Played a small show. FWB showed up unexpectedly. She's on the back burner and is out to get me tonight :)

Also present is HBelf (who I drunkenly made out with couple nights back) and a handful of others (room is sparse).

So this is whats up: I'm in the room balling, on stage, with a smoke machine and strobe lights, playing dancing music. This dive bar is my world-- I own it. Or at least I should have.

I know that FWB is going to ask me back to her place after. I'd rather hang with HBelf. What I fail to do is keep alpha state and make sexytimes happen on the dance floor. Instead, I do the "nice dude just wants to dance" thing and float around the room a bit.

I chat with FWB, I flirt with HBelf-- HBelf wants to hang. FWB goes to the bathroom and I make sure to ask HBelf what she's doing tonight and get her number. I was not maintaining a strong attitude here because I know I was looking around the room thinking that FWB was going to come back and be upset. I really shouldn't give a shit about her, she's just a friend. With benefits.

So right after getting the #, FWB comes back and chats me up, invites me over, I make up an excuse (there goes #1), she leaves.

HBelf is still around but I'm distracted by random friends. I'm finally cleaning up my gear when I see HBelf walk out the door and get in an SUV. There goes #2. I text her, no response. I actually laugh at myself-- it feels good to laugh at your failures. ಠ_ಠ

So I walk across the street-- a much larger show has just finished and people are coming out. I walk past a group and get direct eyes from HB9 (her 'tude pushed her over the line). The instant I didn't stop I knew I had missed the opportunity to open.

End up posting on the corner just looking like a badass, saying hi to friends. HB9 eventually just comes to me (ಠ_ಠ) with her friend and opens with:

"umm, I just wanted to tell you that I was in the ______ girls choir for three years and have the same sweatshirt"

Me:

"Bullshit, thats just an excuse to flirt with me"

With this line, I saw that look of embarrassed shock and attraction in both girls. This is new for me. This is empowering. I've been turning the tease up to 11 on girls I know (another dangerzone altogether) but with a stranger it has even more impact.

Someone that negs/teases/busts balls on a stranger is MUCH more interesting than simply being a "decent" "nice" guy. Epiphany IRL.

So I'm teasing these girls about how they're only giving me lies. Pretty soon the target is telling me that she's breast-fed all sorts of things.... her little sister, a cat, etc. I think our attraction was doing well from the point where they opened to one minute later when I hadn't remembered to get Kino started. We're standing outside on the street, there's a million ways I could have touched her--- things just didn't connect in my head.

I eventually ask if they want to help me feed cats at a friend's apt down the street. Around this time, a performer they knew came out of the venue and it was over. They went straight to him. I knew I was done. Finally touched both for the first time when I said goodnight. Those cats were actually starving.

learned:

  • that dive bar was my house, and I should have been dancing like a badass with every girl there
  • should not give a shit about FWB, I'm not dating that girl. duh.
  • should not be distracted by shit while HBelf packs up and leaves.
  • touch everyone I talk to. touch HBs more. not enough touching unless I'm getting blown out for it.