[deleted by user]

ld20r · 2021-10-07T09:17:15+00:00

Watch and study people with strong personalities. Listen to podcasts, look up stand up comedy, study how people entertain and converse and take what they are doing and incorporate it into your life.

“Good artists borrow, great artists steal”

whatisthisaboutagain · 2021-10-07T11:19:08+00:00

Number one would be having social skills, there's a ton of material on the internet you can read/watch on how to converse/act around people, what kind of body language you should and shouldn't use in different situations, how to make other people around you laugh, feel confident and of value, how to give compliments without looking like a creep,...of course, the easiest way to get social skills is by actually being social and practicing, try to talk to as many people as you can, whether it be in person or through text.

Second, you should have a purpose in life, something you strive for, have goals and actively try to accomplish them, being good at something will naturally give you confidence and character, doesn't matter if you're a fast food restaurant manager, a programer at a tech company or a musician, purpose is purpose and what matters is that you're self actualizing.

Third, hobbies and interests, find something you like to do, it will broaden your horizons mentally (you'll have more knowledge about more stuff giving you the ability to converse about more topics) and socially (you'll sooner or later meet new people who like doing the same thing).

And I'll add this, since I think this fits here: social status and confidence are the most attractive things a man can have, no matter his height/body type/looks, a lot of people like to believe that women are attracted to money, but in reality it just so happens that money is usually a product of social status, having some kind of social status means a person is good at something which gives them confidence.

It really all boils down to confidence and social skills to keep interactions going smoothly.

Note: I realize this is simplified, there are exceptions in a lot of the cases (for instance, being extremely good looking means you can have less social status for the same results, etc) but I could write up 3 A4 pages if I tried to explain absolutely everything.

Edit: Nice username, I love The Office!

protecj · 2021-10-07T09:35:52+00:00

Short/tall/fat/skinny everyone needs to put more effort in his personality development. You have to non stop work on improving. The moment you stop growing is the day you start dieing

Megadeath_Dollar · 2021-10-07T15:57:12+00:00

I’m tall, but as a teen I was extremely bullied everyday, to the point where I became antisocial and wouldn’t talk much unless I had to- to stop the bullies from saying anything.

Because of this I had pretty well no personality when I graduated, it took me 4-5 years to build myself up, working on myself and my personality.

Become the person you want to be.

I wanted people to like taking to me.

I wanted people to want to be around me.

I wanted to be invited to activities etc.

So I looked at the people around that I knew were these things, I took the best featured they had and worked on copying that.

I learned how to become good at conversations, people (generally 90% of them) LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES. So I learned how to ask questions or word things in a way that allows them to talk about or explain things.

(Be careful you don’t ask too many straight up questions, people like to talk but don’t like to be “interrogated”)

I learned how to casually compliment, find small things, like one that never fails is when someone is talking passionately, smile a little, if they ask about it- or if they pause - mention it’s nice to see you talk passionately about something.

(If they say they aren’t- oh ok, sorry you just seemed passionate about ______)

(Though if they’re complaining or whining about something, just listen, nod when it seems right, if they are upset confirm that whatever they are upset about is valid and support them, they want to confirm they are right to feel the way they do.)

Look up a lot of jokes, pun etc. (Clean ones preferred) it will take you quite awhile to remember ones, don’t try to pull out your phone and read them to someone, take the time to reread jokes and puns and store them in your memory so when an opportunity presents itself you can tell them a joke or pun. This one is very situational and takes a lot of time.

BE KIND, huge factor, but also NOT TOO KIND. What this means is overall be kind, but don’t be some super nice person all the time. People don’t like that and see through it. Be nice, be kind to others, treat them with respect. But don’t be afraid to tease or joke with someone. This is the hardest to master, when talking and getting to know people, you can ask questions and talk with them, find out things about them, and actually remember things, if you end up knowing something they’re embarrassed about or made them feel awkward, you can occasionally LIGHTLY, tease them about it IF AND ONLY IF it can be worked into a conversation (like an play on words ) and look over at them to see if they make the connection- playfully smile, if they call you an asshole or jerk, apologize immediately, be sincere and say something like “sorry I’m an ass, I saw the opportunity and took it”

Then immediately change the subject away or just carry on but don’t tease them again for awhile.

Now obviously this is subject specific, you can’t make fun of some things, like weight loss, deaths. Pregnancy is very touching and you need to know them well (some people have had miscarriages or still births and if you don’t know them well that can ruin their whole week and cause them to hate you)

Know your crowd/people and play what you can. If you don’t know them don’t tease them.

As for being invited to places or things. Be social- but not ridiculously. And that comes from being good at talking- and good at listening. Being energetic if needed, but not being some wild crazy party anima that people regret bringing.

