Be yourself

Hubblenobbin · 2020-01-20T03:22:48+00:00

I used to think that, and there's some truth to it. Be unapologetic about who you are and assume she's the one who should be chasing your approval.

That said, it's possible to have interests that are uncool. If most of your social life is caught up in Magic the Gathering, your lifestyle isn't going to be appealing or impressive to most stunning women. That doesn't mean lie about yourself or brag, but you should indirectly highlight the parts of yourself that she'll be impressed by. Maybe if you're trying to have an ONS with a surf bunny don't mention you can't swim, and instead sneak in that one impressive beach story is all I'm saying.

deathray-toaster · 2020-01-20T09:38:36+00:00

I can buy this. I met a female friend yesterday and she told me: I heard you were interested in one of my kittens. And I said yes! Excitedly. And added, I would love to have a cat, because I love cats! Although I don’t have the money for it, and I’d prefer if it could go out on it’s own. And she seemed to like that I said that. I think it was because I was honest. There might be more to it. But it made me happy :)

codewizbambam · 2020-01-19T02:58:33+00:00

Well you're on the right track. Besides that, the guy who invented the whole "alpha exemplar" thing had to draw back his initial study of wolves which was based on observation. There are no real alpha-animals, but there's something we call an alpha-trait which can take many different forms. But besides that, people tell you that "be yourself" is bad advice because they want to sell you their advice. If you start following them through, you'll wear a "Tyler mask" basically (or any other PUA guru), in a sense that you hide your true character behind the theory that i.e. tyler used to figure how to do this for his own character. That, in turn, will make women bust you for being fake with them, which will trigger a red alert and they will blow you off. Your character comes first, because its what makes you attractive. Anything else (yes, also PUA techniques) come after that. If women are confronted with a "pickup robot", they will RUN. Fast. This all started because lots of guys didn't know what "be yourself" meant, because they didn't realize that the presence of an attractive women makes them wear a social mask because they were conditioned to do that from the getgo. Over time, the question more or less becomes: How attractive can the female be without you starting a masquerade? ...

GKLemon · 2020-01-19T18:39:32+00:00

The concept of "Alpha" is very misunderstood. It comes from a long line of early 2000 "PUA Seduction community" and the idea that "alpha male gets the girls."

And... to sell products, a bunch of guru branded the term "Alpha" as some kind of "fix all magic bullet" bullshit.

The fact remains that "Alphaness" will not get anyone high-quality woman because it is a mechanism in which individuals with very traumatized inner self hide behind. It is about pretending to be non-reactive and leading. While in-truth what TD and some other guru teach as "alpha" is a form of microaggression that stems from feeling "not enough" (i.e. I am not manly enough, my interest are not attractive enough, my looks are not good enough, I am not strong enough, etc.) therefore, I have to be "alpha".

In truth, high-quality women seek out authenticity and vulnerability. Both qualities alpha "fakers" do not possess or exhibit.

One may be able to get some women who are also traumatized by abusive families or relationships by exerting the "alpha" behavior. Most of this comes from attributes of trauma bonding and trauma arousal. However, these relationships are typically tumulus and inauthentic.

Someone would say "well I don't care I just want to get laid", but if to get laid instead of authentic connection is the goal..... put it in another way, the female version of this is "I don't care I just want his money and resources." How does that make you feel? If you met a girl that thinks like that and you can "smell" it, would you want to be anywhere near her?

In conclusion, if one were to be satisfied with traumatized and emotionally immature girls, sure, pretend to be alpha. It can get some limited results.

But to form an authentic human relationship with awesome people, it requires one to relly also be authentic and vulnerable with lots of introspection instead of pretending to be "alpha".

Instead of pretending to be alpha, it is entirely possible to really work on one's inner-self. Are nerds and nerdy behavior attractive? Sure, I've seen some of the most brilliant and beautiful women say and demonstrate that they are deadly attracted to "nerds". However, here is the caveat, their version of nerd is an authentic, well-groomed, well-maintained and wholesome nerd. In essence, nerding out is seen as a positive trait among most women as it demonstrates intellectual prowess, which is extremely attractive.

In the case of anime, can you explain why you love anime? What is it about it that makes you passionate about it? What's your take on it's cultural and artistic value? And how is it relatable to the woman you are conversing with?

See, people, in general, don't give a shit about what "strange" or "nerdy" hobbies you have, its how you present it. For the most part, people FAIL not because they have a nerdy hobby like "anime", or "gaming", it's because it's a GUILTY PLEASURE that they never stop to think about the real reason why they love it so much. They turn their mind off.

In this instance, it's like women telling you she fucking loves watching romantic comedy or sitcoms all the time. But when you ask why, she couldn't tell you, because it's guilty pleasure. How attractive would you find that?

It's not the content itself, it's the delivery that is a big turnoff for many girls (and guys) in general. Because people are so used to mindless consumption, they never think about why they love or are passionate about something in the first place. And if you can't figure out why you love anime or nerdy things you do, why do you think a beautiful woman will give you any time of the day because, at some point when you get comfortable, you'll forget (or never even bother to think about) why you are attracted to her or passionate about your guys' relationship too. That is unattractive.

Title	Be yourself
Author	thedudesmashes
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	January 18, 2020 8:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/eqlmjo/be_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/be-yourself.1488746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488746

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