[FR] Body Language - Help/thoughts?

frogma · 2011-02-04T04:08:04+00:00

This is why I don't look for negative body language. Let any positive body language be an invitation to escalate, and don't be thrown off by any negative body language. She may not even be aware that she's giving off negative signs. If she gives any obvious signs, you want to back off a bit, then reengage.

I had a semi-fuck-buddy who was really terrible with body language. She always looked kinda uninterested- she was a cool girl, just weird when it came to that- and I literally couldn't tell how interested she was until we were in bed fucking. Had I taken her unresponsiveness as disinterest, I would've missed out on a pretty convenient fuck buddy.

ButtonKing · 2011-02-04T05:00:59+00:00

I'll just leave this here; http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

Chimera2402 · 2011-02-04T22:30:57+00:00

Two important things about body language;

Everyone has a 'baseline' which is their normal set of actions that exhibited by other people could mean something but in this case are just how the person behaves normally. Some girls are really flirty and affectionate as a norm, some are not. Look for deviations in this baseline to gleen your information.

I.E. Is she normally fairly closed off (shy?), Has she previously been very open body language wise? Did her body language close off with a point in a conversation? (Shit test fail or some loss of rapport, I tend to call them on this change)

And don't forget you control your body language not to convey too much interest despite having some level of interest, there's nothing to say she isn't doing the same.

Secondly, any action/tell may be exactly that OR it may be for a legitimate reason. You've got the fun of figuring that one out for yourself based on each situation

I.E. Coat still on? She may be looking to leave/not stay long or she may be cold. Arms crossed? May be defensive and uninterested or again she may be cold. Rubbing/Licking/Pursing lips? Maybe she has chapped lips, maybe she's nervous (pacifying behaviour) or maybe she's thinking about kissing you.

The list goes on, to get around this try to look for clusters of similar tells and rule out other possibilities. Personally I believe studying body language and trying to use it out and out during encounters can be a double edged sword, it may help you gleen something but you'll spend a lot more time thinking if something was actually a tell distracting you from the interaction itself.

Things I tend to look for/use:

Mirroring/Pacing - Awesome fun to play with regardless of the situation though just don't be too obvious. Is a sign of rapport, not necessarily attraction and is more suited to the more 1 on 1 end of interactions over a few minutes. Great for interviews too.
Changes to the other persons 'baseline' - Did it coincide with something? / The longer you've been interacting with the person finer tune of the baseline you've got and you can look at smaller tells for meaning something (though whether what it means if of any use if another question, she could have just remembered something upsetting leading to a pacifying behaviour rather than anything to do with the interaction for example)
Stating your interest in body language - Watch as their body language closes right up (mock them for this) and more times than not they'll invite you to read your body language ("I can't, you're aware of it now and it's not natural"). Leads to fun gambit of looking at other peoples body language.

This rambled a bit but hope it helps.

Edit: Clarification/De-wall of textification

VampireSlayer · 2011-02-04T05:16:01+00:00

I have something like this happening to me in class, this girl laughs at my jokes, talks to me, and even has the option to get me to stop talking to her. But I'm only seeing negative body language, maybe she is shy.

on_the_dl · 2011-02-04T07:25:21+00:00

Maybe mirror her body language? If she's acting closed off, you too. Sit up but lean back a bit so that she has to lean in. Speak a little quietly, too. Let her get uncomfortable for the same reasons.

Maybe she'll open up and then you can mimic it until she's following you? If you're not interested in her then this is the perfect girl to practice on!

alfamale · 2011-02-04T18:43:57+00:00

Maybe she kept her coat on because she was cold? This is why I say don't down the pua checklist while hanging with a chick as that will be distracting you when you should be in a zone. Body language is only a small part of the puzzle and easily misunderstood.

Title	[FR] Body Language - Help/thoughts?
Author	ElitePUA
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	February 4, 2011 3:53 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/feyx4/fr_body_language_helpthoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-body-language-helpthoughts.1315286 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315286

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