It’s very difficult overall, I kind of picture some things like a video game where the NPC’s are very judgmental and you have to be what they want in order to blend in and be welcomed by them.

Levelling up your talking and listening, joking around are all skills you work on and increase over time.

And I mean regardless of your height. Sex, fingering, giving oral, etc. Those are all Skills that you can work on and level up too. Girls want to be with guys again if they were good in bed.

That’s how I’ve always seen it, so I spent years actively reading and learning everything people wrote about sex and the body. Then it becomes a matter of experimenting and discovering what a person does and doesn’t like, taking about it helps but some people just don’t know.

Do they enjoy it when I drag my nails up softly up their leg or back during sex or foreplay? If they enjoyed it, or seemed to respond well to it, let’s do it again a little harder etc.

Tongue game? Do they enjoy up and down? Left to right? Circles? Ask them, if they don’t know, go up and down, or circles (left snd right is rarer) ask them afterwards if they have a preference. PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR BODY. Read them like a difficult to read book.

Honestly it’s a difficult thing. All of it, but you don’t just give up because it’s difficult. You slowly work at it, over time. Don’t get frustrated. Just keep working at it. Then one day it doesn’t seem so hard. Then suddenly it seems natural, and you look back and can laugh at how you used to be, admire how far you’ve come. And never think you’re done learning or growing. There’s always room for improvement.

Good luck.

XtraSaucyy · 2021-10-07T12:03:51+00:00

I think it also matters on your goals with women. And in life. You can listen to any podcast. Any comedian any hobby any anything but if the people you want in your life don’t necessarily agree or participate or understand it then it wouldn’t make it better for anyone.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-07T11:25:02+00:00

Hey, are you a short guy by any chance, because I'm not sure if you mentioned whether you are short in your post? Just want to make sure.

Look, guys really don't understand what women mean by personality. It's not about being the funny engaging guy, although having a sense of humor is big. It's not about having a ton of interests and being able to discuss the latest Netflix show. Personality = having confidence and high self esteem/worth.

Most guys struggling with women have a negative view of themselves (I'm a short loser who would want me?), they interpret situations negatively (she rejected me because I'm short) and have a negative future outlook (I got rejected again and I will always get rejected because I'm so short).

When you mix these three factors with negativity this is a recipe for low self esteem and lack of confidence. Now why do we filter things negatively? We are all exposed tp the same reality. But every human being processes reality through their cognition (thinking). When you think about things in a certain way, you reach certain conclusions which then generate feelings. Your feelings determine your behavior.

So....what you think is what you feel. So if you think "women don't like short guys, I am short, therefore they won't like me", this will make you feel inadequate and unworthy, which will lead you to behaving with zero confidence. Essentially, your behavior will bring for the exact outcome you are afraid of which is women not being attracted to you.

So it all comes down to how you think about things. Your thought process at the moment is warped. You filter reality in a distorted way, which causes you low self esteem and lack of confidence. You need to start unwarping your thought process so you can see reality in a more neutral way.

Are all women going to be attracted to shorter men? Probably not. But the fact that you exist today in the flesh is a testament that all of your male ancestors procreated successfully other wise you wouldn't exist. So you actually have no evidence that short men are inadequate or need to work harder.

If you are interested in some resources, reach out via PM.

Little-Usual · 2021-10-07T09:24:45+00:00

This is a very vague question but I’ll tell you that short men tend to overcompensate for their lack of height and it kind of makes them nasty people without them being aware. They like to blame their lack of success on their height when in reality it’s their personality. So I would say start off with some self awareness assuming you haven’t already. Analyse the way you speak to people, do you want a love life or do you feel entitled to a partner? Because 9/10 it’s the entitlement that people aren’t attracted to

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-10-07T08:54:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AelfredRex · 2021-10-07T12:57:20+00:00

It all starts with one little question.... "Who am I?"

Take a piece of paper, make two columns on it. Head the one "Positive" and the other "Negative". Under those headings list your positive traits and your negative traits. Just doing that exercise will get you really thinking about who you are.

Once you got what you think is a comprehensive list, study it and think of ways to maximize your positives and minimize your negatives. This will help you build self-control and confidence.

Know thyself. Knowledge is power.

derpmaciaa · 2021-10-08T00:39:05+00:00

Become someone you are not. The best version of yourself whatever the fuck that means.

BackgroundPrize74 · 2021-10-08T01:19:20+00:00

Books, podcasts e palestras de todos os tipos.

Imreallytired2301 · 2021-10-08T02:23:21+00:00

Hanging out with more fun and creative people will increase your personality dont try to force a personality because then it becomes cringe and annoying, slowly hang out with the fun people and find your own personality see in what areas you lack in that other people with stronger personalities carry then work on that

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	29
Date	October 7, 2021 8:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q34na1/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1274817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274817

Comments