[deleted by user]

norwegiandoggo · 2022-03-20T07:44:26+00:00

Mental health is probably the most important thing to focus on first and foremost.

You hate who you are as a person. When you hate yourself you project self loathing and people will want to stay away from the negative vibe.

You also have to stop comparing yourself to your friends. That shit is not helping. I'm going to be brutal but you probably know this; Your friends are more attractive than you are. They don't have the same handicap you have. So why are you comparing your success with theirs when they are different people? This is not helpful.

When you have "hot" male friends, there's one part that's good. Enjoy your friends and try to learn from them. Let their confidence rub off on you. But you should not hit on women when they're around. Going out with hotter friends is a death sentence to your game. You should instead go out with friends who are uglier versions of you. So you are the hottest one. Then you can hit on women.

I also know that being Indian in a mostly "white" country is hard as fuck. But I recommend that you lean into the Indian part of yourself that women like. For example, especially higher class Indians are known for such things like dressing stylish, being career oriented, being ambitious, big weddings, fancy huge parties, and lifelong commitments. Many Indians also are considered to be intelligent tech gurus. You guys invented math, kama sutra, and tons of women fucking LOVE yoga and Indian philosophy. Can you lean into the positive stereotypes of your people and be a proud Indian?

Adventurous_Gene_692 · 2022-03-20T09:04:16+00:00

If you are skinny why aren't you hitting the gym my guy

run-and-fuck · 2022-03-20T14:11:42+00:00

I am a South Asian man, 29 years old, living in the US. 5'8, a little chubby. And I spent most of my 20s, lonely and sexless. I dreamed of the day, women would find me hot/attractive/sexy. You are right, being Indian in most of the country can be a disadvantage. In the last couple years, though I was able to completely changed that around. I have a couple FWBs in a different cities, a long-term relationship and random hook ups here and there. I have had more success with women in the last year than my entire life combined. Last week, I was on a date with a gorgeous girl, who was literally nervous around me. Here is what I changed:

Stopped feeling sorry for myself and became vulnerable. You are not going to be everybody's cup of tea. Accept that. You are awesome, be vulnerable so you can attract people who like the real you. I am a nerd, couldn't give a rats ass about sports. I found my people, and now I go out with women who are enthralled by what I have to say.
Started working out. I took up running and plan to run my first marathon this year. It makes you fitter, better in bed and gives you confidence.
Took a serious look at my wardrobe and hairstyle. Went to a real barber (my dumbass used to go to hair salons!), and figured out what looked good on me. Its not as hard as it sounds. Talk to a friend who has good dressing sense. Bought clothes that fit me well and spoke to my personality. You don't need a ton of clothes, just a few good ones that fit! This one factor is easy to implement and pays back in troughs instantly.
Made myself more interesting. I traveled extensively and read everything I could get my hands on. I was always an intellect but now I don't shy away from giving people my opinion or bringing up topics I am interested in. If you want a quality woman, you need to be willing to disagree with her, form and hold your own opinions, regardless of what anyone things. This is a huge turn on for most women because they are so used to men just going along.
Learned how to approach and I approach everywhere. I personally find clubs and bars the worst place to find women I enjoy. Find where your people are. You can't have a relationship, if you don't meet more people. Approach everyone. Talk to the cashier, talk to your neighbor, say hi to everyone you find mildly amusing. Practice talking and being social. This is the one thing I learned from reading books on pick up. Remember the 3 second rule: you have to approach someone within 3 seconds of you noticing them or them noticing you. Otherwise, either you will freak yourself out or they will find you creepy.

There are tons and tons of advice on this site about how "pull" girls and how to get laid. I followed that advice for a while, read countless books about how to be better at pick up and yes some of those skills helped but if you want to find a quality partner or have richer relationships and better experiences, you have to work on yourself. Trust me the rest will follow.

Everything I am talking about is more succinctly described in the Models by Mark Manson. I read it recently, after struggling and discovering the truth on my own. I would start there!

Good luck, my friend!

adivinhaquemvoltou · 2022-03-20T12:05:06+00:00

Quick Tips

-Join the gym¹

-Get off Social Media, uninstall all apps like Face And Insta.²

-Read more books.³

-Settle life goals.⁴

-Quit Porn(this maybe one of the best advices).⁵

¹You should join the gym, so you can have a better confidence about your looks.

²You should avoid social media, because comparisons often times cannot be done based on likes.

³You should read more books so you can add a little bit of depth to your conversations.

⁴You should settle life goals so you can become happier about your life.

⁵You should quit porn because it can harm the way you see woman, you will most likely put them on a pedestal, and women hate that.

2022-03-20T08:51:21+00:00

I can help you improve your game. Just some simple modifications

hwillis891 · 2022-03-20T12:06:15+00:00

The first thing you have to do op is to relax. You’ve put a ton of pressure on yourself to be successful with women, and it can really destroy yourself as a person.

The first thing you need to have is perspective. 24 is super young, and it’s an age where you are learning about yourself and others the most. Your 20s are often going to be difficult in part because you believe the world is ending half the time because you simply don’t have the experience in a lot of areas.

As everyone else has said, the first step is self love. For me, self love means doing the things that I really like to do to make myself smarter, stronger, and more engaged. I do bjj, make art, and cook. These things give me joy and passion, and it shows in when I communicate with others. I don’t think so hard about the impression I’m making but rather the joy I’m having in the moment and in turn makes others feel joy around me.

Op, I think you should focus on the things in life that make you feel happy and give you joy. Women are nice, but to me women should always be seen as an afterthought or like the icing on top of a really good cake; superfluous and unnecessary. If you have one, great, if you don’t, cool; you have your philosophy and intellectual topics to chill with. Maybe read some Kant and dissect some philosophical stuff.

