FR - Day 2: “boop” close

Background: Living in Asia. Day 2 with a 22 year old (I’m in my 30s) that I had cold approached on the street last Sunday. Over text, she gave me a little shit about “why did you approach me.” I held frame and set up a day two at a cafe in an old apartment building near the river...

Body: She shows up first, but I wasn’t late either. She’s wearing a bit of lipstick. I should have taken these as more positive signs.

The cafe is up a long flight of stairs, so I was a bit sweaty out of breath and didn’t go for the hug or much physicality on the open. I really need to rethink this logistical bit when it comes to the first location during a day two.

The place is busier than I expect. I sit next to her, but I’m not sure this is always the best advice. In this particular case, the tables and chairs are all very low to the ground, and they wouldn’t have been a hindrance to physicality or deep eye contact, at least to the degree that is appropriate for a shy 22 year old Asian girl during the first 15-30 minutes of a first date. Food for thought.

Within the first 20 minutes, she tells me she doesn’t believe in love. This tells me two things. First, she has a bit of baggage. Secondly, she’s already qualified me in a romantic light (otherwise, why would she even need to vocalize this to me.)

At this point, I’m slowly stroking her hands with my fingers, she lets me so i go further, stroking her leg, then lightly holding her hand.

This cafe wasn’t clearing out, so I suggested we go for a walk by the river. Hand holding, talking. Eventually sit somewhere. Here is where some variables happened. In my own estimation. I should have been more forward at this point. Done more verbal escalation while being a bit more bold with touch, and maybe going for the kiss sooner.

Instead I let her talk. Eventually try to kiss her, she turns her head. Cool, whatever.

Walk back the direction we came. She doesn’t seem eager to go home. Sit at a different spot. She starts getting into why I approached her. I held frame. “I liked her shoes.” (Chuck taylors, I often wear them). She’s asking if I approach every girl with chuck taylors. I tell her that I do when I want to (in a few more words than that). She mentions that her friends thought I was “impolite” in the way I approached her ("impolite" is an Asian codeword for doing things that risk making her look like a slut). I, in turn, explained that me being touchy and physically forward was my form of honesty. I then contrasted it to the nice guy routine (a boring date where the guys is physically distant and then verbalizes “i like you.”).

Even though she’s falling into my frame, we’re still in a public place surrounded by people. I’ve already mentioned food and she said she wasn’t hungry. Same with grabbing a drink. Luckily, I know how to sneak to a vacant balcony nearby. Tell her something about an adventure. We go.

Take her there. It’s creepy as fuck (imagine from her perspective - alone with a guy you’ve met twice, and he takes you to an abandoned floor of a building). So obviously I’m not doing anything that would feel threatening to her.

Get to the balcony. Eventually kiss her head. Try to kiss her but she rejects it. Again, I’m totally unreactive about it.

Leave, start heading back to where we parked. On a street with no people. I just stop, say 'wait', and pull her back toward me. Go for the kiss one final time. She nearly goes for it, but pulls away at the last minute. I don’t skip a beat, continue walking, even while smiling.

Some of you might be thinking, “WTF Chairman Plow. Why would you smile if she rejected you three times?”

First of all, my goal isn’t to “get the kiss.” It’s to show up as a man, to honestly express my intent while making sure she has a good time. Mission accomplished.

Secondly, in my mind, her rejecting me is an ioi. My thinking goes like this, “she likes me so much that she’s worried about looking like a slut.” “She also likes me so much that she’s afraid of falling in love with me.” How cute.

We get to the parking spot. There are people around.

Everyone worries about their first impression. Final impressions are a thing too.

I didn’t want mine to be putting pressure on her, looking like I lack social intelligence by continuing to try to kiss her in front of people, or her rejecting me.

I did ‘make’ her give me a hug. Instead of trying to kiss her again, I did something weird.

I’ve never tried it before, and it was entirely spontaneous.

I booped her on the nose. Made the sound and everything

As you know, I think treating women like children is usually good for everyone. It’s a great frame to have in a relationship.

In this case, she absolutely loved it. I’ve rarely seen a girl light up like that. It was like a cross between a smile, giggle, and look of ease.

Parted ways. Later that night, she sent a few bubbly texts saying how much fun she had.

Conclusion: Is this good game? I don’t fucking know. Obviously, I didn't pull. And it seems like a fairly chodey end. And my logistics are less than optimal.

I’ve had a disappointed string of day 2s with virgins of a similar age, so this is me trying to calibrate to that level of prudishness.

Analysis: I’m probably prioritizing kissing way to much. I need to explore ways to amp up physical comfort and arousal in a discrete way which completely leaves kissing out of the equation.

Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to roast me or tell me where I’m fucking up.