Escalating with date when I am definitely competing with other guys

WIA20XX · 2018-05-18T16:37:40+00:00

This is a dating question.
This is the seduction board.
I am not going to be gentle.

You're already fucked.

In my opinion, you fucked your chances of being her boyfriend by actively trying to be her boyfriend.

Girls live off strong emotions. If you can't get her to FEEL, you're not going to pull her either for the bang, or the boyfriend. Both laughing so hard that she snorts, and crying her eyes out.

She's not feeling anything, at least by your description, and that's because you're giving her the same ol stuff most guys feed her. If you're going to be emotionally boring, why not go with the cuter person, or the richer one?

Players don't compete with squares. These chicks only think they want that suburban life. But that's not what they lust after.

If you get another date, you're going to have to dig deep to make her feel, and when she's feeling it the most - you have two options, fuck or leave. No kissing, no holding hands. No release. No promise of anything. She has to understand what you bring to her life, and what she needs to do to get that.

Real rap, I don't think you can even wrap your mind around this because you're too deep into established ideas of what people are like, and you think that you only need to do the wrong stuff, just harder.

Beepbeepclick · 2018-05-18T16:34:22+00:00

Move on.

Lambdal7 · 2018-05-19T14:19:29+00:00

You need to sexualize already 1h into the date. However,. you need to build comfort and a real connection, make her laugh, establish a lighthearted vibe and a good amount of teasing before you can do that. Then you can say

I just need to say, your ass is really outrageous
You're really sexy today
You're such a bad girl
You're such a good girl
Don't make me angry with a smirk
Shut up.
Slap her ass when she doesn't see you (you need to say some of the above mentioned before you so that)
You know what I do with bad girls like you
Hmm I think I like you a little
You're cute

Be rough with her, be a bit degrading with her, but not too much, establish some sort of a bdsm vibe.

Everytime you pull a line like this she will test your frame and say

What, how can you say that?
You're scaring me
You're such a weirdo, haha
You only want to fuck me
Shut up or I'll slap you

You need to hold frame and be a bit amused ehen she throws these shit tests at you.

Again, make sure to have comfort and a real connection before you do these things. Once she likes you, saying these things will make her horny and make a 1st date lay possible.

If you don't do these things, you in no man's land, where she doesn't feel horny, nor attracted much and bit sure what to make of you. She'll take you on 3 dates, because she would feel guilty about rejecting you, because you're such a nice guy, but then tell you it won't work, because she realizes she is easting your and her time.

Make her think of having sex with you a lot and you pounding her. If you don't manage to do that, you already lost.

KingRuthless · 2018-05-18T20:08:42+00:00

Based on what you told us.. She is already trying to be with someone else, and keep her options open.. If you want to be only the safe option until she finds someone better (for her), then stick around..

If you still got some dignity in you, move on man..

IslanderWolf · 2018-05-18T21:58:03+00:00

There is something I didnt understand yet. Did you or did you not fucked her ? Cause I mean, I never have serious relationship talk before we had at least being involved sexualy in some way. I have a pretty strong frame when confronted with 'what do you want out of this?'. I'm always looking for the love of my life, I have to meet and make connection with multiple girls until I find her. One of the things she gotta have is being good in bed, so how can I even think of having a relationship with a girl if we did not have sex yet ? I'm no way like having long msg conversations, on a everyday basis, with a girl that I dont think about having a relationship with, and if I have not fucked her I would not know if I want a relationship with her, so she never would be taking that much time in my life.

So analyzing what you showed us, it looks like you are playing the boyfriend but do not want serious relationship. So she is having a hard time trusting you, cause in her mind you just want pussy but are playing the boyfriend, so it is not congruent.

It not like the girl would not fuck a guy she felt a strong connection with just because the guy doesnt want to commit. It is not like girls go around connecting with guys everyday. The pretty ones do get hit on a lot, but it is not 'connection'. And it seems like you two really connected, like a 12hour date is something I never did if I had not I had fucked her yet. So I think you should've already being fucking her.

Getting back on topic, the way the girl tries to find out if you are congruent is by feeling you, it is not like she will use reason to do that.

I don't like the 'I'm not looking for a LTR' frame or 'I just want to hook up', cause you might weed girls out. Internalize something like a 'I want to get to know different people and make connections with them' frame if you just want to hook up. If you are not looking for a LTR you can use something along the lines of what I told I use to myself like 'Im trying to find the love of my life, I know she is out there so I have to put myself out there to get to know people until I find her.'

I know it sound too inner gamish, but I believe that if you have a strong frame and live it congruently it will make girls feel a lot more confortable around you, and they will feel like they are feeling the real you, and not some avatar you impersonate just to get pussy.

TalulaRouge · 2018-05-19T01:02:49+00:00

"How does one become the** only option on the next* date(s)***? "

A suggestion -- caveat emptor, I don't know what this lady is like, so depending on her issues, this might have no effect at all, but this is what would make me, as a lady, respond positively to you. You have to attract her, and get her to pursue you. That said -- you really want to seduce a lady who has this much baggage? A fling sounds more desirable, given her hand-wringing, but this is your game ...

Invite her out to meet you with some of your friends. Tell her it's not a date per se, you just would genuinely like to spend some time with her, no expectations. Make it clear that funny business isn't on the table. When you introduce her, say she is your friend. Not girlfriend. Just friend.

(Maybe even make this event-centered, so there is something fun/different that has everyone's attention -- especially yours. This is critical. You want to put her in a position where she feels compelled to compete for you, and you will do this by showing her a fun time surrounded by other people who do have your attention. You need to appear both warm and receptive, but indifferent as to whether or not you go home with her that night.). Interact with her, but keep physical contact to a minimum. Don't be cold, but don't appear to be actively seducing her. You're going to have to strike a weird balance between being fun and generous and making sure she's having a good time, while also kind of being just out of reach from her. Ever tease a cat with a lure? This is what you're doing.

Don't just try to show her a grand time -- also give your friends a grand time, as well.

You'll accomplish several things with this: you'll show her you're indifferent to a sexual outcome. This helps remove any suspicion of ulterior motive -- i.e. "omg he's only after me because he wants to fuck me" -- it puts her in a superior position, removes doubt.

Next, you'll show her how you treat your friends, and how much fun they have with you, as well as introducing her. This is meant to stir desire, because if you do this right, your friends want to spend time with you and be around her -- she's going to want to compete if she has warm feelings for you at all. Plus, this will show a certain kind of investment you're making in her, even though you've revealed you're not concerned about sex.

If you intend to her kiss her at the end of the night, ask permission -- which, by the way, can be much hotter than guys realize -- but just leave it at a kiss. Tell her you had a great time, maybe we can do this again, and make sure you initiate leaving. Now the ball is in her court. Let her contact you. If she doesn't, it's her loss.

If all this seems like a lot of work -- find a different lady. Because her hangups are going to require work, and if you're also interested in an LTR, this is just the beginning of her hangups. You're only 3 dates in and she's projecting the Men Of Butthurts Past onto you. If she can't get past that, it will always be you, her, and all these other guys in bed with you. Good luck!

Title	Escalating with date when I am definitely competing with other guys
Author	RobbieGarrett
Upvotes	8
Comments	36
Date	May 18, 2018 4:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8keayo/escalating_with_date_when_i_am_definitely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/escalating-with-date-when-i-am-definitely.1446821 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446821

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