Hi everyone,

My problem is (23M) when I go out clubbing, I don’t really have a fear of approaching a girl I find interesting, but I really have a blockage when it comes to escalate anything.

For example, I got out this weekend and a girl that I found very attractive approached me and started dancing with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to be flirty and I didn’t reciprocate any touch once. I was able to make her laugh, take her sunglasses, those things, but god forbid I hold her hand or anything physical. Even her friends told me to go for it and that she wanted me to kiss her. I don’t remember the end of the interaction that well, I just remember I got out to smoke a cig and saw her staring at me from afar.

I have tons of interactions like that were girls approach me or really give me clear signals but I can’t ever approach, and when approached, I can go with the flow but am incredibly scared of being assertive and trying anything that could escalate.

The weird thing is, not long ago, a girl came up to me and said that her friends wanted me to go and kiss her, and I did without any hesitation.

How can I be more assertive and do something ? I know that there are lots of occasions where I could have approached or escalated, but when the decision needs to come from me, I get paralyzed by the fear of making them uncomfortable and making the wrong move, even if 100% sure it’s a go. I thinks it’s pitiful because I kind of crave physical connection with girls, and know I could have it if I just could go pass that blockage.

Thanks for reading.