Can someone help walk me through a 1st date? Just been winging it so far..

Submaker · 2024-12-18T16:31:22+00:00

If you show up early, only get water. I suggest showing up only 5-10 minutes early. If you're more than 10 minutes early, wait to text her. Otherwise, it's a little weird. It's great to text her where you are. I like to say, "Hey, I'm at the back right of the bar, blue shirt."
Chips and guac are great. It's always ideal to have something that won't make a mess with your hands or face.
When to leave is very subjective. I think having a MAX of 2 drinks at a bar is a great idea before going to another one. This way, it adds spice to the night and feels more like an adventure. This is when you can guide her arm or have a little physical contact to cross the street with her. Making her feel comfortable and safe is the most important. Also, when you switch bars, you rearrange your seating if you want to sit next to her. I go to cocktail bars that have couches so that we can relax more.

Note: ultimately, you're the guy and should be seen as a "provider." You can get a feel for her hunger, and if she is hungry, then have an idea beforehand of a restaurant you can go to.

You should tell her when you're leaving, "I'll walk you to your car." When you walk her to the car and say goodbye, there are two obvious signs. If both of your hands are around each other's waist in a low embrace, then you will have a green light to kiss her. If she avoids eye contact when saying goodbye, then you probably won't be kissing her. Especially with Gez Z women. It is never wrong to ask to kiss them.

Pro tip - when going between bars/restaurants. You can tell her, "wait one second, can I kiss you?" And I swear, women love this. It sets a great tone for the rest of the night.

Tell her to text you when she's home. Then, keep the next text short, like, "Glad to hear it. I had a great time. Can't wait to see you again. Goodnight!" When texting her later, try to match her energy. If she's on vacation, she might be busy and not wanting to text the guy she just met. Don't be needy.

Josue1777 · 2024-12-18T18:40:14+00:00

Way too much overthinking it. This is how I do it.

I typically already have a set standard for first dates, so every girl gets the same first date from me.

I always tell them that when I plan the date I take care of everything, I lead, they follow. They'll only know what time to get ready and how to dress for the occasion. This always gets a wow factor from them and theyre impressed. It only hasn't worked twice but it was ok. I also tell them I'll pick them up but if it's a first date from an app etc if they're more comfortable we can meet at the spot. I'll tell them where to meet on the day of the date, typically hours before. This has worked very well for me.

I almost always take them to the same spot at a taco spot in town, they know me because I'm a regular and always with a different girl, they don't say anything but they acknowledge me and almost every girl notices it, one has told me it even made them feel more comfortable because they knew me and gave her more sense of safety with me. So start frequenting a spot and take your dates there. I never take them to a fancy restaurant on the first date, I won't invest too much money into them because IDK where it'll go.

Once we're done eating (I also always tell them to come hungry) I'll tell them alright are you ready for phase two. (I always ask before the date what their bedtime or curfew is, a little playful flirting predate never hurt anybody). Then I'll typically take them to a movie theater we have in town that has a huge arcade and laser tag. I'll spend under $50 on games and it'll be fun and competitive which will allow a lot of flirting and even place some bets (never a kiss if I win.) I'll tell them they'll owe me a drink or they'll make me a desert idk something small and minimal. Oh and they always ride with me to the second phase, I give them the option to follow me but they're typically already comfortable w/ me because of how many of the employees knew me and I've broken the ice and even poked fun at her in a funny way and it's way more relaxed.
If time allows I'll take them to a duck pond or drive them back to their car. I almost always get a kiss at minimum more times then not we end up back at my place for "dessert".

I always immediately break the touch barrier when going on the first date. As soon as we arrived at the restaurant I'll tell them to meet me outside (assuming we drove separately) and as we're walking to the door I'll grab their arm and wrap it around mine. One of the prettiest girls I went on a date with said oh wow, thank you! After doing this and they're all receptive to it and actually enjoy this. I don't think I've ever had one complaint.

So the reason I always have multiple phases is because the more places we go to and also have activities like playing arcade games and laser tag it makes them feel like they know me more and is possibly a reason why I take several of them home on the first date. Also when on the date and after dinner when I tell them "are you ready for phase two" I almost always get a oh wow there's more. It instantly places you in a different category from most guys who only take them to dinner or drinks. You're showing you can lead and plan a proper date, so they'll be impressed. You don't have to do the exact thing I do but it takes the overthinking away and let's you be more relaxed and in control sense it's something that's already routine.

Don't force trying to take them home let it happen naturally. Typically if we haven't already kissed while playing a game we make out once we get back to my truck, also while at the arcade I'm always leading them to the next game by holding their hand and having them follow me or grabbing their arm and wrapping it around mine. Break the touch barrier immediately and do it naturally on occasions like this.

Also, you can tell which type of women you can do this with but sometimes on the phone call before the date I'll playful tell them, you like a gentleman right? Them: yes of course. Then I'll tell them well I'll open your door every time you get into my truck but it isn't free... Them:... What do you mean, Me: I charge a booty smack everytime, you know, like a true gentleman. Obviously say this playfully. I always get a laugh and yeah, I can afford that easy. I've even had some that will purposely turn around and stick their butt out for me to smack once my door is open for them.

And also I'm not the best looking guy, while I do consider myself handsome, I've gained some weight since my injury and it hasn't stopped me from accomplishing all of this. Just be confident and have that routine down!

liftingnstuff · 2024-12-18T19:12:59+00:00

Somewhere you can sit next to each other is always preferrable.

