Hey guys, sorry for the lack of posts I’ve been very busy with school the past couple of days. So today I went out to my local uni to try and do some day game. The first girl I saw was a cute blonde and she had an interesting bag on but she was kind of far so I walked as fast as I could until I finally caught up with her at a red light. I was about a few feet next to her and I almost said something to her,( I could feel my mouth starting to open), but It was way too nerve wracking for me to say hi, and she walks away before I could Convince myself otherwise. I’ve started to practice being in the present moment more so before I could start to mentally kick myself I focused on what was happening around me as I was walking. A few minutes after I see an HB7 with a hat on looking down at her phone standing next to a store, so I stop and we make eye contact, all while this was happening I felt like my heart was gonna beat out of my chest and fall out. I didn’t want her to think I was some stalker creep so I immediately looked away as I tried to fight through this fear and say something, but the anxiety was just too much so I walked away. This same shit then happened with another Asian girl before I left because it was freezing outside.

Takeaways: I’ve started to accept the anxiety as an emotion rather than trying to get rid of it all the time, hopefully the meditation helps me get better at this It’s really hard to stay positive when all I can do is just walk around and do nothing for 30 minutes I’m starting to think that this Issue has deeper roots than just anxiety I don’t want to use alcohol as a crutch but it looks like I have no choice