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that_guu
[–]CompetitionFair7686 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
You need to be playful because dating is about playing like a kid with the girl. Dating is a game, and the goal of the game is to enjoy playing it. You are too focused on adult things that you have forgotten how to have fun like kids do.
You need to take girls back to the playground (metaphorically speaking) meaning you need to go back to teasing them, messing with them, playing dumb but fun games, using your imagination,…
Imitating her behaviour her mannerisms, her gestures, her voice her words, giving her high fives but leaving her hanging, pulling her hair playfully, acting like you are gonna give her an object only to pull it away from her when she tries to grab it, playfully bump into her, basically being a kid when you flirt,
There is a time to be mature and serious, and when you initially hit on girls that isn’t the time, that’s a time to have fun playing like children do.
Because girls just wanna have fun and escape their stressful life’s for a moment when they are talking with guys who hit on them
[–]that_guu 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That seems like a sufficient description of the concept.
I will start trying to implement this whenever I have the chance.
Thanks!
[–]geardluffy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow this pretty much unpacked exactly what flirting is, never really thought about it but yeah, flirting is like 2 children playing.
[–]nchisav_danoy3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
19M here, I am exactly like OP, even as a kid i never did dumb shit. I was always aware and calculated in my actions
[–]bettercallsaul3 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This won't work with everyone. Some women are looking for more mature men who don't play around. Also depends on how mature the woman is as well. He's only 21 so it should work on most women though. Just don't be annoying and make sure they know you're playing around
[–]WT_E100 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the advice, I just have one question: How do I convey attraction when doing this? Because I feel like just goofing off with someone isnt going to be enough in a dating context, there needs to be dome flement of sexual tension in a subtle way right? How do I create that?
[–]brianbria -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Flirting is unnecessary. It's a complete waste of time. The only reason to do it is if you enjoy the process of flirting it and of itself but it won't help you get laid or get a girlfriend if that's what you are thinking - common myth.
That's a cum hoc logical fallacy:
I suck at X while sucking at Y therefore X is causing Y. I suck at flirting while sucking at getting with women therefore my bad flirting skills is causing lack of women in my life.
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thats an interesting view. I thought i could 'proove' its essence, simply by notting that its absence creates the unpleasant situation that i happen to be in:
I can't communicate my erotic/sexual attraction to women.
Usually when Im out on a date with someone, we will discuss various topics and get to know each other, but nothing else happens. 3 or 4 dates later, there is no sign that the other person is interested in something more than just talking. On my end, I am never able to show any signs that I am interested in something more either. So we reach what feels like an impasse. I end up ghosting them and move on to the next woman, knowing that the same exact thing is going to happen.
If flirt isn't necessary then what is? How will I be able to communicate my intentions?
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
By communicating your intentions with words. That's not flirting. Check out mode one by Alan Roger Currie.
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Will do, thanks.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
To be able to perform a given task one has to understand it conceptually first. At least that's how I work.
The concept of flirting is something that I fail to comprehend.
I don't question its purpose. As, you beautifully described, it creates sexual/romantic tension.
[–]Girl_shout 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe you also fail to comprehend what you're scared of? Conquer the fear, and you'll be more understanding of it?
Its interesting that you mentioned fear.
I would say that I don't feel scared but rather confused. Whenever I try to flirt, I don't know how to act or what to say or what to do in general.
It feels like trying to swim without knowing what swimming is.
I have to think about it more tbh. I never considered fear in my introspections...
[–]DeliberatelyInsane 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I learnt flirting following advice of one of the Dinosaurs of Pick Up. He used to call it CnF: short for Cocky and Funny.
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 16 points17 points18 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]that_guu 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]geardluffy 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nchisav_danoy3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]bettercallsaul3 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WT_E100 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]brianbria -3 points-2 points-1 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]brianbria 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Girl_shout 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]that_guu 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeliberatelyInsane 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link