[FR] First time bringing friends into the mix. #-close, took some girls home.

redditor29198 · 2012-06-27T19:24:40+00:00

First of all, you did really good, especially if you're relatively new. I think you have real potential and you're not far off from being awesome. There's one problem you repeated several times which I'll mention later. Here's some advice.

I think you should get different friends for going out with, you want people who match your energy (doesn't have to be same amount, just compatible). Otherwise they're working against you, and you're making your own job harder. Plus boring friends make you seem more boring by association.

We say we simply didnt want any that night. She and the others (another HB7 joined them) really got into chiding us for not drinking.

I find this behavior an idiotic waste of my time and I have no patience for it, so I usually say "I'm not drinking tonight" and leave it at that. If they challenge me, I ignore it and change the subject. If they don't relent (about any stupid conversation not just this one) and I'm not that into them, I walk away and don't care anymore. If I am into them, though, I ask derisively "is this the most exciting conversation you can think of to have right now?" or some kind of variation. Usually that's enough, but again, if not, fuck it.

My presence is a big boon to their life, and rewarding their poor behavior with my continued presence is counter productive. At any one time there are hundreds of people I could be meeting and it's a huge waste of time to deal with stupid shit. Fail people early and often and that will lead you to the really worthwhile ones.

I would put my arm around her, and playfully shove her. She wasn't uncomfortable, but did not reciprocate.

We had been talking about heading back to our place but they asked to be ridden home.

and I suggested we all go in and drink some more

All of these have the common problem: you're making yourself too available and pursuing too hard. You pursue, and then if they're interested but not responding, you stop and make them do some work. This will build some escalation back and forth.

1) if they're only showing partial interest to your interest, you need to walk away and open another group. Showing them that they're not the only person in the room will help them make a choice one way or the other. Never work on maybes, work toward yes or no (not verbally, body language and behavior) and if you can't get that after a short time, move on. Otherwise you're wasting your time. Most of the time this will lead to "hey, where'd he go and why isn't he paying attention to me now? I guess I'd better put more effort into it" which is exactly what you want.

2) I would have put them in a taxi. It sounds like at this point you knew it was closed and you kept pushing hoping for a win. In my opinion, it's better to take a loss when you're struggling to regain momentum. In good game, you'll feel like the events of the night are carrying you along, not that you're dragging events forward.

3) You were making yourself too available again. Once they're not responding to you, but you think they might be interested, don't put any more energy into closing, go back to attracting. Be attractive, talk about the fun stuff you're going to do afterward (that doesn't include them), or even totally change the subject away from any kind of attraction and do it very suddenly. Talk about some of the funny shit that happened during the night. "Why isn't he pursuing me anymore?" again. Once they're suitably chasing you again, you can reward them by returning the interest again.

The pool party thing was really good, and the fact that they wanted your numbers means you were doing very well with getting them interested.

Pyro636 · 2012-06-27T23:50:06+00:00

You were at a bar, but did not want drinks. This behavior lit up as extremely weird and gave the impression you were only there to pick up girls. No way a group of guys go to a bar for fun and don't drink

Title	[FR] First time bringing friends into the mix. #-close, took some girls home.
Author	magicroot75
Upvotes	10
Comments	8
Date	June 27, 2012 6:09 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vp2qp/fr_first_time_bringing_friends_into_the_mix_close/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-first-time-bringing-friends-into-the-mix-close.1334751 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334751

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