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[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Spectre_ITM 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i had to search for the expression to understand. Thanks for the advice man.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Telling a girl how you feel has nothing to do with seduction which is what this subreddit is about.
Seduction is the art of attracting women through your social skills such as flirting, teasing qualification, sexualization, body language, physical touch, empathy, and provocations that convey your masculine attractive side in a manner that causes her to feel sexual tension and attraction for you.
Confessing feelings is just a beta move that virgin kids do because they probably watched that on a movie or something and comes from the idea that liking a girl must be a secret and a huge deal if she finds out, when it’s not.
[–]Spectre_ITM 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
But part of seduction is vulnerability not weakness but putting your ass on the line and not worrying about the consequences such as expression feelings.
[–]Illustrious_Size610 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The problem with confessing feelings, is that it’s not properly justified if you haven’t at the very least kissed, or if you haven’t had sex with her.
You can’t say to women you are in love with them randomly out of nowhere, just because you were friends.
And if you want to let her know that you are into her that’s fine but it’s not done by saying something like “hey i really like you for a long time and i was thinking if we could be more than friends” that kind of thing doesn’t work, and it’s not what’s seduction is about.
That just leads straight into the friendzone. Trust me i know. Confessing feelings and acting vulnerable without having had sex first just turns off the girl.
first you must have sex or make out, then relationship, not first relationship and then make out or sex
Confessing is not a good move overall it should be the girl who tells you she wants a relationship, your job should be to have sex and then she will be the one to tell you “what are we” and thatMs when you can tell her you are a couple.
But seduction is not about confessing feelings to start a relationship.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Confessing feelings for a girl you’ve never had nothing serious with is not a good move, it’s unjustified.
First you must have sex, and make out with her at the very least. Vulnerability works when she already is really attracted to you, and has had something with you.
Don’t cherry pick information to justify wrong moves. Seduction is mostly about creating attraction first, then escalating towards sex and lastly after that, being vulnerable in small doses.
Don’t start building the house by the roof which is what confessing feelings first is or it will crumble.
[–]stanthemilkman88 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Plus it is such a low investment signal that she'll instinctively distrust it. Especially coming out from no where.
[–]merchant_of_mirrors 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It depends how you do it. You have to make it clear that you're attracted but "confessing your crush" is usually not the way to go. The best way is with flirty conversation, strong eye contact, and eventually an invite to hang out one on one. If you do it right, she'll know what up and if she likes you she'll be easy to make plans with.
[–]Accomplished-Lab5914 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Are you on talking terms with her?
[–]Spectre_ITM 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes just basic sometimes awkward conversation, we have a lot of eye contact tho.
[–]Accomplished-Lab5914 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Dear Comrade,
It is time to do some reconnaissance. If she is a girl you'll see day in and out, then you can't enter the battle so aggressively. If she's cold approach, I would tell you to waste no time.
But:
1- She might have a boyfriend. Wasteful approach.
2- She may not fancy you, in despite of the eye contact. Which happens a lot in classes by the way.
So:
1- Get on talking terms with her.
2- Find out if she's seeing someone.
3- If not, then see if she will be interested in you.
4- If all is well. Declare crush.
Why so paranoid? Because you're in college, comrade. The story can go viral. And an aired failed crush is not good news for your college romantic career.
So reconnaissance first. Gather intelligence. Ask around if she's seeing someone. Know her, and measure vibes.
Go win the battle!
[–]Spectre_ITM 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks you for taking the time to help with my situation, i really appreciate that. You have a good point here not to go all out before getting to know here better. Even tho I'm not so worried about the story going viral if it failed but this sounds like a good approach. Thanks again
[–]Accomplished-Lab5914 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're welcome, anytime! In classes, the game is always longer. Report back, and tell us how it goes.
Rooting for ya!
Don't declare anything. That is awful advice.
[–]TearsofAnger 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ask her if she has a study group and make one with her
[–]Spectre_ITM 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
and then straight to the friendzone lol.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her out on a date. Tell her you find her attractive. Be cool about it. If she agrees - great if not - crush solved
[–]MattPruga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If she is in your class, meet her first. I met a lot of people by just talking to them about class work and homework. Don't tell her you like her immediately, you will most likely get friendzoned.
Get to know her a bit, don't be needy, don't show too much interest, don't try to prove yourself. Tease her, show confidence, talk about your passions with complete confidence and try to hook her with interest.
Pay attention to how you carry yourself, hold good eye contact, have a good range of voice tonality, be expressive.
After you do this for a while, after the teasing, eye contact, if she shows interest back, tries to tease you back, tries to look for ways to hang out or keeps asking questions (shes interested in your life) you can tell her you think she is a very interesting girl and ask her for a drink.
The reason I wouldn't go direct right away is because it can get awkward in the future if you risk everything immediately, as you will be seeing her in college no matter what happens and girls can gossip a lot.
Go in slowly, throw the bait a few times and wait to see if she grabs it, if not I would not do anything.
A good way to escalate more quickly is to go out to clubs. My college buddies go out every weekend and I see a lot of women from class there. The environment and circumstances are much different during the night life when everybody is drinking and trying to have fun. You can hug/touch people easily and don't have to calibrate as much when you do stupid shit.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MattPruga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
why
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[–]Spectre_ITM 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 15 points16 points17 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Spectre_ITM 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Illustrious_Size610 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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