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[–]kbonecapone 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
There is no time like on time. If you are early, don't look at your phone. Please do not go to Starbucks unless there are no other options.
Why specifically have you chosen coffee dates? Coffee is good if you are looking to find a girlfriend, because it is very much a setting where you can talk to each other and get to know them. Coffee is less flirtatious than drinks, and less forward than dinner.
[–]Jakenbake781 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm 18 and live in America haha. Theres about 3 or 4 nice coffee shops where I live so starbucks is for sure out of the picture.
[–]alexroars2 points 10 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Care to expand your thoughts on: "don't look at your phone?" Why? Can't I keep myself busy if I'n early?
[–]kbonecapone 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing scientific, but I think it lowers your value. When I am with anyone in a social setting, especially a date, my phone is nowhere to be found. It shows the person that you are present with them and that you do not need the constant stimulus of the Internet. If she shows up and you are on your phone, you are setting the tone for the rest of the date.
[–]bassaaphex 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do coffee all the time for first dates. Find an awesome cafe, get to know the staff. That way you can look super cool chatting with them when she arrives.
Most cafes will have news papers lying around, browse through a news paper instead of your phone, if you do arrive 10mins before her etc. If she's running late (and told you) I would just order a coffee for yourself while you wait, and get more when she arrives.
Definitely pick somewhere that has an interesting feature within walking distance. My fav place has a canal just across the rd with a nice Boardwalk, excellent place to bounce to and escalate the date.
[–]safeforw0rk 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
do you tap your foot when you sit idle? break that habit immediately by keeping both your heels on the ground, focus on that and you can't shake your leg. coffee is a good place to start, i recommend trying to change venue. find something fun to do near by and before your coffee is empty leave to the park, statue, lake etc. Shitty to say this but it will seem spontaneous and get you guys outside and away from a place that is nearly impossible to escalate.
Yeah I broke all those nervous habits a while back. Even when I'm nervous I can keep my cool and not look like a jackass. My favorite coffee shop has a library about a mile or 2 away so that could be an option I guess.
[–]sickchicken 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm definitely not an expert on seduction, but maybe you're over thinking it. Plus, if it's something you're going to make your 'new usual'. You'll get a feel for what works for you. Maybe just start by making it comfortable for yourself that way your date gets the vibe and she's comfortable too. Good luck!
[–]_zerofoxgiven_ 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Here's the general outline I try to follow for coffee dates. I've yet to pull it off perfectly though.
Go the the cafe. Be 5 minutes early, but be mentally prepared for her to be 10 minutes late. Read a book/newspaper in the time it takes for her to arrive.
When she arrives, stand and kiss her on the cheek. Make general conversation for 30 minutes.
During a lull in conversation, bounce to another location: any public location with a bench is good (park, beach, etc.). Escalate touch while you walk; this is easily done by touching her shoulder as you point her in a certain direction, taking her hand as you move through a crowd, etc.
Sit with her on a bench. Escalate. Go for the kiss. It doesn't matter if you fail, she'll respect you more for trying. If she doesn't kiss you, go back to step 3 (even if it's just moving her to another corner of the same park).
If you were clever, and you chose a place near your place or hers, find an excuse to bounce there. You can offer to show her something, or frame it as a quick stop on the way to do something else ("I just need to grab my coat").
???
Profit.
[–]Jakenbake781 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's pretty easy for me right now to get girls to come over to my place. I'm 18 and have my own place, and that seems to impress alot of girls around my age.
Also, kiss on the cheek for a first date?
[–]_zerofoxgiven_ 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fuck, why are you complicating things with coffee dates then? Invite her to your house for "coffee", jobs a good'un.
I live in Europe, kissing on the cheek when meeting a girl is normal here.
[–]Jakenbake781 -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I find that higher market value women don't usually just "go to your place for coffee" when first meeting you. I've increased my value quit a bit in the last 10 months, so now these women are an option.
[–]cmiovino2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Hug and make body contact the absolute first thing you do when she comes or you meet her. Without doing this, it makes any moves further on in the interaction rough and out of context. It's hard to escalate, even subtly in coffee shops. Bars/clubs, and other places, it's much easier and comfortable.
Number two, make sure to not just sit across from her. Sit close and to the side, or at the edge of the table. Anything to get easy access to touching and be closer.
I prefer rolling in a few minutes after you suggest to meet. It's funny, if you show up even 1 minute before she gets there, I feel they automatically think you've been sitting there for an hour waiting for them. Bad frame to come from.
[–]DaygameCoach -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You are way overthinking this. And you worry a lot about what people think of you.
I'm always early, regardless of venue. Let's me pick good positioning (table and my seat) and if there are other targets, I may work them.
I have a food identity so I pick places with really good coffee if possible.
Cuisine, daygamer.net
[–]Jakenbake781 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you actually advertising your website?
[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope. That is a sig. An advertisement is something else.
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[–]kbonecapone 9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jakenbake781 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alexroars2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kbonecapone 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bassaaphex 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]safeforw0rk 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jakenbake781 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sickchicken 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_zerofoxgiven_ 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jakenbake781 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]_zerofoxgiven_ 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jakenbake781 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cmiovino2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]DaygameCoach -2 points-1 points0 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jakenbake781 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link