Did my first ever cold approach.

Marijuanomist · 2019-12-20T21:51:33+00:00

What you did was good if you're goal is to get over your own discomfort of approaching women through a little exposure-therapy. However, you will almost never get a good response from a woman if you jump right into an introduction without building some casual rapport. Most women are put off by guys hitting on them solely based on their looks. The next time you do a cold approach, try to start with light banter, or at least a conversational opener. "Whatcha reading?" "Hey I love that book!" "Shopping for someone special?"

Also, never comment on a woman's appearance right away, except maybe an article of clothing they're wearing (and even that's not ideal). Try instead to make a comment about something in your shared environment. "Hey, look at that weird painting on the wall. I can't believe someone considered that art!" This way, you don't immediately convey that you were checking them out. If it's not a comment you would make to a guy, then don't make it to a woman when opening. You can build sexual tension later, after you've created a genuine interaction. Good luck!

qualityyoucantaste · 2019-12-20T21:22:04+00:00

you did fine. you wanted a connection and left her with respect. it doesn’t sound creepy unless you keep doing it. 😆

Xazax310 · 2019-12-20T23:12:33+00:00

If I could tell you have the stories of the cold approaches I’ve done where it was weird or stupid. It’s 50/50 and it’s a growth/skill set thing also if your attractive or not. I’ve approached women and probably creep them out or wasn’t direct with my intentions. I’ve directly approached women the way you did and gotten a phone number.

You did the first and hardest step. Don’t beat yourself up over it. That was courage my man. Keep on it.

steezout · 2019-12-20T21:42:30+00:00

Move on to the next one. You are normal bro and not a creep. Just because you like women doesn’t make you a creep, if someone says so then THEY’RE the creep. Screw what the white knights and players haters think. As well as women too. Start hitting the gym too if you need to and self improve. Hit the weights and start with basics dips, pull-ups, and push-ups.

Torwulfer · 2019-12-21T11:49:35+00:00

Great job approaching. Keep it up and eventually you will succeed. Nothing creepy about your approach, what would have been creepy is if you had just stared at her and not approached. Or not taken no for an answer.

I personally find day game more successful with a less direct approach. Being super direct works better for night game but it scares a lot of girls in a more reserved daytime setting.

Start off with some innocent conversations about innocent topics, maybe some safe banter, and then build up from there. Dropping subtle bait about yourself (without humblebragging) while genuinely engaging the conversation, until she starts to escalate it to more personal questions. Then its safe to say she's interested and you can go for the number.

currysoslutavuk · 2019-12-21T17:34:12+00:00

No actually u gonna be better at that by the time. Just keep working on it.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-22T23:46:38+00:00

After about 3 minutes of pretending to look at books I walked up to her and said,”Excuse me, I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself, I’m ______.” She immediately looked uncomfortable.....

This type of opening comes with a lot of inherent qualities that work against you immediately. One of the biggest issues we have in this community is that so many people push for this opening, without realizing that they are already advanced and that the reason why it can work is that they are compensating for it with really advanced game.

If you look closely at the opening it offers nothing for her. You're telling her that you think she's cute and that you wanted to talk to her. You show me that you're not observant because you're offering nothing beyond your own wants.

This opening also gives you nowhere to go. What's she going to do, say thank you for the compliment?

On the other hand, if you had focused on your observations, opened on that, and opened immediately, then it would have offered a few benefits:

Your observations will give you more relevant things to talk about that people will more care about. You're more likely to hit on something they might already be thinking about.
Opening immediately instead of hanging back and watching without talking to her, makes people uncomfortable.

Her reaction was negative and uncomfortable because your approach was inherently awkward.

.... kind of mumbled to me that it wouldn’t work out for her and that she has a boyfriend.

A lot of women out there deal with guys who really don't handle rejection well.

That's why the boyfriend excuse gets trotted out because it takes responsibility off of the girl for rejecting the guy. If she represents it as if she's rejecting him, a number of guys don't handle it well and will harass her for it.

Hopeful_Postman · 2019-12-20T22:44:23+00:00

Lmao. Next time hit her with the Chloroform in the Carpark.

Title	Did my first ever cold approach.
Author	Neat-Philosophy
Upvotes	42
Comments	21
Date	December 20, 2019 9:12 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/edg5c3/did_my_first_ever_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/did-my-first-ever-cold-approach.1486586 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486586

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