Fixed inner game but still struggling on dates

catniagara · 2022-07-07T12:06:35+00:00

You’re really young, and a lot of girls in the age group you’ll be dating (18-25 I’m assuming) are also still virgins or have very little experience. Don’t worry about missing your chance with girls who are just running around with everyone. It’s probably more the dating site problem. A lot of guys from dating sites are creeps so any time you go on a date from one you’re fighting the stigma. Girls also get so many responses on those sites that you’re basically entering the Mr. America contest just to get the date.

So, you obviously have a lot going for you since you’re getting the dates. Here’s what actually works on girls your age.

Tell them you’re inexperienced/have never had sex before. A lot of girls would love the chance to be in the drivers seat and teach you things. We have this idea that guys have tons of experience so it can be fun to find an actual virgin in the wild.

Show your interest in a flirty way, but don’t be gross or weird. Say “god, you’re so beautiful and I’d really love to kiss you” but do not say “hey we gonna fuck or what”

Read a romance novel. Study that guy.

Join a club on campus. When I was in school the easiest ways to get laid were joining the school paper, volunteering to paint sets for the theatre club, and anything else that puts you in close proximity to other people doing a task for a long period of time. The hardest clubs to join if you want to get laid are board game and science clubs.

Go to spring break. Bring beads.

Go to events and parties on campus, especially if they’re held in the dorms.

Ask for tutoring support. I never needed help with my classes but dang those tutors are cute.

Use a fishing lure. Play soccer with your friends on the quad. Draw pictures. Play a guitar in public. The girls will come to you, and start a conversation with you. I don’t know why but the only difference between an awkward introvert and a sexy mysterious guy we all want to know…is a pencil.

Ask out the girls who flirt with you in class. The signs are touching you a lot, asking you for supplies she doesn’t actually need (when the girl with a full pencil case and a laptop asks you for a pencil, shoot your shot), laughing when you didn’t say anything funny, talking positively about you to her friends, and showing an interest in what you’re doing on a specific date. “So what are you doing Saturday?” “Going out with you, I hope.”

Use your contacts. Ask your friends who is single and who you have a shot with.

Good luck!

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-07T10:50:35+00:00

Well, you need to walk us through how you meet women and how you set things up.

Personally I'd skip the coffee dates and just go for drinks. Don't try so hard.

Second, if you are so focused on losing your virginity you are likely making sex with them the prize, which is turning women off. I'm speculating of course, but you need to lol at dates as "I here to enjoy myself and if this girl shows me she can add something to my life then I'd consider sleeping with her".

Thirdly, you are most likely not turning the conversations sexual early on. You need to start making "that's what she said" jokes without the punchline. Stuff like "Do you know what women in our town out behind their ears to attract men?" "What?" "Their ankles" and so on and so forth. If you don't make it clear that you are there to fuck, they will treat you as "just a friend".

Granny_Killa · 2022-07-07T13:18:37+00:00

I know exactly what you're doing wrong as I used to be the same but I also can't really explain it very well, you just have to snap out of 'coasting along' through the date waiting for something to happen. You have to guide the date and turn it into a DATE, not a 'dAtE' where you have a friendly chat and waste 1-2 hours of your time and the girl tells you she wasn't feeling the spark.

You need to learn flirting, so try these 2 videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCAu8a9Xckk&ab_channel=ToddVDating

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw66ddhAUhg&ab_channel=JoeDucard

As for on the actual date, I really prefer a drink at a bar which is 10-15mins away from your place. That's just what works for me - I personally don't convert very well from 'fun activities' until after I've been on a few dates and already banged the girl. But that's just me. Once you 'get' it, you can easily bring girls home at least 50% of the time from a date.

And remember girls want to fuck too. Coffee date makes it about 300% harder and you probably never see them again if you dont seal the deal on the first date these days.

2022-07-07T16:24:36+00:00

What the .... is "real confidence"!?! P.S. You don't have any....

it doesn’t seem like I get any indicators of interest on the dates

You are obviously "blind". You get reactions from girls when you make a move, i can sense you don't make any move and wait for god to send you heavenly signs....

I only see three(3) options: 1. Girl sends you signals but you have to be competent to notice them 2. You make a sexual move and the girl accepts 3. You make a sexual move and the girl tells you to fuck off verbally or non-verbally

hOmIeCoUrt · 2022-07-07T10:57:59+00:00

What works for me is authentically and deliberately cranking up the heat in conversation.

We can meet sit down, talk small talk etc get comfortable. After 30-60 minutes I'll ask a sexual question or ask if she wants to fuck (yes, eye contact smile and say "do you want to fuck me tonight" or something to this extent once you've gotten a good vibe).

Yesterday on a date we naturally got onto what our kinks were etc. Once I knew she was playing along, it was easy to move on to the next stage. Then it's about proposing the next more intimate move (preferably back to your place for drinks or a movie).

Thing that I'm learning a few years older than you is that you need to be secure in your intentions and not be embarrassed.

If you want to bang, let her know and read the response. Obviously this has to be done in a respectful, charasmatic and playful way (and for the love of God take rejection like a gentleman).

They know what we want, and largely want the same, but they want us to earn it and the first step is actually asking for it imo

AbeMax7823 · 2022-07-07T09:46:47+00:00

What kind of topics are coming up during conversation? Explore mutual interests by asking questions but try not to make it seem like a survey or an interview. Keep it light, stay away from politics/race/religion/hot buttons issues. Don’t be afraid to tease A LITTLE, a lot of girls like a little bit of a jerk behavior like maybe her change purse is tiny or how strong she is from the first handshake or hug and reference one or two times during the date (but never about her family or appearance). Gauge her reaction tho, don’t force a joke or latch on to anything too specific especially if she doesn’t laugh or fire back with a zinger of her own. Try not to ask questionnaire stuff like favorite foods/colors/music. Instead ask a few random “would you rathers” and “if you we’re making a playlist for blah blah who which 2 songs would HAVE to be on it” hope this helps. Good luck

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-07T15:51:52+00:00

Inner game doesn’t make any sense.

In terms of attracting women, sure women like confidence but that alone isn’t going to get them to want you.

Other bad advice is joining classes to pickup girls. So lame.

Real advice:

How’s your online profile/social media?

Also are you lean? If not then you need to get that figured out.

Also is your social circle outgoing and social where they can get you into parties?

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-07T22:54:09+00:00

Activity dates like the ones you’ve listed are very platonic in nature and its no surprise you haven’t found a good moment to make a move. I avoid those scenarios entirely in first dates until after we’ve already “broke the ice.” Take her to a popular bar with tables you can sit down at and have a conversation. She’s following your lead so don’t expect her to suddenly drop a bunch of signals if you aren’t being flirtatious. Try to get out of your head and let go of any outcome based expectations and just focus on getting her talking and making her laugh. The key is not to try to go from 0(fully platonic) to 100(overtly sexual) in one fell sweep. Ease into it. Hold eye contact just a little bit longer than normal. Look at her lips while shes talking. Sit a little bit closer to her. Think of an excuse to grab her hand or graze her thigh, etc. obviously don’t grab her inappropriately out of nowhere, but you’re going to have to initiate some light physical contact to escalate things. Don’t mistake being respectful for zero sexual energy. She will think you’re not interested. Its not offensive to be a man who finds her attractive, especially if she agreed to be there on a date with you.

Title	Fixed inner game but still struggling on dates
Author	Head_Economy_490
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	July 7, 2022 7:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vtcygt/fixed_inner_game_but_still_struggling_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fixed-inner-game-but-still-struggling-on-dates.1255106 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255106

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