How can I stop being so afraid to approach in public places?

LordPoopyIV · 2022-05-18T09:17:53+00:00

Yeah this sucks. People tend to use rules like the 3 second rule to take away their own time and chance to have negative thoughts. You see a girl and catch yourself wanting to talk to her, you start counting to 3 and walking up to her. You check your posture, check your smile, clear your throat and say hi. Nothing planned, just go with the flow.

I think the harder thing is not being self critical afterwards. I think people use variations on schema therapy to be their own wingman and big brother. Like, if you catch yourself screaming internally "I'm such a fool for saying that! Who says such cringey shit!?" You take the part of you that's hurt by that thought and see it as your inner child(young you), you see the critical part as maybe your dad or a bully, and then you go and play the big brother role to defend young you from the bully saying something like"hey! This was difficult for him but he bravely tried! At least he was being social and spontaneous, better than being some critical cunt or not trying at all."

Something like that. I'm personally having hard times with this so other people can maybe teach you better.

adaptor1 · 2022-05-18T11:01:29+00:00

After a few approaches most of the anxiety should fade. You can't get rid of it completely.

Learn to spot people who seem open for your approach, girls show signals if it's ok to approach all the time. Spotting those that are should lower your anxiety.

Velociraptor2018 · 2022-05-18T12:16:40+00:00

You approach girls. It will be awkward, you will fuck up but eventually you’ll see it doesn’t hurt as bad and it’s not as scary. You become more comfortable with it and as a byproduct you’re able to think clearer and have better luck

TheTruth221 · 2022-05-18T08:57:41+00:00

try getting a wing man to help

Romantic_Adventurer · 2022-05-18T11:15:54+00:00

Let's say you approach and it goes perfectly, how will you know?

What have been some excellent approaches you have done before?

What are the benefits of going to sleep at night knowing you did an excellent approach?

Classiccarsfans · 2022-05-18T12:25:30+00:00

Try a closed social circle,meetup group of the same hobbies for example.Having something in common will make you easier to talk,either with men or women.Be consistent coming to every meet.It will get easier

Title	How can I stop being so afraid to approach in public places?
Author	breh2022
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	May 18, 2022 8:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/us8gih/how_can_i_stop_being_so_afraid_to_approach_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-stop-being-so-afraid-to-approach-in.1259326 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259326

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