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[–]dryempire 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Well at least you know your problem...
And dont read no more mr nice guy. Most "seduction" books are nothing more than bs PDF documents. If you want a life changing book, read Models by mark manson.
It really is just a question of mindset when it comes to self-esteem. It's hard to adapt at first but slowly you'll reap the benefits
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
But I do feel like a nice guy. Even now I feel like I made her feel like a slut. I only wanted one thing and she unmatched me for that.
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
because unless you look like a greek god, girls are just going to be turned off by degenerate behavior
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How do I work on my mindset man? My behaviour? Should I go for therapy? It's affecting other areas of my life, my focus, my work, my exercises. I'm not giving my best anywhere.
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you said it yourself
therapy
A lot of people don't like the idea but you'll realise your mistakes without your mind biasing yourself. Until that part is fixed, don't expect anything solid from yourlove life
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can't I fake it till I make it?
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bandaid solution. If you want to finish a chapter in your life and move on permanently, you have to go all the way and not cut corners.
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's expensive everywhere. Specially in the country I live in. We're looked down upon if we go to therapy.
[–]proud_texan54 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No more mr nice guy is not a seduction book. It does not focus solely on how to seduce girls. You are telling him not to read it and then you literlally recommend him a seduction book. Srsly? Not that models is not good.
But for fks sake don’t tell him to not read a book.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
How is models life changing ?
I read it 2 times, and it hasnt changed a thing
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If you don’t make the change, nothing will change. Excuses…
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, what change ? That book didnt really say anything
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Did you read the book? It talks about things you need to change pretty much all the way through. You being too stubborn to change is your fault; no one else’s…
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Read it 2 times. Maybe 3 times is needed.
But alot of times during the book i was thinking "everybody knows this" so i felt kind of weird reading it.
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But that’s the issue “everyone knows this.” That can be true while you also acknowledge that you maybe didn’t have the right role models, upbringing or socialization to make it real for you. There’s also childhood trauma and shame which can affect you.
I get where you’re coming from (I was there too) but really you have to make small subtle changes slowly and see how you feel about yourself vs waiting for someone else (like a hot woman) validate you.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you are right in everything you said.
You know what gets me ?
I know this, im good socially, and two of my most socially cæever friends have indepentently of eachother told me that im the best sociap guy they know.
So i dont know what it is blocking me. I cant seem to approach a girl even if i know she likes me. I feel like I have nothing to say, and cant sexualize the convo if needed
[–]Zebrahead033 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
You need to gain confidence. Whatever makes you feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, insecure or awkward - embrace it.
Put yourself in those situations until you improve them or accept them.
Sounds like you have so much more opportunity than a lot of guys but you're finding reasons to screw it up for yourself.
Stop being a pussy. If you screw up, so be it. Live and learn. Don't let all of these opportunities and experiences pass you by. It's never as bad as you think it will be.
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah man I got more than 500 matches in last 2-3 years. Got booty calls, dates. But I didn't go.
And I thought gaining muscle will help. But then people say you're doing it for girls. You should be confident in who you are. Accept yourself. You're enough. Then I shouldn't work out after all? I've got far more attention after I gained weight. If I was enough why I wasn't getting attention when I was skinny.
I did it to get fit, look good, build confidence, self esteem and attract women.
I say this with the utmost respect: you need a mental health therapist. Clearly something in childhood or your formative years is eating away at your self confidence and you need to understand what/why that is so you can cultivate self respect without relying on anyone (including women) that validate your ego.
I thought I didn't take risks. I didn't do things just because I was scared to do them. I thought learning inner game will help.
I always used to feel inferior in college.
Yes dating apps screw up your mental health but Idk if I wanna go for therapy.
[–]Zebrahead033 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Working out is a good idea regardless of the reasons or motivation behind it.
Do it because it's good for you. It feels nice to be strong.
[–]Kommoncents1 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Takes years in the gym to get a good physique. Stick with it. Go to the gym for your mental and physical health - not to pick up chicks…
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I want to but people say you're doing it for pussy. You should feel comfortable in your skin. You're enough etc..
But I got far more attention after the gym. I got matches on apps after I gained some muscle. So gym definitely helps with chicks. I don't go there to pick the girls in gym specifically.
Even one girl told me she would have fucked my brains out if I had just little bit more muscle. But I still look skinny.
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you want to grow muscle, you have to follow a diet and hire a personal trainer. Apart from that, you have to take risks, which is a manlike attitude: most girls, albeit not all of them, prefer men that are masculine. After all, what do you have to lose?
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mindset.
That I'm being told by women that most women will fuck me if I worked out.
Some women telling me work on your personality before you work on physical aspects. That mindset ain't gonna attract any woman.
Some saying accept yourself, you're enough. Muscle or lack of doesn't make a difference. It's your mindset.
But I never got attention from women before I worked out. I never had random women checking me out. So lack of muscles do make difference. Being skinny do make a difference.
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want to take, you have to give. What are you giving?
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really important that you should be enjoying yourself on a date no matter what. Be in control, but at the same time try to mix things up to get new experiences. It is not some exam of seduction, where the girl is your examiner. It is about creating circumstances that both of you can get to know each other and check if you can create some mutual productive vibe.
Anyway, stay casual and just do it. Theory can only bring you up to some point.
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[–]dryempire 2 points3 points4 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dryempire 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]proud_texan54 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zebrahead033 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zebrahead033 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kommoncents1 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ajayt365 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dodechaedron 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link