How to compete for a girl?

Hmmoklolthisisfine · 2022-05-06T01:05:57+00:00

If your main contribution to conversations is to piggyback off of what other people are saying then you’ll never lead the convo. Which means you’ll continue to have the more dominant men take the girls you’re interested in.

If you become a more interesting person then you’ll have more topics to share. You want to tell stories and spark excitement in your conversations. This is easier when you’re genuinely passionate about the topic.

If you feel you already do live an interesting life that you’re able to talk about then what you are lacking is the dominant “alpha” factor. You need to stop worrying what other people think. Unless you say something outrageously out of pocket then you’re not going to offend anyone.

I’m guessing when other men come into the picture it’s easy for them to steal the conversation bc you back down and get quiet to let them talk. Which is fine to an extent, but you need to hold your ground. You don’t need to say anything to other guys so they know “this is my girl, back off” bc most dudes don’t give a fuck. & ultimately it’s the woman’s choice who she wants to be with so it doesn’t matter if the other guys knows you call dibs. What you DO need to do is take charge and lead conversations more, then women will start choosing you over the other guys more often than now.

Here’s a quick example: Last night I went out with a friend. We were talking to this group of girls. A guy was casually talking to one of the girls and I steal the conversation by saying “are you always this shy?” She laughs then pulls one of her friends over to say “omg he thinks I’m shy! Tell him I’m not! (She looks back at me) Why would you say that?” I reply “oh so you’re just this way with me?” Then we went back and forth and the other dude just stood by.

Throughout the night he would hang around her and even tried kissing her lol but she would reach back and grab my hand and pull me up to wherever she was on the dance floor. It was pretty funny tbh. Anyways since I was able to take lead in most of the conversations and shift her attention to me, I was the one who ended up getting the girl.

Same goes for you. You need to find it within yourself to be the dominant man who takes lead in situations. Sure you can still get girls in 1 on 1 scenarios but you’ll miss so many opportunities if you always let the other guys take your light. Now go get after it!

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-06T04:06:34+00:00

Don’t compete. Take your shot and if she likes you, great and if she says no, move on.

Both_Move2565 · 2022-05-06T05:45:12+00:00

So guys are amogging you mid set?

Sea_Particular_9086 · 2022-05-06T00:07:37+00:00

You‘re going in with expectations, like ”I gotta get this girl to like me, what else can I say to keep the conversation going so she likes me.“ looking at it all wrong, enjoy the moment, pause in your conversations, be interested in the other person.

Is there something of interest that a person said say “That’s interesting, tell me more about that.“ ”how did that make you feel, “really, why’s that.

Now we‘re getting some where and you have that person speaking 80% of the time. Then they say damn I’ve been talking about myself too much what about you.

Kevita24 · 2022-05-07T05:21:28+00:00

Be yourself man, If you're an "introvert" then don't try to be anything else...hangout in places you enjoy and in environments where you thrive...you probably feel like a fish out of water because you are in a sense...Just like a high energy loud mouth guy would feel awkward in a coffee shop or a "chad" would feel unintelligent and probably lower status in a group of IT nerds, you feel uncomfortable in a loud club full of extroverts...so what's your thing? what environments do you enjoy? what hobbies do you have? If you can put yourself in those environments you'll probably feel a lot more comfortable AND you will likely meet women that you have a lot more in common with any way.

Now life isn't perfect so what do you do in an uncomfortable situation where other guys are talking over you? If you sense the girls is into you and things are going well, then move the interaction to another area where you can be one on one, say "hey come with me" grab her hand and lead her somewhere, then say something like "I really enjoy talking to you, you seem really cool but I'll be completely honest this bar isn't really my scene and I was getting distracted with all that shit going on in the back round" then continue the conversation, even go for a kiss if you feel the interaction is headed in that direction...as long as you're leading and she's in your frame it doesn't really matter...when you are fully yourself and you own it, that's attractive! when you try to be someone you're not, she will sense that you aren't genuine and it will signal to her that your insecure...so embrace who you are and own it! If she says something like "not your scene?" simply say something like "Ya, I'm very laid back, I enjoy one on one conversations and I wanted to talk to you so I decided to pull you into my cave over here" just have fun with it and be loose...

Overall man just be yourself, put yourself in environments that allow you to be successful, you can meet women anywhere...I personally find it much easier to meet women I have a lot in common with when I'm out doing things I enjoy, sports, the gym, meet up groups, from there you can set up dates which is better than trying to pick up in the bar or club

PS it's a lot more "alpha" to have the mindset "I'm an introvert, if you don't like it go pound sand" over "I'm an introvert, I need to put on a song and dance to prove I'm better than these other guys" grab your balls homie! it's your frame, you lead the interactions, if you're not feeling the environment then change it! grab her hand and lead her somewhere else

rhofire · 2022-05-06T02:07:00+00:00

Often times this happens in a situation where the girl likes me and things are going the right way

What do you mean when you say "the right way?" What happens, exactly?

FairPlant8017 · 2022-05-06T23:25:05+00:00

That's what she wants you to do. Don't do it. Either she's down, or she's not down. Forget all that in-between stuff.

Pull your attention back and see if she comes to you.

SoberDragon1st · 2022-05-06T23:39:56+00:00

Don't compete

CatsOrb · 2022-05-07T00:30:48+00:00

After living so long the only questions worth asking are the RISKY ONES

Title	How to compete for a girl?
Author	squatch1601
Upvotes	16
Comments	30
Date	May 5, 2022 11:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ujaref/how_to_compete_for_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-compete-for-a-girl.1260381 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260381

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