A quick intro I am 23 years old I live in Sydney and I use magic tricks to pick up females.

So here is my little story.. Last weekend I met a girl at a wedding (lets call her B). So B who was seated next to me was about a hb5 on my radar it is very unusual for me to give a 5 any attention so I blame myself for the situation which unfolded. I introduced myself asked her a few questions about her career and life in general (works in retail, 25,she loves to cook blah blah blah) As the night went on so did the drinking, I started to get pretty loose and we started flirting! I pulled out a set of playing cards and told the table "get ready to see the best magic performance they have ever en-counted", I did a couple routines and told the table my magic powers needs a rest. She was very impressed with the tricks that I pulled. Dinner came out and before I knew it she was feeding me, rubbing on my leg, and telling me she makes good sandwiches.( I like a chick who can look after a man with a good sandwich). We proceeded to flirt and went outside so she could have a smoke, half way into her smoke we started hooking up, she grabbed my cock and I said we definitely needed to hang out later. It was around 9:30 and she informed me that she has to leave with her parents, as they wanted to leave so we exchanged numbers.

The next day she messaged me to see what I was upto. I told her I had the house to myself, she then asked if I wanted company, I said if she wants to come over to come. She had a dinner that night so she said she’d pop past real quick beforehand. So she arrived around 7pm, she was all dressed up with bright red lips. I let her inside and walked her around the house last stop bedroom. I told her she owed me a kiss for leaving early the night before but I wasn't going to get that thick ass lipstick all over me so I went and got some face wash and an old towel so she could wash that shit off. After she was done washing her big red lips off and didn’t look like a fucking clown we, started kissing and I started to undress her and bang!! Nipple ring!! I knew I had a freak and was excited! i proceeded to take her pants off but she pulled back and said she cant its that time of the month. So I’m thinking fuck! Anyway we continued to kiss, dry hump, and all that shit, then she gets my cock out and proceeded to suck, she was an absolute animal! She started to slap my cock on her face and took it all in, she went from rough to gentle to rough, it was the best head I have ever had! After I came all over her tits she had to go.

So everything seemed all good, we briefly chatted via texts throughout the week, and on Friday she called me and asked what I was up too. I told her I was staying in and watching the footy, she said there’s a train to my area and it leaves in 5 mins, do i want her to get on it. She put me on the spot, and I agreed, she was at mine within 35 mins. So we get inside and she starts to chat to my parents! She was acting like we are a couple I kept asking her lets go watch a movie in my room but she wouldn't leave my parents alone, eventually she came to my room. She noticed my cupboard was open and suggested to me that she wanted to clean it for me! I’m thinking in my head, "well not really I don’t exactly know you, and I don’t want you touching all my shit!" The signs started, I had myself a nutjob! She told me how much of a good wife she was going to be and so on I’m looking at her with absolute confusion. SO NOW THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS WEIRD! I asked her if she wanted to have a shower (because she had been at work all day and I wasn’t keen on having sex with anyone stinky) She replies "Yes can you please get me a pair of your undies so I can put them on my head, so my hair doesn’t get wet", I laughed and said "your joking aren’t you!?", She was fucking deadest serious! She told me she couldn’t get her hair wet. I was thinking well why not use a plastic fucking bag or some shit not my fucking undies. I ended up walking to my clean washing pile in another room confused as fuck thinking maybe she is just joking and everything will be fine! I grabbed a pair of briefs went back to my room and handed it to her hoping she would start laughing and tell me she got me! But no, she took them out of my hand and placed them on her head! I didn't know what to do she was looking at me with my undies on her fucking head… she looked stupid! She didn’t think it was a big deal and carried on to have a shower (which is in my room). She finishes her shower and walks out with my undies on!!!!! I look at her, I look at my undies on her and now I’m turned the fuck off, that shit’s unattractive as fuck, I’m thinking what’s wrong with this bitch, who the fuck wears boys undies before sex. I didn't know what to do, Id feel bad asking her to leave, but I was weirded out, so I’m thinking how the fuck do I get out of this one then, thought to myself fuck it ill just give her what she wants and this will be all over soon enough! So she gets in my bed and all I’m looking at is my undies on her body and it just looks awful, I couldn’t even get all the way hard! I ended up managing to get half barred and took my undies off her, then boom! Full barred up, had sex and finished up. I jumped in the shower come out and she put my fucking undies back on! I was in utter disbelief, so I just decided to lay stomach first naked on my bed thinking it should all be over, but no, she starts to pet my bum like a cat, telling me how cute and furry it is!! In my head I wanted to tell her WTF is your problem thats my bum hair there is nothing cute about bum hair please stop stroking it you fucking lunatic! After pulling away from her I then put some undies on. She then asked me if I could set my alarm to 6:30 a.m. so that I could drop her at the train station. I’m thinking are you fucking retarded? Tomorrow is Saturday the last thing I want to do is drive your stupid undies on head ass to the train at 6:30!! All night she kept asking my to snuggle her and I told her no I’m comfy, no I’m comfy, she got the shits and bit my fucking nipple! I jumped up and said "wtf is wrong with you, why the fuck did you bite me, that shit hurt"! She starts laughing like it was funny, then ten mins later she started to blow raspberries on my stomach, I asked her if she could please stop fucking around and just let me sleep considering I have to drive Ms. captain underpants to the fucking train station. After a while of sweet silence she then decides to pretend she was having a heart attack… I told her its probably just from my std's and to go to sleep, she wasn’t happy about that one.

The next morning my alarm goes off at 6:30 and I was excited to rid of this crazy bitch, she jumps on me and said "good morning sexy" and gave me a big wet fucking kiss. After I wiped the fucking saliva off my face with a fucking shamwow, I got out of bed and dropped her off!

I now have a stage ten clinger! fml.