I have an important question for my fellow men

passengerpigeon20 · 2022-08-17T05:13:43+00:00

You just answered your own question. What is actually stopping you from lining up multiple prospects? Trust me on this one - ALL girls are replaceable. No matter how much you long for a particular girl, approach enough other ones and you WILL eventually find one appealing enough to make you forget all about her.

BusyConcentrate3587 · 2022-08-17T03:14:59+00:00

Bring to clingy can be unattractive

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-08-17T06:09:33+00:00

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incognito3107 · 2022-08-17T08:26:30+00:00

I guess you should view a relation for what it really is. Not some life fulfillment and divine connection, but simple gender exchange when you both give and take. Until it maybe evolve in something more some day.

PB0034 · 2022-08-17T03:31:00+00:00

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Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-08-17T04:29:57+00:00

I suffer from the same disease. Oneitis is very hard to cure because if you develop feelings and attraction for one person, that’s the person you want and thinking about other women is impossible because you’re only interested in the one that of course, isn’t interested in you.

hus_k_ · 2022-08-17T05:00:12+00:00

One approach is to talk to a few women at once and to not invest your time and thoughts solely into one. So many reasons why someone will stop talking to you that are out of your control. You can't rely on one person by putting all your time into it hoping it will work out. Meet more people and see who you connect with the most.

The other thing is if someone is no longer interested in you is to accept that. Know your value; "Well shame she isn't into me but it doesn't matter, I want someone who values me and what i offer, and that's not them, and that's okay"

You don't have to speak to multiple women but if it doesn't work out my second paragraph still applies :)

NinjaEuphoria · 2022-08-17T05:43:22+00:00

so i first want to say that i have always been terrible at this my (32m) entire life i have always developed feelings for some one and lose the ability to even think or imagine a relationship with anyone else. but im finally developing the perspective to see just how unhealthy it can be aswell as being unhelpful at getting a chance to date that (or anyother who is interested) women

so 1st step is admiting this is something you do often enough to be a problem but how do you fix it b4 it can get to a point of harming your social life or chances with ppl interested in you ...that is much more difficult and im far from mastering it but i have gotten much better by doing a few things different

i noticed around the age of 26-28ish that i was actually treating women i was attracted too different then anyone else usually in the form of "nice guy" traits being overrly accommodating or appologizing for things that required none but when there was a girl that i found out was attracted to me that i had not developed a "oneitus" for i would act much differently around them weather i found them to be attractive or not i came to the conclusion that it was the "me" that wasnt overly concerned about what i said or putting forth effort to get someone to like me that actually made me a more attractive person and that developing a oneitus mindset to someone was actually actively killing my chances with them.

it is absolutely paramount to try to identify when you are developing these feelings/thoughts and activly combat them while you can still easily walk away from the person intead of having to go thu "getting over there rejection" after its too late . you never want your personal health or ability to be happy henge upon anyone but yourself. regardless of weather you are in a relationship or not

women are vary intuitive to to the motivation behind peoples(men especially) actions and it is why the saying "nice guys finish last" exist . theres a massive difference between being overly nice or talking or treating someone in a different way to get them to like you as opposed to just not being an asshole and when women see that it can come off as being needy or in search of there validation or approval where as a man that requires neither comes off as much more confident and fun 2 be around.

lastly its important to have and be open to mutiple options b4 entering a relationship because weather u tell them how you feel or not they will usually pick up on it regardless and if ur not open to any other option that can put an immense amount of unnecessary pressure on them and cause them to pull away

hope this was helpful in anyway sry if this was offbase and just me projecting my own past issues . wish i had more helpful advise in the form of behavior to change\look out for etc. but as previously status ive far from mastered this but am making progress ...best of luck my man

dobbs1997 · 2022-08-17T13:01:33+00:00

love yourself more than the woman, never put a situation above you..stay detached but engaged in the moment and just realize that at any point it could all end .

zapadz · 2022-08-17T14:07:22+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tt-L2pROgk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eit85FAj4wg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLH7yUwkBPg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBqtJxMHPFM

Use this to get over them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-08-17T14:34:16+00:00

There's no problem with focusing on just one, im saying this because literally all my friends except me are engaged to a girl and they never had to talk to a shit load at once, they're pretty lucky that they found a no bullshit chick that they get along with by their mid 20s, abundance is cool yea, but only you know what you want so treat them as such, just make sure you keep your pride and your own standards and don't change for anyone

Competitive-Link-912 · 2022-08-17T15:20:49+00:00

The only way to not get attached is to have options.

There is no way to not get attached to a woman when you don’t have options and she is the only goal. Once you have options, you’ll only get attached with women you like and are attached to you.

Speak to multiple. Have dates with multiple and just experience life. It sounds cliche but with most of this dating stuff there are eureka moments where one day you have no confidence and your faking and then then next you actually are internally confident.

Keep going bro! You’ll get there

B00gie_f0sh0 · 2022-08-17T17:48:27+00:00

Your issue isn't "getting attached to women". There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and learning how to become attached to women in a healthy way, as a heterosexual guy, can only be a good thing. Your issue is revealed quite clearly in the part where you say: "she won't even like me back". You already know the deal so rather than ask how to avoid being attached to women, you should be asking yourself why you are lingering around a women who is clearly not interested.

So how do I avoid chasing women who are clearly not interested, you may ask?

Set boundaries and cultivate self-discipline. If she ain't feeling it, she ain't feeling it. Move on and cast your net elsewhere.

Title	I have an important question for my fellow men
Author	Perfect_War5446
Upvotes	0
Comments	22
Date	August 17, 2022 3:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wqdvu4/i_have_an_important_question_for_my_fellow_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-an-important-question-for-my-fellow-men.1251849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251849

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