~ archived since 2018 ~

Dealing with Rejections Effectively - 10 Reasons Rejections Actually Lead to Deeper Connections

Andrian-TQM

January 21, 2015

117 upvotes

/r/seduction

http://thequintessentialman.com/10-reasons-rejections-actually-lead-deeper-connections/

Archived from /r/seduction

r/seduction is a subreddit for dating help, with focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill subreddits and blogs. This page is our copy of the original post.

/r/seduction archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	Dealing with Rejections Effectively - 10 Reasons Rejections Actually Lead to Deeper Connections
Author	Andrian-TQM
Upvotes	117
Comments	12
Date	January 21, 2015 3:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2t6g5g/dealing_with_rejections_effectively_10_reasons/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-rejections-effectively-10-reasons.1382680 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382680

Comments

[–]haloshade9 points 11 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]torquesteer 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]haloshade 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I can't speak much for the long term, but I can speak for the short term. In brief: I don't feel much different before I pursue the rejection. However, I do feel amazing after I ask the question, it's like hearing a response is better than living in perpetual "what if?" along with the reward of just completing a task I find personally challenging.

So far, I've gotten two positive responses to my requests. One of which I linked above, the other I posted my summary on my YouTube channel but I didn't post the actual video I took earlier out of respect of my neighbors.

What makes these positive responses awesome though isn't the yes I got, it's the opportunity they gave me! These are opportunities I'd never get without asking these questions, the first being eating in a buffet with my own turkey sandwich, and the second was befriending my new neighbors and having a beer with them while eating dinner in less than 2 hours of saying hi. This is why I'm happy to take this challenge, I've learned that the only way to gain an opportunity it by asking for it. You just need to push those intrusive thoughts of "what if they don't like me?" away and just watch what happens. You may be surprised.

As Jia said in his TED Talk that inspired this all: "If you open yourself to the world, the world will open itself to you."

Edit: Melatonin supplements make me no good at grammar. Good night reddit!

[–]torquesteer 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]haloshade 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]haloshade 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Flaghammer 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]torquesteer 18 points19 points20 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Hi, author here. As many people who have experienced this phenomenon will tell you, it's very puzzling at first. Imagine that you expressed interest in a girl, and she declines for whatever reason. For most guys, this is the end and we move on. However, sometimes, the same girl comes back and starts to flirt with us.

So we think that... "ok, that's where the friendzone starts, since the sexual tension is gone now that I've been rejected". But you start to find out that she's initiating and is actually interested in getting to know you better.

The more I dig into it, the more I realize that it's just basic human psychology. We are drawn to people who can express themselves openly, and we tend to miss them once they're gone. So at first, it might seem too aggressive and forward, but when they've pulled back, there's something charming about it.

It also has something to do with loss aversion, where she treasures something she's losing more than something she's gaining. But it doesn't happen all the time.

Just another to just be straight up about it.

[–]RPSigmaStigma 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]torquesteer 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link