[deleted by user]

fuzzy_brb · 2022-08-20T19:21:25+00:00

You hitting on them makes you better than 99% of dudes out there.

It's all a numbers game. Keep improving yourself and keep shooting your shot with no expectations. Good luck

Stujitsu2 · 2022-08-20T20:47:39+00:00

Dude girl setting on your lap is about as good as it gets. All you had to do was make out with her.

Club__Paradise · 2022-08-21T00:21:12+00:00

The main issue I see here is your confidence. It happens dude. I went out to the club before and then the next morning I'm thinking back to things I said and I'm like "Fuck, that was lame", but then I remind myself, "hey, it felt fine at the time and at least I'm talking to girls".

When you told those two girls that you fell in love with them, you're only cringing now because they rejected you. Had that turned into a great interaction you would have been like "Damn, that was a good opener, I'm going to use it again next time". This is basic outcome dependence. I don't believe it was lame and cringe as you say, I'd happily go up to girls with a playful attitude and say something like that. If they reject you, it honestly doesn't matter, just have fun, troll them even. Don't take yourself too seriously and you'll demonstrate high value.

I was dancing near this girl recently and I thought I was getting some IOIs, but wasn't too sure. Anyway I didn't move straight in, I just kept dancing. In that time she was approached by 3 different guys who came out of nowhere. All 3 of them left quickly after getting rejected. She then turned slightly away from her friend to the point that I could face her and I said "that last guy who approached you was my boss" (not true, just random BS). She then kind of laughs but looks at me like I'm weird and then I'm thinking "Meh that was a stupid thing for me to say, this isn't going to go anywhere", but I just thought to ask her for her name and she's like "yeah no, we're not doing this" and then turns back to face her friend. Fuck, I'm rejected! So at that point the automatic response for me to was get out of there like the other guys did. But I realised how low value that would make me look. If I left it would mean the only reason I was occupying that space was because of her and after she shuts me down, I'm no longer comfortable in that space. So I just smile, keep on dancing and end up hitting on some girls who were on the other side of me, not the most attractive, but they were interested and giving me strong IOIs. And of course 10 seconds later girl who just rejected me is grinding on me and ends up following me when I left the dance floor later. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that even rejections aren't always rejections. If you think you get rejected, just stay positive, forget about them and keep on having fun, plenty of other fish in the sea.

I've already written a fair bit here, so I'll keep the last bit short, but with that girl that was on your lap. Less is more. Don't worry too much about having a conversation, just look into her eyes, move your head in close and make a flirtatious remark here and there, "you seem like the type of girl my mom warned me about", she'll be confused and ask why and then you can literally just smile, look into her eyes and say nothing, hold the eye contact, go in for the kiss etc. The key is just to escalate and not spend too long doing the same thing, otherwise she'll get bored.

RideTheRim · 2022-08-20T18:57:07+00:00

You did the opposite of what you should have in all of those situations, as a lot of 18-year olds would. Don’t beat yourself up, just try to understand why. The answer is you come off unconfident and desperate, two absolute mood kills for women in a club environment.

peshfruit · 2022-08-20T23:48:02+00:00

Comparing the two girls or even commenting on both was very bad lol. Don’t go for two girls who are friends. Offer to buy a girl a drink, be nice, ask her for her ig or something and then LEAVE HER ALONE FOR A BIT. Even if you see her with somebody else, stay confident, smile at her maybe but keep doing your own thing and let her come to you. Maybe end up dancing together if you end up close together but buying her a drink and then leaving her alone/flirting with her from afar is going to help your chances a lot if you’re easing into social skills. It says you’re confident and interested but you aren’t desperate and you aren’t a clinger.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-08-20T22:25:37+00:00

Okay so clearly you’re the lowest status one of the bunch which, by how you describe them, is probably nothing to be ashamed of. You have two options, you can go out with lower status friends who will make you look more attractive by default, or you can continue doing what you’re doing, observing, analyzing, and working on leveling yourself up, so that you can pull on their level. The first option can work to an extent, but you will slowly lower to their standards and they might cockblock or kill your chances. The second option will be more difficult and it will take more than a few tries to see significant improvement, but you will level up over time (years), and once you do it will most likely stick with you long term. So pick your poison. And remember guys who appear to get girls “without trying” are usually not just picking one and snapping their fingers. They are picking up on cues from the girls who are showing interest and taking over from there. There is no such thing as a guy who gets every single girl he wants. They are just good at capitalizing on the ones that do want them, and not setting themselves up for public rejection by going for the ones who don’t.

