some time. Don't believe anything anyone tells you because he's a bro and he got a theory. That easily cuts the amount of things to learn down to a few central key points and makes the whole pickup thing much easier to handle.

But here's the real 'problem': I hardly approach.

Is that a problem for you, or is it merely a "problem" for you?

Everywhere you read that you should go out. But I don't.

If some people on the internet write that you have to go out and approach people and you are merely unhappy about not fulfilling their expectations, then it is a "problem".

Behind all this lurks the question: What do you want to get out of the PUA stuff you learned? Answer that. It's important.

But even then I really want to just become more social, talk to everyone, have a smile on my face when I go to sleep at night.

Is that what you want? Good.

What do you have to do to get it? You know that as well, since the answer is obvious: If you want to be more social and talk to everyone, you have to be more social and talk to everyone. Oh, and you have to smile when you go to sleep.

If that's all you are aiming for, you don't need any theory: Everyone but PUAs does social interaction in that naked, awkward, hilarious and clumsy way.

You only need theory if your social interactions are not the spectacular fireworks you would like them to be. If social life feels like trench warfare for you and the people around you, then you need theory.

*Is it possible that I'm using all this theory to "comfort" my not-approaching? *

Yes, that is entirely possible. But you already know that much.

I think you simply have to decide: What do you want to get out of learning PUA stuff?

If you merely want to improve your social interaction with people you know, you need not approach anyone. You have read about the topic. You feel better and more confident. And with time you will be able to apply all those lessons in your daily life. That's great. Congratulations.

If, on the other hand, you want to sleep with 25 women by the end of the year, and you don't already have 25 candidates lined up, you will have to approach new people.

tl;dr: What is a problem depends on your aims. Get your aims straight, so you can solve your problems, and leave what are not problems.

noumenor · 2012-05-20T21:55:09+00:00

I personally think that knowledge is good for your mind, so I don't think it's possible to learn too much theory, and happiness you find within your own mind is a lot more secure than happiness found in another person, like a woman.

plushsicle · 2012-05-21T00:42:33+00:00

Too much of anything is bad for you.

Title	Can one read too much theory?
Author	Foezjie
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	May 20, 2012 7:30 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/twc4m/can_one_read_too_much_theory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-one-read-too-much-theory.1332917 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332917

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