Im a giant introvert

CometAzur42069 · 2022-10-03T19:39:20+00:00

lol if you can barely talk to other people, you're not going to find much success suddenly beginning to talk to women. There isn't much advice here for you besides just go say hi and say whatever. You might fail, you might succeed, but the experience is a good start. Go speak to many people in all sorts of settings, not just women

I have zero social skills

This isn't what an introvert means. This is beyond being an introvert, you are not socially intelligent and likely are not emotionally intelligent.

SontiacSathar · 2022-10-04T13:55:29+00:00

Don't get some of the toxic comments honestly.

First of all, Emotional Intelligence is not a real thing. There are multiple studies where almost all of the 'emotional intelligence' indicators can be mapped to other real personality parts (O.C.E.A.N). Plus, no one ever clearly defines what EQ really is, so most likely fake, or at least the high importance that people give to it.

These are my suggestions:
1) Don't go with a goal in mind when talking to someone. For example, "I will talk to her so I can get her number," or "I will talk to him so he invites me to a cool event." Instead, do it for the experience of talking.

2) Practice one thing at a time. If you push yourself too hard at the beginning, you are not gonna do it, and you are not going to make progress. Be nice to yourself and set goals that you can actually accomplish.

- One week, try giving X amounts of compliments to random people every day. That's it. "Hey dude, cool shirt," "Hey, your hair looks awesome. Thought I should mention that." Whatever it is, just find something to compliment.

- Another week try opening people into conversation. Easiest way is probably 'Opinion Openers,' you can look them up or make your own, but it's basically asking them an opinion on something interesting. Best way to do it, is give them two options to choose from, and then tell a story or a follow-up question. Another great way to do it, is go shopping, and ask people around to give you opinions on different clothes (also great to learn about fashion a bit if you ask people that look cool).

3) Once you have already connected, you can ask open ended and interested questions. People's favorite topic is themselves. Problem is most don't know how to ask question and LISTEN. I remember a date with a girl where she said she had an awesome topic and gotten closer to me, and I barely said a word about myself. Instead, I just asked questions, listened to the answer, and went off it. I can expand on this and give examples later.

4) Use the 3-2-1 Method. Basically, every time you know you have to do something, you count backwards from 3 to 1, and then you take action. Basically, your mind takes about 5 seconds to come up with excuses so if you want to go to the gym for example:

- 3-2-1, get up. 3-2-1 start getting dressed. 3-2-1 go to the door, etc. This is an exaggeration of course, but sometimes it helps in the beginning just to get used to it.

You would do the same when you see her. 3-2-1 start walking. 3-2-1 say something. You can read more about this in 'The 5 Second Rule' by Mel Robbins.

u/anchoredteal gave some good advice. Experience matters a lot. The more you approach, the better it is. Like any skill. Not sure what the book is, but yeah, having a plan makes it a LOT easier to get over the fear of approaching.

SnooCheesecakes6900 · 2022-10-03T18:58:35+00:00

Your not introverted you just lack social skills.

To have better social skills you just need to get some balls and start approaching more women. There’s no secret cure or tips go out and approach next time you see that girl say hi and introduce yourself

joelvaldezg · 2022-10-04T07:40:46+00:00

Go to therapy

XxXROB1123XxX · 2022-10-03T20:13:37+00:00

Start with socializing. Start with making and maintaining eye contact with strangers. Hold conversations etc. Any easy method is talking to your waitress, they want to be nice to you for tips.

For Dating, start by going on dates with girls you don’t like as much. Seriously you don’t want to blow it with your crush because you’re awkward because your inexperienced. Get the awkwardness out with other girls, then once you feel confident and comfortable, ask your crush out.

Don’t sweat it man, you’re very young and have plenty of time.

zapadz · 2022-10-04T05:32:04+00:00

Here are some videos on skills with women as an introvert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E1cm833Z2o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1q07WHuOs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85jQpsxhMCc

Here is is a video on starting conversations with women and asking them out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08sXxIx6ots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGwQR_A2faA

Independent-Garage59 · 2022-10-04T08:30:23+00:00

Man im 20, every time i ask my friends about having a relationship they always tell me to not having one, idk you have a good friends or not

Teddyzam · 2022-10-04T08:45:44+00:00

Ur issue is a bit intense I don't think it gonna be fixed easily u gotta have the right mindsets , perspective , knowledge. traits , skills. Behavioure , techniques I highly recommend u this elite dating experts who have everything u need abt social skills dating and in life in general I know them all in person they are the real real deal here they are honest signalz , a g hyden and majorleaguedating. Just type it on YouTube ur life will be changed it will take a twist for a good. Do it now!

epimpstyle · 2022-10-04T11:06:37+00:00

Maybe you are shy?

- drop a condom from your pocket in a crowded place

- drop a condom near a girl

- drop 5-6 pennies from your pocket near a girl then pick them up one by one

- purchase only one strawberry in a marketplace and go to a young female cashier

BTW... how about calling a random phone number and asking something? If it is too easy, ask "what day is today"?

Adventurous_Jelly_54 · 2022-10-04T15:08:58+00:00

Coaching offers love and direction. All you have to lose is $5 and 60 minutes, click the link below to book a time.

https://calendly.com/tarzantechnique/new-client-intake-5-dollars-60-mins-brt-goals

MikeLPause · 2022-10-04T15:35:02+00:00

Maybe it's not just social skills, maybe it is. Either way the best way to break barriers is to throw yourself into deep water and just attack. No baby steps bullshit, although it would help to talk to random strangers as a warmup. Either way, what i think works best is going balls deep. :)

MikeLPause · 2022-10-05T03:58:16+00:00

Let's do it together 😉 I wish you good luck fam

Title	Im a giant introvert
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	30
Date	October 3, 2022 6:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xurv80/im_a_giant_introvert/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-a-giant-introvert.1248984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248984

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