~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]BL00DINMYEYES 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Keep it simple. “Hey, what’s your name”
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Why don’t you start with yourself. Why do you think that anxiety exists. How’s your relationship with your parents? Your mom? Did you socialize a lot as a kid? Were you bullied? Why do you think CBT will help?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Why specifically women? If you have worked through other issues than why do they still persist with women?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So you’re afraid of women?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why are you afraid of attractive women what sets them apart from regular women? Is it only because of the way they look? Because a ten for you could be a 5 for me. It’s all subjective. I love that you feel confident that after your exercise you will be better at approaching attractive women. What’s stopping you now? Is it really a simple exercise or is it you?
[–]Kedrith 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Because he values the idea of being attractive in a social scale. If an attractive woman finds him attractive than he percieve himself of higher standard. When confronted with them he understandably has alot to fear, because not attracting this girl will make him think that he's of a lower quality/social status.
And no, sorry, but a 10 for him would be at worst a 9-8 for you, beauty is not subjective, taste is. There's a reason instagram model are beautyfull to everyone.
[–]Chicagoj1563 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you probably already know what to do. Exposing yourself to these situations is what you need, but you also need to try out different things so you can improve. You have to stretch yourself too. Asking for the time isn’t really a social risk, so it probably isn’t going to move you forward much.
Prove to yourself there is no reason to be filtered or careful about what you say around attractive women. A good way to do that is take social risks, approach and start talking to them as if you already know them.
Then, when you walk away always have a smile on your face, always be in a good mood no matter what the outcome was. Then just practice.
[–]andyhura 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have to rip the bandaid off bro. Take small steps sure, but you need to soon take bigger steps to continue to overcome your anxiety or you’ll be stuck. You have to show the girl you’re confident for her to like you, even if you’re not. If she senses you’re very shy or beating around the bush, it more often than not will get you nowhere. You’ll get quicker results in beating that social anxiety by saying things that would typically not be the thing you want to say. Just be honest, and tell the girl why you approached (you thought she had a pretty face, nice dress, something situational going on that you comment on, then get her name). If she rejects you, fuck yeah! Now you don’t have to wonder or not if you could’ve gotten that girl. Trying and getting rejected is far far greater than not trying at all and regretting it. You must understand this at your core. You need to go and approach so many girls that you are desensitized to rejection (and also that you learn enough through each interaction to do better the next).
[–]aznkor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hi, I think you're cute.
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is exactly what you can do. Approach attractive women and simply ask what's the time. You should get used to handling emotions eventually.
[–]maplemario 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have the approach down. This is a classic theory of progressive exposure. I would start by making eye contact. You don’t have to open on every eye contact. Once you make eye contact try to think of something you can comment on.
I like your necklace (boring tbh but better than saying she’s beautiful)
You got the vanilla latte? Is that actually good? (Asked with a mix of disbelief/uncertainty/disdain)
Damn I kinda wish I was at that ARTBAT show down the street right now (said at a club backstage; turns out we have an artist in common, easy convo)
Your eyes are crazy (said in a way that makes it sound like you think they’re beautiful, so she can read that you’re not literally saying she has crazy eyes)
Etc. examples of opens I’ve used. The more situational the more interesting; the more generic or common the less interesting
[–]hausman3 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]BL00DINMYEYES 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 5 points6 points7 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crazy-Reason-5087 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kedrith 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chicagoj1563 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]andyhura 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]aznkor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]maplemario 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hausman3 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link