Cantsleepperson · 2022-08-21T00:36:00+00:00

Just went through your history. You dress in clothing one size up and you have a depressing demeanor. Looks like you have a nice body and face, why you sabotaging yourself?

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-08-20T23:16:13+00:00

Do you know what flirting is for? To sexually escalate an interaction. If a girl sat on your lap... Why do you want to flirt? The next step is to touch her, physically escalateand kiss her.

I think you need to drink some alcohol and relax.

Majestic_Ad_2885 · 2022-08-21T05:23:18+00:00

I have terrible social skills. Nonexistent to be fair. One thing I have learned is that it’s a skill for a reason. You build it. You learn. Until eventually you are a master.

zapadz · 2022-08-21T00:35:49+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddfiZXyLM2Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlMfJU2mATY

Wooden_Worker_3107 · 2022-08-21T06:34:12+00:00

How about having conversations for the fun and not to get girls? Girls in clubs sometimes have multiple men in the timeframe they are there so it wasn't a rejection if she sat on your lap and flirted with you. She just is a hoe wanting more approval from other men too.

Do not compare yourself to others btw. Only compare yourself to your past you.

2022-08-21T07:17:18+00:00

Greta job! Rejection is awesome practice! Keep at it! Go to the clubs everytime and try to get rejected 100 times. Learn from it! Proud of you for trying so much DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

ozzzy83 · 2022-08-21T07:32:53+00:00

Yesh, way easier via day than night for many reasons.

ToughKage92 · 2022-08-21T09:02:53+00:00

Buddy, you need to redefine rejection because only one of those was an actual rejection. The girls telling you to fuck off was truly the only rejection.

Girl 1 who was on your lap? cool you had something going even if it was your buddies trying to set you up with her, just need to keep practicing to keep her engaged, however don't EVER get stuck on one girl for the entire night unless you're dating or taking her out.

Girl 2 who wouldn't kiss your cheek? oh no she said no, still not a rejection, recalibrate and go agane! lol but seriously as soon as she said no, i'd have just said "well can you at least buy me a drink then?" even if its a soda or something, make her qualify herself by making it up to you.

Girls who told you to fuck off? Rejection, don't EVER say LOVE in the first interaction unless its about their clothes, accessories, personality, etc... I'd adjust it to "you're both so beautiful i can't decide who's more beautiful" BUT have a reason why each is beautiful in case they ask well what do you like about us, that's when you can pick something about their outfits to point out.

The easiest way to get over your running out of things to say is to "open again" and i don't mean walk away and restart a convo. I mean if you find yourself running out of things to say then keep some canned openers to use when you've run out of things, find something they're interested in and discuss it even if YOU'RE not into that, keep asking why they like that or why they chose it.

I've been doing this PUA stuff for years and failed many times but trust me you can easily always find something to talk about. EVERY interaction will be different but when you find some level of success then figure out what you did right and recreate it up to that point then figure out what you did wrong and try something else even if it's just how you phrase the question or statement. Those small things can make a world of difference, you can even pause to think how you want to phrase it and it can be good.

2022-08-21T09:39:18+00:00

As a girl this makes me want to vomit slightly.

No wonder those girls told you to fuck off, I’d say that was very polite considering. Do you know how insulting it is come up to someone and basically shout in their face ‘I will fuck you because you have a vagina, either will do as you both have vaginas, you are just genitals to me’, that is pretty much what you said. Way to make a girl feel pretty mate.

The girl who was actually interested in you you didn’t act on, she was sat on your lap?!

anointedfingers · 2022-08-21T13:39:01+00:00

Keep trying. Lol

Noryb_of_Myst · 2022-08-21T14:11:42+00:00

First thing you are good looking guy. My clubing experience come from Berlin and Wien it can be lot of differences depending on place. Basically easiest place where you can hook up with girls are clubs. You don't need to be specially skilled to get girls in places like that, you just need to stat your intentions, first girl you mentioned was there for hook up, you should close it. Many girls are going to clubs for sex, those who comes just to dance are easy to recognize. Just approach girl ask her to dance, then escalate from that. Stop using pick up lines.

texaspete3 · 2022-08-23T10:01:43+00:00

If a girl comes on too strong at first, don't be afraid to tell her to be patient. You got her to chase you but you didn't push , you didn't give her any resistance and she kind of owned you in a way. If someone is sitting on your lap they are in charge aren't they?

erikmalkavian · 2022-08-27T23:12:00+00:00

Also, remember at the club physical dialogue is more important than anything.

Escalate, Isolate and get her home.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	31
Comments	24
Date	August 20, 2022 5:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wtctl1/field_report_huge_fail_at_the_club_how_i_got/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1251600 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251600

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