Before I talk about anything, I have to talk about this absolutely amazing sense of calm that I am feeling. It is like a peace of mind sensation. Over the break, I was watching one of David D.'s Man Transformation series and in one of the dvds, he was talking about being present and being in what he called "the now." There is no future, only the "now" that will come later when I wake up the next day. It is a wierd concept to grasp for those who don'tget it but it clicked for me. I just suddenly became present. I suddenly (or over the course of the day), started to not give a fuck about anything. All the little fears of what my family thought about me kinda melted away. I can just be myself. My pure authentic self... and it feels amazing.

My voice sounded calm. Everything just flowed out of my mouth. Sometimes I would pause after the end of a conversation and just laugh to myself in amazement at how I am bringing up conversation.

So I am back in college and I started talking to everyone. It just felt normal to talk to them. I talked to the person next to me on the bus today and for some reason he said he could hook me up with a friend of his. He literally asked me:"Hey, what if I can hook you up with a Chinese girlfriend? I declined the offer, but I was flattered.

I went to the mall the day before to buy some new pants and I was walking from one end of the store to the other end. I just felt like asking the lady near one of the counters for directions to the store to buy pants. I also chatted with the people in the store.

Also, as I was walking to the pants section ( I was looking for some Levi's), I saw a girl working there and she was walking towards me with the whole "can I help you attitude." I spun it around and asked her to help me choose some pants and everything just played out naturally. Apparently, the Macy's that I was at did not have Levi's 511s or 521s due to small demand. I told her that I didn't know there was so much drama with jeans and she laughed.

I was basically relating with everyone that i met. I was sprinkling bits of my life into the conversation and saw where it went. I was basically giving them stuff to talk about in the conversation but it just felt natural.

The best part was when I was waiting for the bus back to campus from the mall. I was standing next to this girl who was staring through the door and just started talking to her. I noticed that she was not wearing a jacket and so I asked if she worked around here. She immediately started laughing and smiling and saying "yea I work at Hollister." I just didn't even think that she was cute. I was more curious as to where Hollister was in the store in case I come back, I can say hi again. I asked here where it was and she just went off talking. After a couple of minutes, her car came and I didnt notice. She ended it with "It was really nice talking to you." with a smile and everything. I didn't feel all joyous and fist pumping in the air. I was just surprised that she had to leave. I wanted to see where this conversation would go.

After that, I walked outside and just started talking to the random guy sitting on the bench waiting for the bus. I talked to him about the weather and everything. It was just the way it came out. Something about the way it came out of my mouth just kept the conversation rolling.

There was also a lady who was trying to sell me some lotion and I was just playing along with it. She did stop at one point and told me: "My, you speak very good english." I told her I was born here but in my head i was giving myself a small pat on the back.

My friend also noticed the way I talked. He said I sounded more refined.

I went and talked to my advisor about classes and I just had a very nice conversation with her about the things on her desk. Everything just felt so fluid.

Forgive the random spitting of thoughts in the end. It is the best way I can sum all the things that have happened to me in the past couple of days.

tl;dr - Being in the moment is fucking awesome.