What I’m saying is that women don’t really care about men that care too much about them. Women have always been like that. A woman only comes to you when you show that you don’t care whether or not she sticks around because you have so much going on in your life that she isn’t a need but a want. Never make a woman something that you HAVE to have in your life. Look at Kayne west. He’s going nuts because Kim kardashian is having sex with Pete, yet Kanye could literally have any woman in the world with all the money and power he has. It’s because he thinks he needs her.

Attractive Women are highly fickle and capricious because they can be. They know at any time some poor male with low self esteem will do anything for them, while they can get away with murder. Yet these women always go back to the “bad boys” the men who “don’t follow the rules”. The truth is that these men are self actualized in themselves, attract money, success, and abundance in their lives, and only follow their own beliefs and ambitions.

The phrase “disregard women, acquire currency” has some truth to it. When you let go of what you desire while simultaneously working towards it, you are able to get it more easily because any perceived mistakes are now simply part of the process instead of a dramatic end of the world scenario.

Dunno if this helped, I know it’s long as hell, good luck to you homie.

Any-Contribution2180 · 2022-03-20T10:56:44+00:00

Look for the blackpill

BatBottleBank · 2022-03-20T07:38:33+00:00

You aren’t attractive. Watch porn until you no longer desire women

andyhura · 2022-03-20T10:00:39+00:00

Your self esteem seems like it needs a serious checking. It very likely rubs off on people and nobody is attracted to someone with a lower self esteem than their own. Read The six pillars of self esteem by Nathaniel Brandon.

Here’s a link to a free audiobook

https://youtu.be/mfFUVnwCNVY

Also read No more mr nice guy - Robert Glover

https://youtu.be/XYEFPar4D6E

And Models by Mark Manson

(No free link for this one so I’ll add another link of a book I also liked by him - The subtle art of not giving a fuck - Mark Manson https://youtu.be/Eh9lXFvjhtc )

You look at your ethnicity negatively instead of accepting what you are (you can’t change that) and making the best of it. You want to turn your results around well you need to turn yourself around. If you don’t commit to yourself no one else will

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-03-20T10:22:38+00:00

There's so much things going on. Okay some people say looks don't matter. If definitely does. So what could you improve? In terms of looks. You can go to the gym. Gain some weight and put on some muscles. In your inner game I'd say 3 things that's the most necessary. Confidence, flirting and being more social. I don't have that much time to write but if you need just hit me up and I'm gonna try to explain it even better

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-20T13:52:41+00:00

Frankly i hate what i'm as a person. Most of you may deny this but being an Indian in north america definitely matters

Of course it matters, but you know what matters even more? The fact that you hate yourself for being who you are. There is only something worst than having some flaws, and that is hating yourself for having those flaws.

If you are short, hating yourself for being short will turn off women far more than the fact that you are short. If you have are Indian, hating yourself for being Indian will turn off women far far more than the fact that you are Indian.

Women are always testing the strength, the confidence the guy has, or the self hatred he has. Women feel attraction to a guy who is mentally stable, confident, sure of himself, and who is happy about who he is and where he stands.

Sure you might not be the perfect guy in terms of looks b it women have shown over and over that they feel attraction towards other qualities too. Unfortunately you don’t have those qualities right now.

I have seen dudes just like myself who got lucky because they were latino, black or white. Being my race is off putting ot mist north american and european women.

And I have seen dudes just like you, complaining that because they are black or latino, european or north american women do not like them. The guys who get laid just have a different attitude, and social skills, the race is not what seals the deal.

You are really wrong if you think only people form a certain race can get laid, hell i even know white men who have a lot of trouble getting with european white girls just like them because they have other insecurities and lack of game. They are just not good at talking to women and they project their insecurities when they talk to women. They can’t have fun when talking with the girls they are always thinking when they approach a woman ”she is not gonna like me, and can’t fucking relax”

Race aside i also have a philosopher type personality (discuss various intellectual topics, not into sports etc

See? This is indeed a typical problem, being overly analytical, serious, logical, factual, objective and basically boring, is indeed a bigger problem when it comes to picking up girls than your race.

Girls do not feel attraction unless the guy makes them feel something, unfortunately discussing intellectual topics, and being boring serious logical etc just doesn’t make girls feel anything for you. You need to relate to them, you need to talk about feelings, or make them laugh, not discuss politics or boring shit, save that for college. And no discussing sports doesn’t work neither to get girls.

If anyone on here had legitimate success, how did you turn things around?

Need to put your ego aside, choose to stop comparing yourself to others, and instead compare yourself to who you were yesterday so that you only get to focus on your progress, you need to focus on humour, teasing and roasting the girls and provoking them to make the girls feel emotions.

You need to accept your genetic flaws because that shit doesn’t fly with women. If you hate your flaws that will be your biggest flaw of them all, and it’s a choice.

You cannot change your genetics, but you can change how you feel about them.

There are indian guys like you who accept themselves and get girl’s there are short guys like you who accept their height and get girls.

You cannot expect woman to like and respect you if you don’t like or respect yourself, and you cannot just wait for women to like you to start liking and respecting yourself

Respecting yourself and liking yourself has to come from within you, you need to admire your good things which everyone has, and stop criticising yourself for the flaws you may have.

Your internal dialogue plays a key role here because if you are judgmental towards yourself, if you are always choosing to blame yourself and attacking yourself then you are your own worst enemy here.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	22
Date	March 20, 2022 7:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tifoqo/its_time_i_admit_it_i_suck_with_women_and_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1264138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264138

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