How do I grow a pair and start talking to girls?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-12-10T19:58:32+00:00

Shy? Afraid of rejection? Of making a fool of yourself in front of her or other people? Worried about what will people think?

The problem lies in your ego, your fear of what others might think of you, and how others will value you.

You are worried of doing something that others would consider weird, or worried making a fool of yourself and being laugh at, or getting a bad reaction from women.

All of that comes down to the same problem, which is that you want to protect your ego.

Your ego is like an invisible monster living inside your head, i like to picture it as Gollum from lord of the rings.

Your ego, or your Gollum is always whispering in your ear and controlling your behaviour. Your ego makes you act in ways that won’t cause damage to him.

Hence why you freeze, it is your ego that makes you freeze because it’s controlling you. Gollum is controlling you and you are his main ally.

The thing you need to understand about Gollum (your ego) is that he is not your friend. He is your main enemy.

And yes it’s all in your head, but you need to be aware of your enemies in order to realise you have to defeat them.

The key thing here is, that your ego is worried about protecting your image, or your sense of pride or sense of value. He wants to look cool, attractive, wants to fit in with other cool people, and not be perceived as inferior to others… The problem is that this needs are all bullshit and actually damage your life.

Ego just wants you to take yourself too seriously, he can’t allow you to have fun, he can’t allow you to laugh at yourself, all he is worried is that you fit in with the cool people or to be seen as valuable person that others value.

Therefore rejection is your ego’s worst fear because that goes against his needs of gaining people’s approval.

You need to choose to not attend to his needs, you need to choose to not give a fuck about protecting your image, you need to just say fuck you Gollum, i don’t care about appearing cool… You are, but not me. Because i prefer to laugh at myself and take myself less seriously.

Saying hi how are you to random women won’t work until you choose to be ok with rejection, until you choose to be ok with the fact that some girls won’t like you and that some girls might even think you are weird for talking to them or be disgusted by your attempts at interacting with them, and that’s ok.

That the world goes on, your life goes on and nobody will care months from now about that time you got rejected in a cruel manner. You yourself won’t even feel pain years from now, because pain is temporary.

Heck if you learn to just take yourself less seriously you won’t even feel pain if a rejection happens.

I do get rejected sometimes and i just congratulate the woman for her creativity in rejecting me, because i just don’t choose to take it personal.

Her rejection enters my ear and leaves through the other ear. I don’t let it affect me and I don’t see her rejection as something that defines my worth or who I am, because it doesn’t.

Things can only affect you if you choose to take them personal.

Every time someone rejects me I celebrate it, because it means my ego just took a huge beat, and that’s a step further to get rid of his influence, because a defeated ego teaches me to be humble and when you are humble nothing can affect you.

EricH4753 · 2021-12-10T15:49:22+00:00

You are literally just talking to another human being relax it’s not that serious

1990MeWuzBorn · 2021-12-10T16:29:25+00:00

Talk to them in the same way you’d talk to a guy. There’s no difference. And quit putting them on a pedestal.

crownpoly · 2021-12-10T17:10:12+00:00

Pretend that you’re gay or are in a committed relationship, you’ll find it easier to talk to females and not have to try as hard. I’ve got this advice a while ago and it drastically changed how I approach woman.

2021-12-11T01:29:52+00:00

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norwegiandoggo · 2021-12-10T15:51:49+00:00

You can reduce your approach anxiety by using tactical breathing (box breathing) and reframe your ideas around rejection to being positive.

foghatyma · 2021-12-11T01:31:31+00:00

Tell your friends you want to approach girls. And tell them you buy them beers if you chicken out. Even better if you can make it a bet: you approach 10 girls, you get a beer, you approach less, they get beers.

random_af_guy · 2021-12-11T02:59:26+00:00

Wait.

Are you afraid of any girl? Or just the girls you want something from?

Have you tried talking to a girl you didn't want something from?

Have you talked to any person, of the female species, to the point where you could treat them like a buddy?

Have you talked to older women? Ones where the conversation is already disarmed because your clearly too different in age?

Have you interacted with the opposite sex at any level whatsoever?

Do you have any friends that are even the slightest bit considered a girl?

If none of these, I advise starting at the bottom and working your way up.

letmereaddamnit · 2021-12-11T03:34:46+00:00

When I get rejected I say "wow I really dodged a bullet. She's not into me so she's clearly an idiot". I know it's stupid and not really true but it makes me laugh and feel better.

