Do looks matter?

hunterpua · 2020-05-11T18:17:51+00:00

The reason there are conflicting stories on the effect of looks on a man's dating life is because most people don't realize that looks is only a single attribute among multiple attributes that determine the attractiveness of a man.

Its like when you're picking out a video game character and you have the character's stats listed. Stuff like speed, strength, intelligence etc and each item has a rating and there is also an overall rating.

Looks is only a single "stat" that contributes to your "overall rating".

The other attributes that make you attractive include, Confidence, Leadership, Things you're great at, Ambition, Social Intelligence, Social Proof and Pre-selection, and Access.

The others are pretty easy to understand but that last one simply means access to things that a woman can want. People might think that last item should be Money but money in and of itself isn't attractive to women, its what money is able to buy that is.

Money can buy access to a lot of things so it definitely helps but money isn't the only thing that gets you access to what you want, it can also be about knowing the right people or having the right knowledge or skills.

Anyway, when you understand this you will start to see how looks plays a role in your dating life.

If you're shit at everything else I just listed then you better be fucking stunning to even have any hope of having a good dating life.

The guys who argue that looks are important are either guys who are average or below average on the other things and they're not good looking but see good looking guys who are on their same level when it comes to the other things yet they do well with women.

Or they're guys who are average or below average on the other things and became good looking and once they did they noticed a sudden improvement in their dating lives.

If you understand basic math then you'll clearly see what role good looks plays.

If you're so-so when it comes to confidence, leadership and all the other stuff but you're pretty darn good looking then it can be enough to pull up your overall attractiveness.

But if you're absolutely horrible when it comes to the other things then good looks might not be able to carry you.

The good news is, looks is only one attribute.

That means you can very quickly improve how attractive you are by gradually improving multiple attributes or better yet, all of them.

If you make an improvement by just one point on all these attributes then it'll make you more attractive than improving only your looks by 5 points.

And if you're limited by your genetics when it comes to looks, which we all are, then just work on the other 7 attributes that we have way less limitations on.

An average looking, popular, rich guy who has tons of connections, is really funny and good at connecting with people, has a skill or talent he's amazing at, and who shows potential to become even more amazing will always be picked over a broke, awkward, incompetent, and lazy Abecrombie and Fitch model.

...

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lukasbo7800 · 2020-05-11T18:07:24+00:00

In my opinion, looks does matter. But not as much as some guys may think. I've seen many below average guys getting gorgeous girls. Attraction is very primal thing. Most of the guys will feel attracted to a young and healthy women who has strong indicatives of child bearing and has high procreation potentional. To put it in more simple way, most of the guys will feel attraction towards women who has big breasts, are young, healthy and has good butt to hip ratio. There's some other variantion which are based on different cultures, races, age groups, etc. But what is attractive to a women? Viewing this from a evolutionary standpoint, a strong men with wide shoulders, who is showing signs that he is able to protect himself and her from any danger, most likely would be attractive to women. Subconsciously, a men wants women who are able to bear him healthy children, whereas women wants a men who are able to protect and provide. So it's not just looks. Even if the guy is attractive but shows no signs that he's able to provide and protect his family most likely would not be attractive to women who are looking for relationship. So what are these signs of being able to protect and provide? It's confidence, decisiviness, compassion, tenderness. Looks alone is not enough to keep a good looking women in your life. She should see you as a man, who she would want go to the adventure with, who will be able to provide for her, who would make her feel safe. Of course, nowadays, some things have changed, but the basics of the attraction stayed the very same. In order to be attractive to women, you have to be in good physical and emotional shape. Think about it this way: the looks will help to get your foot in door, but your personality will get you inside.

WesleyPatterson · 2020-05-12T01:04:57+00:00

On top of the whole "looks arnt the only thing" thing, I think its also important to point out that even if you arnt super good looking, if your not putting any effort at all into your appearence (working out, taking care of your skin, etc) thats a huge turnoff for women

Evanje53 · 2020-05-11T17:40:52+00:00

i think looks, status and money all help with attraction. Just my personal opinion but of the 3 status is the most important by far which is perceived. I think looks are important but most important is just a healthy composition. I think if you have a healthy bosy composition that is basically enough to get most single women to open up to a conversation if paired with hygiene and dressed well enough.

I remember listening to dan blizarian famous on instagram. who talked about the crazy number of women he had been with saying basically that with his good physique he did pretty good with women, then he became a millionaire are things got easier, then when he got famous things really went nuts.

juat my personal opinion in regards to success with women I would take status over looks.

Goldenpanda18 · 2020-05-11T17:51:47+00:00

Looks help very much but i know guys who aren’t that good looking yet have 0 problems getting women.

yessum447 · 2020-05-11T19:07:12+00:00

Only two things that matter are looks and vibe.

Looks are what a girl feels when she looks at you, vibe is what a girl feels when she spends time with you. If you can check both of these boxes you'll get laid a ton.

Everything else is just a distraction.

recyclablebanthas · 2020-05-12T02:12:48+00:00

1

And lastly shoot in your league, if you're a 4 don't go for 7s and 8s. At least until you're consistent with 6s.

We've litigated and re-litigated the question of whether looks matter, years ago. See Rule 5.

Also, this post is potentially confusing because you kind of say looks don't matter, but then start talking about leagues and referring to a numbering system from 1-10, as if these things are universal among people, when they aren't.

2

While people have their preferences for what looks they like, there's no way to predict that without interacting with someone.

This business about leagues or thinking that your personal scale of 1-10 is shared by everyone, despite the fact that tastes vary widely, it's false.

3

The negative self-talk in our heads often latches onto the idea that looks are king, as a cognitive shortcut, because dealing with all the things we actually have control over is really daunting.

It's easier to decide that looks are the biggest factor. Then you don't have to worry about figuring the rest out.

Looks are a factor. They aren't the only factor by a long shot. End of story. asking weather looks matter is not the question. The question is what are you doing about the other things you actually more control over?

Again, see Rule 5.

Title	Do looks matter?
Author	squatch1601
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	May 11, 2020 5:27 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ghs1zw/do_looks_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-looks-matter.1495463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495463

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