Due to a few requests, I will be reposting this guide on how to setup and execute the date from planning to F-close here

As always, feedback is welcome :)

DISCLAIMER:This LONG post assumes that the user has already gotten the girl's number and the day for the date has already been chosen. (There are tons of good posts already for getting up to this point especially in the sidebar so there is no need for me to rehash). This also assumes that we are doing a date out and not one that is being done at your place or hers.

DISCLAIMER 2: THIS ISN'T A COMPLETE GUIDE AND BY NO MEANS A BIBLE. THIS IS NOT SOME FORMULA TO PLUG IN. This is specifically to show you how to carry yourself on a date. Real game comes from self improvement and confidence. If you don't have confidence and a decent amount of SMV that comes from working on yourself and being a better man, then no amount of pickup or openers or tricks will work.

Last Thing to Note: This assumes an ABC (Always Be Closing) Mindset. This means that you WILL try to be fucking her on the first date.

DATE SETUP:

Find out where she lives. This is obvious. You want to plan for venues close to her place so that you can escalate easily without logistics getting in your way.

Once you find out where she lives, find an average of 3 different venues within 15 minutes of her place. Yelp is a great way for this as it allows you to find the venues that are the highest rated for an affordable price. NEVER, EVER, EVER DO RESTAURANTS AND LARGE DINNER DATES Why? Because they are expensive. Why spend a lot of money on dates when you barely even know the girl? Additionally, it becomes difficult to escalate as you will be stuck in a restaurant for at least 1-2 hours with a table separating you, preventing you from getting close to her and making her comfortable with your touch.

If you do not try to start touching her even on a very simplistic level (hand holding, high fives, etc.) within the first 1 hour, from my experience, it will become much harder to fuck her on the first date.

Once you pick 3 venues (I personally prefer 1 coffee place, 1 park and 1 bar all within walking distance to each other which is admittedly much easier to do in the city), propose the coffee date to her (as its one that is widely accepted and the easiest to get a girl to say yes to) with the other 2 being fallbacks.

ACTUAL DATE EXECUTION:

Once the date starts and she arrives, THE FIRST thing you do is hug her. Hugging has been shown to release oxytocin (the bonding chemical released between lovers after sex or between parents and their children) and is known to promote trust and good feelings between two people. The release might be small but will get you on the right track.

Start off with brief banter. It can be anything. Content doesn't matter but posture, tone of voice and general body language do. See the bottom of this post for resources on how to improve the body language as it speaks volumes to women. Women are masters of covert communication and pick up on body language very easily so good body posture showing confidence and ease is very important.

After a certain level of comfort has been reached (which can be decided by what kind of body language she has received) and assuming its been about 10-25 minutes at the coffee shop (or whatever first venue), tell her that we are going to a local park to sit and relax. Notice how I said tell her, not ask her. Be sure to keep the tone neutral light and playful and not authoritative and commanding. Some men might be opposed to telling her what to do but this is exactly what you would want to do. If she is truly opposed to it, she will voice her opinion and then you can change your plan if needed but telling her indicates to her that you are taking control. Additionally, the reason for the venue change is simple. Keeping up the conversation and getting to know the person while doing venue changes makes the woman feel like she has known you for a lot longer than the time that has actually transpired. I traditionally do coffee with a girl for some time and then venue change to the park while talking.

When you start heading to the 2nd venue (which could be a park or a bar), make sure to start adding some touching into the mix. This could easily be done by just holding out your hand for her to take when you leave the coffee shop (or any 1st venue).

For about half the date, the ratio of you talking to her talking should be about 80:20 but slowly and steadily, the ratio should be shifting over to 50:50 as she starts to open up. Many women are very shy or meek when it comes to opening up so the initial parts of the date will be mostly you talking.

Its very important for a man to be vulnerable. This is definitely different from being feminine or more like a woman. When I say vulnerable, talk about topics and open up to her on things that actually matter to you or you are passionate about. Women love men who are on a mission so talking about your ambitions and goals makes her feel like you are aiming for a goal that is bigger than just you or her and one that she can help you support and get behind. No woman wants to be saddled with a loser or one without ambition so a certain level of self-development and status in your life is an absolute necessity. For me, this is my constant adventures and travels whether its my constant trips abroad to Europe and Asia or my insane social challenges I give myself.

All this time, you should be spreading yourself out in terms of body posture and positioning. This means your legs should be spread out, not inward or behind your knees. Your hands should be spread out and preferably laying outward horizontally.

The reason for the high power pose is simple. It shows supreme confidence and indicates that you are in complete control of yourself and importantly, in a fully laid back and confident mindset which women find attractive. Even if you might not be 100% confident of the situation, studies have shown that being in confident and positive body postures invoke memories and emotions of times where you WERE confident and in control thus almost tricking your mind into becoming more confident. Be sure to be doing this while remaining close to them so you can be able to keep physically touching them (i.e touching hands, feet, hands on her lap or shoulders, etc.).

Once a certain level of rapport has been reached, you can ease up on the talking and let in some small silences where you can take your time to stare directly into her eyes or at her lips. Many men at this point find the silences awkward but seriously...why does it have to be awkward? Its awkward if you MAKE it awkward. Don't be phased by the silences. Most people including women won't be able to hold the silence so they will break it for you and in turn will start another conversation to which you can learn more about them. I tend to stare into her eyes while smiling in a state of amused mastery. Women usually get a bit self conscious and respond with an incredulous "What? Why are you staring at me?!" or "Stop looking at me!" to which you can usually respond with any small playful quip. I personally don't say much. I just smile and either continue with a different conversation or escalate. The silences after some amount of escalation will get more charged and this will allow you to go in for the kiss (assuming you haven't done it already).

