Does finding a girl get easier later in life?

cpcallen · 2013-10-17T14:17:38+00:00

I think it really depends on how you look at it: in some ways you will never have better opportunities than you do now, but in other ways things do get much easier.

For one thing, university is a great time to meet new people. You will probably never be surrounded by so many attractive women of your own age again. Sure, many will be in relationships but a lot won't be and many who arrive with a boyfriend "back home" will meet someone more interesting - or at least less long-distance. You could be that person.
On the other hand, depending on the size/demographics of your institution things might be less than ideal. For me, studying CS or engineering at a large public university while living on-campus at a small church college, where any kind of dating is presumed to be a prelude to marriage, turned out not to be a great way to get laid. (It did result in many great friendships with both men and women, though, which I believe made me much more attractive in the long run.)
University - especially third/fourth year - is, as you are finding, incredibly stressful for most people. I was a total basket case: depressed and physically ill. I was also desperate to meet someone - I thought everything would be O.K. if only I wasn't single - but the real problem was the stress. It was unbelievable how much better I felt once I no longer had all those projects and assignments hanging over me all the time!
Life post-university can be hugely better in other ways: more time, more income and more freedom to travel / pursue hobbies / devote to devote to self-improvment in ways not strictly academic/vocational.
On the other hand some people find they have a lot less free time instead. (There are some great comments in that thread, BTW.) I was lucky not to have incurred the kinds of debts that Americans often do, but I think quality of life post-university depends greatly upon one's priorities. If you're going to be super career-focused then you're naturally going to not have as much time for other things!
There are things way worse than being single at 24. For me, sure, I was unhappy about still being 'alone' (despite many great friends, male and female), but overall things were definitely looking up.
In fairness, however, being single at 24 really sucks compared to being single in your thirties. By the time I was 31 (just out of a companionable five-year relationship I lucked into) I found myself in the slightly scary position of trying to 'date' for the first time in more than a decade. Turns out that being a bit older gives you a much better sense of perspective. Having had a few years to develop one's social, domestic, relationship and sexual skills is a huge advantage, too.
Being older is in some ways a huge advantage for a man: as a student, very few older women will be interested in you, so you're more or less limited to ones your own age, but by 25 your potential age range is more like 19-27 and by 35 it's more like 24-45. (Oh, and you will get hit on by women younger than that, too, but you may find that just their being young, hot and interested isn't enough to make them interesting.)
On the other hand, making a move never gets any less scary, and rejection always stings, even if both these things are a bit easier to deal with once one has made moves, and been rejected, and found the world didn't end.
Another thing to consider is whether you want to have kids. Sure, men's biological clock doesn't tick quite as loudly as women's, but having kids requires a huge amount of energy and tolerance for sleep deprivation - things which you have an abundance of now but which you will have less of as you get older.

Mostly my advice to you would be to try to figure out what your real goals are, and to pursue those with your all, and not to stress too much about the rest. There is never enough time for everything. Maybe you really want to go to grad school, or get a job in a really competitive field, and you really need good grades. Then yeah, you're going to have to work your ass off and you're going to have as much time for stuff besides coursework. But perhaps you recognise that your real goal is to avail yourself of the opportunities that being a student offers beyond the classroom. For most degrees you don't have to have perfect grades, and after your first post-university job no employer is really going to care how you did in school provided you graduated.

2013-10-17T02:41:48+00:00

It only gets easier if you follow the core principles and take action.

After my degree is pretty much guaranteed I would then make an effort to meet girls.

That's a rationalization. Yes, you shouldn't be letting girls affect your studies; a man should always be on his "path". Still, don't find reasons to avoid taking action. It's good that you caught yourself fucking up and now you're un-fucking yourself, but if you want success with women, you still need to take action in that respect. Sure, if it's finals week, you definitely won't see me hitting the streets or anything. But you still need to take action.

It takes time. Don't forget that you HAVE improved from when you started, and by a LOT. You probably just can't notice it because it's little, tiny things that accumulate over long periods of time. When someone tries to lose weight, they won't really notice the weight loss on a day-to-day basis. But when they take a step back and look at what they've done over a long time gap, the change is significant.

So what if your friends are relationships? Are they proactively engaging in self-improvement? Besides studying for college and blah blah, chances are, they're not. But guess who is? Motherfucking YOU.

jmikolash · 2013-10-17T04:25:32+00:00

I'm 29. It does not get any easier. It's like sitting alone, trying to ride a bike with your imagination, and wondering why you can't do it.

Girls are fucking begging me with their eyes to man up and make it happen, I just haven't been able to find it in myself to do it. Whenever I've tried, they say I'm a fucking creep, when I don't they get disappointed and lose interest. I'm in a catch 22 that I haven't been able to get out of yet. Sorry for the rant just getting frustrated.

boundlesshero · 2013-10-17T02:45:46+00:00

No, it does not. But it will happen eventually. It's not about it getting any easier to find a girl, it's about when you find the right girl for you. My advice is, just be happy where you are and don't stress over finding a girl. And once you are finally happy where you are then love will find you.

or you could go screw some hookers or something...

roadywan · 2013-10-17T15:50:36+00:00

"I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks. " - Joe Cooper

Yes, it gets easier if you do right by yourself. No disrespect to the blue-collar types, but I've been on both sides of that fence. If the likelihood of you smelling like your job at the end of the day is high, you're not gonna get what you think you deserve.

Mark my words, having a good paying, high-exposure job in a corporate environment basically asking someone to funnel women directly into your lap.

joshsway · 2013-10-17T13:25:01+00:00

Generally, yes. But it depends. If you become a deadbeat loser after college, then no.

poetryrocksalot · 2013-10-17T21:20:33+00:00

You can easily get a girlfriend now in games.

Title	Does finding a girl get easier later in life?
Author	ThePUA_Baddie
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	October 17, 2013 2:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1om9du/does_finding_a_girl_get_easier_later_in_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-finding-a-girl-get-easier-later-in-life.1360089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360089

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