I eat beforehand. Saves money. If she wants to get one fine whatever. You don't want her feeling bloated/fat.

Depends, is there another phase of the date. Different bar/club? Activity? Ice cream, walk, park, scenic view? Back to your place or hers? Ideally you have a plausible 2nd phase scouted out if it's not going so well that you just go directly back to your place or hers.
Yes offer to walk her back to her car/take her home/walk her home if logistically appropriate. Kiss is better during the date because there are more emotional highpoints during the date but if you haven't yet but think it went well you should definitely go for it at the end.

Empty-Psychology-840 · 2024-12-18T17:35:45+00:00

Better is to meet here 20-30min walk to the agreed place. It has multiples of benefits. First you extend your date time. Walking feels like the first date. Dining second. Cocktail bar third. In addition, is way easier to do kino when walking rather sitting. Once you are in the restaurant she will already be used to your touch. Lastly, it is physical exercise, both of you will be more hungry, thirsty and more relaxed.
Better is to book a table where you can sit next to each other. Usually, I like to do reconnaissance day before to find good place. Talk with servers, befriend staff etc. Then I book a table which is the most romantic. I try to avoid chairs, always look for booths. Booths give more privacy. Then once you enter a restaurant, you sit the opposite each other. This is very important even if u can sit next to here, choose to sit opposite. This reduces pressure for her but also shows that you are not needy, you can sit next to her but you choose opposite. In addition depending how your date goes, you can calibrate and sit next to her or even better, she comes close to you.
Contrary to popular belief make sure you arrive 3-5 min later than she. It’s silly but it does put situation into correct frame. Which is that she is waiting for you rather other way around. Which does increase her investment. And make u appear busy.
Always order appetiser, main meal and so on. Remember the longer you are on a date the more time to get to know each other. Create trust, intimacy etc.
Always book two locations. One in the restaurant and another more intimate like cocktail bar 30min away from restaurant. If u see that the date is going great then around dessert time suggest that you know great place for cocktails and whetter she wants to see it. Don’t do it earlier. It’s better for her to think that the date will end soon especially if you both are having great time. Then once you offer to extend she will be more willing to go.
Make sure that cocktail bar is about 30 min walk away. This again allows you to extend the date. But most importantly, it allows you to kiss her. That’s right. Don’t wait to kiss her at cocktail bar. Better is to kiss her once you leave the restaurant, you can stop, sit on the bench etc. I like to do reconnaissance for more private places between restaurant and cocktail bar where we coil be more intimate. Don’t be surprised if things get really hot at this stage. Like kissing on the bench she might start touching your dick etc. I like to say things “hold on tiger” or “sorry, I am not comfortable of doing this on the first date” lol, it is total bs but works. And then say “let’s go get some drink” and go to the bar.
Once at the bar you can drink. Make out. Start doing other naughty things. Obviously depends how much you already escalated. But at minimum, do not go into the bar without kissing her. Also make sure you do push pull. 2 step forward 1 step backwards.
Once things get heated then ask if she wants to come home with you. At this stage is kinda obvious why you are asking, but women often get their bitch shield up at this stage. So find a logical reason, like “I have nice collection of books, want to show” or “I am tired but don’t want this date to end”. You can also assure her “don’t worry I won’t do anything you are not comfortable with” 😈
So this is the ideal date. But sometimes things don’t go by the plan and she ends date without kiss. Usually this means a game over. Say good bye and basically can delete a number.
Sometimes there was a kiss but she doesn’t not go with u home. In that case respect that, say good bye. And then wait for her to text you. Next morning or next week. If she does then agree on another date. If she doesn’t then is game over. Don’t text her first. If u do then you will not know if she is into you or not.
Don’t try to kiss her at the end of the date. It’s pointless. If she does not agree to go to next venue usually it is indication she didn’t like you. Kissing will be awkward at this stage.
Never say that you will want to see her next. Or do any plans for next date while you are on a first date. You will kill the attraction. Women like when guys are ambiguous about their intentions towards them. She needs to think “did he liked me?”, “will he text me?” , “why he doesn’t text me “. If you say that u want to see her again she will straight a way loose attraction. Also, you need to know if she likes you as well.
If the date went good, there was a kiss, or u hooked up wait for her to text you. Usually they text “hi, how are you?” Which is the most boring message ever, however the fact that she texted you first is indication that game is still on. There are exceptions obviously, but as a general rule wait for her to text.
While texting, be dry. Like use short sentences. Like you are busy all the times etc.. Again this is to create this ambiguity, whether u like her or not. It’s important to reply to her messages, don’t wait days, reply when u can, you can reply straight a way or u can reply after work etc. doesn’t not matter, what matters is that your texts are dry.
After couple of days of dry texting ask her out again. And meanwhile you can text, but again be dry.

Basic-Parfait3122 · 2024-12-18T14:51:07+00:00

Honestly, don't overthink it. Just read the cues (her attraction levels) and act accordingly. It doesn't have to be fancy, just a quick drink or coffee. If she likes you then you don't have to overthink or put on an act.

Just don't do simp shit like dinner or meal dates until you've slept with her a few times.

Title	Can someone help walk me through a 1st date? Just been winging it so far..
Author	DungusIII
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	December 18, 2024 1:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hh20vm/can_someone_help_walk_me_through_a_1st_date_just/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-someone-help-walk-me-through-a-1st-date-just.1538865 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538865

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