Successful-Try7035 · 2021-12-11T05:28:33+00:00

Don’t give a fuck. It helps

Altruistic_Field2134 · 2021-12-11T06:39:14+00:00

"Planting

Plant pear trees in early spring. Order bare root plants in mid-winter so that they arrive in time.

You’ll need full sun for best fruit set and fertile, well-drained soil as well as good air circulation.

If you live outside of the dry western regions, you should choose fire blight–resistant types and rootstocks.

Plan to plant at least two varieties of pear trees, as they will need to be cross-pollinated to produce fruit. Make sure the varieties are compatible with each other.

Space standard-size trees 20 to 25 feet apart. Space dwarf trees 12 to 15 feet apart.

For container-grown trees, remove the plant from its pot and remove any circling roots by laying the root ball on its side and using shears to cut through the roots.

For grafted trees, position the inside of the curve of the graft union away from the sun when planting.

Dig a hole that is a few inches deeper and wider than the spread of the roots. Set the tree on top of a small mound of soil in the middle of the hole. Be sure to spread the roots away from the trunk without excessively bending them. Do not add fertilizer or topsoil to the hole.

Check out our video to learn more about how to plant a bare–rooted fruit tree.

Care

Water the young trees well during dry spells to help establish the roots.

Apply a small amount of fertilizer early in the year. Add 1/8 pound of ammonium nitrate per tree multiplied by the number of years the tree has been set in moderately fertile soil. If you have highly fertile soil, use less fertilizer.

If the leaves are pale green or yellowish during the summer, use a little more fertilizer the next year.

If the tree grows more than 12 inches in one season, use less fertilizer the next year.

Be very careful when applying fertilizer! If you give your trees too much nitrogen, they will become more susceptible to fire blight and also may focus too much energy on producing foliage instead of flowers and fruit.

Pruning Pear Trees

Prune annually to keep the tree healthy. Generally, prune lightly to keep the trees looking their best and productive.

For dwarf trees, prune them to a central leader system.

Standard-size trees can be pruned to either a central leader system or a modified leader system, which is easier to maintain.

The central leader system features a central trunk with branches that spiral out every 5 to 8 inches, making sure that no branch is directly above another. The training for such a system begins in the early summer of the first year, during which time you should remove any shoots that form within 18 inches of the ground. The end result should resemble a Christmas tree.

Use spreaders to help shape the branches of the trees. These help the branches to spread outward rather than upward. When the branches are small, you can use clothespins to push the branches away from the main trunk. For bigger branches, use wooden slats with a “V” shape notched into each end.

Remember to thin the fruit as well, leaving about 6 inches between each cluster of fruit per branch.

After your trees are established, water them regularly.

Pests/Diseases

Fire blight

Pear psylla

Aphids

Mites

Powdery mildew

Recommended Varieties

‘Bartlett’, which is the standard choice for pear trees. This tree type is average-size and produces medium to large fruits. These pears ripen to a yellow color. However, this variety is very vulnerable to fire blight.

‘Kieffer’, which is resistant to fire blight. This type produces medium fruit and can be used in canning.

‘Anjou’, which produces light-green fruit with a sweet flavor. This type is a good choice for late-blooming pears. Good for canning and fresh use. This type can store for up to 6 months with little loss in quality.

Harvest/Storage

Harvest pears when they are mature but still hard. Ripen the pears at room temperature for the best quality fruits.

Mature pear trees produce a lot of fruit in a short window of time. Be prepared!

To store pears, pick them when they are fully grown but still very hard. You can keep them in the refrigerator; they should last for about 1 week. You can also keep them in containers in a cool (about 40°F), dark place; they should keep for 1 to 2 months.

You can also can the pears for longer storage." -almanac

Then once you ahve done this they you just go up to a women and talk to her. Boom your pair and talking to women problem solved.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-10T17:10:51+00:00

You can't get rejected if your objective is not o find out whether they are interesting!

Title	How do I grow a pair and start talking to girls?
Author	EricH4753
Upvotes	18
Comments	22
Date	December 10, 2021 3:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rdb57s/how_do_i_grow_a_pair_and_start_talking_to_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-grow-a-pair-and-start-talking-to-girls.1270998 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270998

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