Through my early 20s, was all about my high school sweetheart. Dated another girl, fell in love, we broke up in october. I started dating a couple months ago, had sex, but just wasn't feeling like I wanted to be super serious with her so she got pissed and told me to leave. I recently went on a vacation and had a fling with the hottest girl Ive been with so far. My buddy introduced us and told me not to get attached to her. I told him it's no problem. The problem is...I did.

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I am not sure how casual sex goes for most people, because I haven't done it much. But I wasnt expecting her to be so sweet, outside of the sex. She would whisper in my ear that shes so glad she met me, she was super vocal during sex, would always kiss me throughout the day when we went out on dates and stuff, and would call me by pet names. We would talk about our lives and deeper stuff like that. And I just had more feelings for her than "just some girl im banging". I left vacation and now dont have the same oppurtunities in my current hometown. Even before I left, this girl wanted to take a couple shirts of mine, and even txted me after I left that she found one of my other shirts in her bedroom, and that it smells like me, and that she likes that. That kind of stuff is just too intimate for me to not care about.

I just wonder if casual sex isnt even for me, or if if this is pretty common, to catch some feelings and want more of it. I kinda didn't expect all the sweet talk and things like that that make me feel attached. I am feeling now extremely lonely and depressed back home, because I miss those times, and miss not being lonely. I just drink and smoke all day after work now, basically reminiscing.