Can’t get over approach anxiety

nycsedditthrowaway · 2021-01-27T06:40:55+00:00

Have you tried opening with easier stuff like time or directions?

Vvzy · 2021-01-27T08:35:14+00:00

Go in with the intention to totally fuck up! You don't need to success from the bat. Don't put the pressure on yourself to make a cool/confident/layd back impression. Bc at this point you will most likely not be able to, let's be honest. But the more you try and the more you practice, the more you will get closer to this stage of success. So go out, fuck up and come back stronger and better!

earsurgery9 · 2021-01-27T10:07:32+00:00

Some people struggle with this a lot more than others. Like a legit phobia. I imagine someone with social anxiety (seems to be fairly common nowadays!) would find it terrifying to approach a random hot young girl

Only tip I have is to not worry about the 'game' side of things too much. Lots of people do more harm than good trying to implement a pushpull and a neg and a cold read and memorising stacks and concepts etc etc - Once you embrace the fact that 'game' can't make a girl attracted to you and that's it's basically all marketing, the pressure is kind of off and it's about just waling over, saying 'hi', and seeing if she's receptive/attracted or not. Say whatever. There really are basically no rules. Knowing that can help AA to some extent

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-01-27T11:29:02+00:00

Others have mentioned it but let me give you some examples of how to do this without overthinking it. Also, we don't have to be PUA, instead go about your normal life and add to it.

Be polite to everyone. Say hi and asked the cashier how their day is going. My favorite, "almost done with your shift, its getting late" Every store cashier will get to let off for a sec and tell you, "yep in one more hour i'm heading home."
Work the nice guy all the time. Open doors for little old ladies, and women wrestling with three kids. Be nice, smile.
Start with small talk everywhere. Again in a long line, "this line is going so slow my avocados will be rotten before I get home." at the clothing store, approach any woman and say you don't know what to pick out...they love to help a lost guy with fashion.
Then just add to it. If you are a younger guy, by far your best place to approach girls your age is at the local college or university. Dont attend? No problem, ask for the registrar's office because you want to attend next semester!

Admirable_One6045 · 2021-01-27T08:25:09+00:00

What’s the worst thing that can happen a rejection? sometimes you just gotta be like fuck it, and not care you only live once why not i advise you to start working out & hop on semen retention, confidence is key write down 5 things you like about your self and 5 things you don’t like about your self, change what you can and what you can’t say it’s whatever. Start working on improving your self as a man, know your worth man if a chick rejects you she’s missing out, your the prize man.

M-DA-HAWK · 2021-01-27T10:55:13+00:00

First try talking with some random people, doesn't matter male or female. Ask for directions, time or just say hi. This will pump you up a little bit and give you confidence. Don't view girls as some other worldly creatures, they're just normal human beings. Start by saying hi or just give them a compliment and walk away. Then start actually approaching them. You will get rejected but who doesn't and you shouldn't care tbh. Maybe take a friend with you. Sooner or later you'll have to say "fuck it" and DO IT!!

improvedintimacy · 2021-01-27T12:33:22+00:00

I agree with most of the comments here. Just a mindset idea: treat it like a video game where you’re starting at Level 1 and have to gain XP to Level Up.

You’re not going to go straight to fight the Dragon. You’ll probably start picking berries, killing rats or something like that.

Same here. Just ask for the time, for directions, for advice to anyone (young, old, male, female, other, pets, etc). Cashiers, waitresses, and everyone in the service industry make for great NPCs that you can practice on, trying to get them out of their routine and make them feel seen (even if it’s just asking how their day’s going).

Just make sure that you’re not attached to an outcome. You’re not looking to GET anything (number, date, etc). You’re just looking to gain XP by getting out of your comfort zone.

So I’d say step one is to say something to strangers. Once you’re comfortable, step two would be ONE follow-up question. And you can keep building from there.

OP, what do you think? What’s your plan to move forward?

PS: You can also completely avoid approaching by joining group activities(meetups , classes, etc). Just an idea. I know that’s not what you were asking for.

Floloppi · 2021-01-27T06:44:09+00:00

Guess thats a simple case of „just do it“! No matter what, shut down your head, move your legs and move your lips and just fucking do it man! You are going to make the girl and yourself happy at the same time! Go for it bro you got this

woahceanman · 2021-01-27T05:45:22+00:00

Sometimes you just gotta say fuggit don't think just do it no balls

Shadow__Account · 2021-01-27T14:35:27+00:00

Been there, I would advise number one if you didn't already to stop watching porn. For me my anxiety was so huge that it trumped the motivational push I got from wanting women. It was like tipping scales and when I accepted my horniness and not tried to keep it under control with porn anymore and in combination with growing confidence there came a tipping point where my drive to get women got bigger than the huge anxiety/shame I had.
So the second part is to get more confident and I would recommend if you really can't get yourself to approach, to play the online dating game, get some experiences with women and build some confidence of that, besides the standard workout and work on yourself obviously to get to a point where you don't feel unworthy anymore to talk to a stranger and where you also don't care to a certain degree what a random stranger thinks of you.

Iamovert · 2021-01-27T21:16:32+00:00

I think the biggest thing is, starting off approaching is a natural skill you learn over time. It’s not going to come to you in one day from talking to 15 people. The more interactions you have with PEOPLE not just women will in return gain you success. I’ve learned this from a mentor and it’s 100% true. Yes talking about things like directions, good places to eat/ get coffee ect are all great conversation starters. Also don’t freeze when there is a pause in a conversation that is natural. They might think of something to say and it might take them a second. Also do not and I repeat do not approach a girl that is just straight up hot when learning. This will only mess with you’re head even more. You have to start off with small steps until you really start getting comfortable.

FalconVita · 2021-01-27T10:50:24+00:00

Fear is just a thought in your mind.

2021-01-28T01:16:26+00:00

Try therapy from a qualified psychologist, therapist, or psychiatrist. Somebody who specializes in treating social anxiety whether it's general or specific to a certain situation or circumstances. There are self help books on the subject by experts too. Good luck! All the best! Be safe!

Title	Can’t get over approach anxiety
Author	infinity1567
Upvotes	40
Comments	21
Date	January 27, 2021 5:37 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/l5xgld/cant_get_over_approach_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-get-over-approach-anxiety.1508987 https://theredarchive.com/post/1508987

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