When you kiss girls, be sure that YOU as the man break the kiss a bit early. This is mostly for her to be wanting more. Once you get to this stage, be sure to move your hands over her body and ass. While you are kissing her, squeezing her ass or pulling her hair down a bit or LIGHTLY squeezing her neck will turn her on and help you escalate even further.

From here, things become easy for fucking. Its just being more openly physical and escalating even further.

More escalation and getting her to want to have sex

If you have gotten to making out with her and are already getting physical, at this point you have done 90% of the legwork. The rest is to be confident and not make it awkward. A woman responds to your cues. If you are open and confident and think sex is just a way to express intimacy, then they, in turn, will be more open than if you bumble about and awkwardly go about the situation.

Women are often conditioned to be socially conservative when it comes to getting very physically intimate on the first date in what is otherwise known as the "Anti-slut defense". They don't want to seem too easy and on some level know that they lose some of their power over you when they sleep with you so quickly.

Escalating at this point is just about being confident and making her horny by slowly working your way to the more erogenous zones like her tits, ass, the inside of the her thighs near her pussy from the outside. It is important that you have a venue that affords some level of privacy (although alcohol definitely changes this a bit). Tease her as much as possible.

If there has been no resistance so far, slowly keep escalating and add to feel her up under her clothes while kissing her.

Many girls will at this point utter something along the lines of:

  • "We aren't going to have sex tonight"
  • "I am not sleeping with you now"
  • "I am normally not this physical"

Many guys might think that they have just blown it but thats exactly the opposite. They have already imagined having sex with you. If they didn't like the idea of this, they would not have brought it up to appease their own egos. They are just aware of what might happen and are adding just a small roadblock as a way to make them not feel so "easy."

DISCLAIMER: There is a difference between her vehemently being opposed to your advances and her playfully or not seriously telling you to stop. I am not advocating rape or sexual assault so it is up to you to read the situation correctly.

Dealing with Last Minute Resistance

Anyway, when a girl says things like "We aren't going to have sex tonight," you can respond any number of ways but the most straightforward approach is to just say "Ok" and ease off the touching for a few minutes. Once a few minutes have passed, re-escalate again and most likely you will break through the LMR. If not, rinse and repeat.

Sometimes some girls just won't let you escalate and for those girls, I don't waste too much time. I go cold for a bit and if they want the kissing and the intimacy to come back, they will (usually) come to you and start. If they don't, you have a choice. If the girl is interesting and you want to try to sleep with her on the next date, go for it but I usually draw the line at 2 dates. If a girl can't get to sex after 2 dates (each a couple of hours long each), then I usually next her and go for other girls.

Bringing her to your place:

By now, the girl should be horny and be ready to have sex with you. It is all just logistics and a few excuses away. This was why in the beginning of the post, I had recommended that you had picked the venues either close to your place or hers.

Any excuse will work to take her to your place no matter how idiotic:

  • "There is this amazing bottle of rum I got from the Caymans that you HAVE to try"
  • "There is a sick collection of Vinyls I want to show you"
  • "I have to show you this one movie I got from this guy on the street."

Once she agrees, you go into auto pilot and keep her close and if the walk is long, stop every so often to give her a deep kiss and/or some touching. I do this mainly to keep the goal of what is going to happen in mind as well as to not let her sex drive and general horniness fade.

Once at your place, you can use said excuse to chill on the couch or your bed and re-escalate.

Alternate: Going to her place:

The alternate to the bringing her to your place is going to hers. Same tactic, just a different idiotic excuse. You would be surprised how easy it is to get away with:

  • "I have to go to the bathroom really badly. Can I come inside to pee?"

Once inside, talk, kiss and re-escalate.

Easy tips for early physical touching BEFORE kissing (provided you have done the appropriate legwork/rapport):

  • Hold out your hand for her to take when switching venues or holding her by the shoulder while you two are walking
  • Pretend to remove a bug or dirt stuck in her hair by pulling her hair back behind her ear while caressing the sides. This can be done nonchalantly and helps her get used to your touch.
  • Holding and feeling her hands while talking. Be sure to do this while talking as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Its only awkward if you MAKE it awkward.
  • Touching her shins with your feet. Again, be sure to do this while talking and not in complete silence unless the situation calls for it.
  • Holding her hips or lightly shaking her as part of a joke or mock outrage.
  • Just be more touchy from the beginning. This just makes it SO much easier to escalate as women will naturally assume you are a more physical person.

Some things to NEVER fucking do:

  • Never ask her to pick the venue or even give her a choice. You pick the venue and plans for the night and ask her if that time and place work for her. You are, however, allowed to ask her what she is into and pick a few potential venues based on that. The reasoning is simple. YOU are the man. YOU are tasked by society as a man to be the one who takes action. Women are only hypoagents. Giving her a choice in a matter displays to a woman that you are not a man who takes charge which is not an attractive quality. I have personally heard women tell me that one of the first tests they give a man to see his qualities is how he picks his venues and how he sets up the date. The key is to make it as effortless for her as possible. All she needs to do is accept and show up.

Resources to Improve Reading Body Language (Sorry no direct youtube links due to posting rules):

Some Further Reading on Oxytocin and Physical Touching:

Edit 1: Grammer fixes.

Edit 2: Added an escalation to sex section to answer some questions