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[–]Liberaler 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Remind yourself of the following things:
recognize that every interaction/approach comes with a learning experience
focus on creating a pleasant experience for you both, by being polite and empathic - this way even a rejection does not feel so bad. A socially calibrated guy will get almost no hard rejections.
celebrate every small success in your progress
enjoy the masculine energy, that spikes up every time you step out of your comfort zone.
enjoy the female energy, you receive in every interaction with women
over time all the things you learn about the world, about women and yourself will inevitable lead to success. You just must not give up and stay proactive.
[–]relentless_pma 5 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
These reminders are mostly to start cold approaching I think? Its a nice way to see every interaction as a learning experience. And enjoying female energy is something I never thought of.
Being so depending on the outcome makes it difficult to actualy start approaching.
Great list of things
[–]ExtremeCentrism 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Something that really helps is to have fun with the interaction as well . Don't just purely think of it as I'm just only talking to her for her number as it kind of tunnel visions you. At the end of the cold approaches are essentially ways for YOU to meet new hot women which is a fun experience. So try to frame it in a way where you are aiming to meet new people in a sense and have fun with it. It'll take stress off your mind and help your approaches just improve because of demeanor.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]relentless_pma 5 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
How do you meditate? I have read many times that meditation has great effects on the mind. I tried it a number of times but I have a hard time doing it 'right'. I think I have to start doing it daily asap because now I do it like 3 times a week for 5 minutes, so that might not be good enough. And I try to make my mind blank, but you think about stuff like your current situation.
[–]MajesticLaw4939 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In my opinion properly meditating is focusing on your physical sensations (you can 'focus' on a mantra or really anything else, but I think your body is the easiest), so you will breathe, and when you realize your mind is engaged in thinking, aka not one with the breath, then you gently bring your mind back to the breathing. Don't think "I'm breathing" just breathe, and redirect your mind to the action of breathing or other physical sensations. It's highly relaxing, all sorts of research indicates it has a ton of very positive effects. I always meditate at least a bit before hanging out with a girl. Here's a great guided meditation to get you started: Waking Up with Sam Harris - Looking for the Self (26 Minute
Sorry I'm on mobile but search that into YouTube
[–]relentless_pma1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thank you. So best starting point is to concentrate on my breath? Focus on the breath and let thoughts come and go, correct?
Having game is a process, not necessarily any one particular result. Make sure you're doing your best, if you are following a process of self improvement, and being the best you then eventually you'll get the outcomes that you want. You also sound like a relationship guy to me, not so much of a casual sex kinda guy.
You are kinda right. But to meet a girl to built a great relationship with the same process of meeting girls should be travelled I think. With some healthy casual sex along the way.
[–]BushHDSmartTV 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Learn to love just talking to women. I used to approach interactions with women like a scientist, trying to work out the exact correct thing to say. As many people have said, it's more about how you say things - less of a science and more an art.
Women want you to see how they affect you, and they want you to be intrigued by them. They want to feel desired, nervously excited, comfortable and supported. They want to be in the moment when they're around you, they have their own worries and insecurities so you need to put them at ease and they want you to be at ease.
If you're in your own head thinking of the best thing to say, you're not at ease, you're not in the moment and you're acting on your own worries and insecurities, when you're like this it makes people nervous and takes longer for them to be comfortable around you. Women want to forget about this stuff and have fun with you.
For me it really helped to start talking a lot to women I knew I wasn't going to end up romantically involved with but where you can still flirt and tease in a friendly way. This meant the chance of sex never clouded my judgement as it never entered the equation.
So I got comfortable talking to female friends and colleagues, practicing being myself and not always trying to think of good things to say. Once I developed this skill I feel more at ease with vulnerability, coping with doing something embarrassing and being around women. Once you start to let this side of you out women will notice and if they're attracted to you they make it even easier for you to act in this way, that's what they're attracted to and it's how they want you to be around them.
I knew I wasn't going to end up romantically involved with but where you can still flirt and tease in a friendly way.
Any examples how you do this with women you will not sleep with and are practicing it with?
[–]BushHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Imagine how you tease a younger sister or relative
[–]Shadow__Account 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not sure if it helps in the overall sense, but I date a lot of women at the same time, this makes me (at least come across as) less needy and also less outcome dependent because I have eggs in several baskets so to say. I always tend to have one favorite girl, so I notice with the others I automatically care less and sometimes almost not at all about the outcome anymore.
So again, not sure if this is just a trick or patch, bit at least for that purpose it works for me.
For the long term I guess we should work on being less needy and wonder what it is that we want so bad from these women (validation?) and try to find that in ourselves.
[–]relentless_pma2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Dating multiple women is creating abundance, so I am sure that will help. I do think a lot of beginners and even more advanced guys in game are not dating a lot of women at the same time. So that means there is not really abundance, do you know what I am saying.
[–]relentless_pma 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just received a Wholesome Award for this thread. Thank you stranger
[–]iron_ee 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You can only control yourself.
You only have 'full' control over yourself indeed. But still that does not help with the fact that a possible negative outcome has a bad negative inpact on someone who is outcome dependent.
[–]MK2718 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How you can become less outcome dependent by overcoming fear of rejection
[–]Tinkerdudes 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just keep doing it. You have to learn to lose. You learn to do so by losing. If you learn to lose you can chat up way more girls.
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[–]Liberaler 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ExtremeCentrism 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]MajesticLaw4939 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]MajesticLaw4939 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]BushHDSmartTV 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BushHDSmartTV 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iron_ee 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relentless_pma2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]MK2718 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tinkerdudes 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link