Three weeks ago I'm at a local wine bar / restaurant that caters to a generally older crowd, retirees with lots of money. They have live music and good beer on tap, and it's walking distance from my apartment. So it's an easy weeknight drop-in.

I arrive to find a fairly full crowd, and live music (as expected). Two attractive women are at the bar (HB8 / HB7) and the HB8 is currently being chatted up by some older guy who has placed himself standing between HB8 and HB7 so he can talk to both. I take the seat directly next to HB8 (her back is to me).

Bartender comes around. I haven't met him before, unfortunately. I order an Arrogant Bastard (Stone Brewery). This wine bar does serve some good beer (thank goodness - I'm not the wine type). I enjoy the music, pretend to watch sports, and occasionally say something to the bartender. Otherwise I'm watching the older males (say 40-50+) take turns hitting on HB8. She is clearly entertained but not interested. One dude in particular (there with his wife, wtf) keeps coming back and chatting with HB8. Her body language is bad, she's leaning way over the bar away from him. He keeps trying to lean in and talk in her ear like it's too loud - though it's not. I watch this continue for about 20 minutes before a gap in the parade of men presents itself.

Me: <tapping HB8 on the shoulder, as her back is to me - she's angled toward her friend on the other side> "Lean any further into the bar and you'll find yourself in the bartender's lap."

Her: <swiveling 180° in her chair to face me> "What? I'm not hitting on the bartender..."

Me: "No, but you are leaning away from the older guys who keep hitting on you."

Her: <laughter> "Why is it older guys are always hitting on me?" <looks me up and down> "You don't look older..."

Several times in ear early banter I took the opportunity to comment on age disparity or older men. I can't remember exact comments, but it was working. I might have just pushed it a little too far, as at one point she said "ok, enough with the age teasing!" So I pulled back and stopped the negging at that point. Seemed she was hooked anyway, and saw me as high enough value for now.

We strike up a conversation. She is here with her friend (HB7) who recently caught her boyfriend cheating on her. The HB7 is drinking and emotional, HB8 is there to watch over her (and therefore was entertained by the parade of older men, even if she wasn't interested - it at least passed the time). I avoided interview style questions for maybe a half hour, but inevitably she wanted to know more about me (and I her). She's in her low 30's, lawyer in a specialized type of litigation (I'll REDAC the type as it may be specific enough to identify her). I'm 29. This is only the second lawyer I've dealt with. In my limited experience, lawyers tend to have two personas: one for work (logical, hard-lined, don't f with that) and one for play (wants to let loose completely, be lead, grab her hair, etc). I was certainly interacting with the fun persona. The last lawyer I dated / slept with, I accidentally triggered her serious work-personality (by going too serious with her, triggering her 'potential mate' mechanisms). Totally going to keep this one fun and casual.

I can tell that HB7 is getting a bit drunk, and when a phonecall causes her to step outside I know stuff is going down.

me: <looking at her friend across the room> "I think our time is running out here, looks like things are going to get messy for you. What's your number, we should continue this another time."

Hand her my phone, she enters her name and number. Sure enough, HB7 comes back crying. Time for electronPUA to eject (which I do). I get a hug from HB8, head home.

I text her that evening (after leaving): "electronPUA"

That was for her contact / identifying me. Then.

Me: "Let's get out sometime and have fun like it was '10 years ago'

She had mentioned that she wished she was in California 10 years earlier (in her 20's). So I was playing up the "I am fun and you should come have fun with me, we can be 20 still" vibe.

Her: ":) I'd like that. Call me."

Me: "I'm going to be leaving for Alaska on Thurs, back later in the month. I'll check in on you when I return."

Her: "Ha! If u were any other guy, my response would be, yeah right! Check in when u return, or send me pics in the meantime. Have a good trip, I'm jealous."

I'm a photographer on the side, it's a serious passion and I'm good at it. I use this often to DHV and story tell (using my iPhone). I had shown her my photos.

I left two days later for Alaska. Great trip. I could write 5-10 FRs from the experience, but the idea is daunting so it's not going to happen (my FR's are fairly detailed and verbose - as you may know by now). Bridesmaid was totally trying to sleep with me, but she was an HB6 and I really avoid that now. It's not exciting and I seriously can't perform (it's an issue, I get less tail as a result). I had a girl "hunt" me at a bar, trying to pick me up for a 3-some with her boyfriend (who bartends at another bar, where she pulled me for free shots). I wasn't game fora MMF with a guy I didn't know and a girl who was maybe HB6.5. So I ducked out when they went off to argue in a side room (thinking I didn't notice). Also had several dates with a girl from okCupid, all really great - this girl was girlfriend material. And finally I had a make out session with a girl who later told me she had a boyfriend in another city (confirmed by my friends later that night). She didn't want me to act differently really, she was open to fooling around behind her bf I think. She just wanted it to be my fault, as once I was notified and still took the lead she could wash her hands of it in her mind. I didn't full close her. I would like to say I wouldn't do that, but I think it really was more of a logistics thing. Alaska game is waaaaay different than Los Angeles game. I felt like a shark in a fish bowl up there.

One week into my trip (still in Alaska) I text HB8:

Me: "1AM photo from my father's front yard, after the wedding reception. Bride wore rubber boots during the ceremony!" I was there for a wedding, and social time. I attached the photograph in the text.

Her: "Wow! That is gorgeous! And that sounds like a fun wedding!"

Her: one hour later (I hadn't responded to the previous text) "Are you enjoying your visit so far?"

Me: "Lots of social engagements. Having a blast catching up with everybody. I'm going to be catching up on sleep some day soon, hopefully."

I didn't ask her a question, I was looking for the text session to die town. I had one more week in Alaska, I wanted radio silence (let her wonder) until I returned to LA.

The night before I flew back to LA, I called. HB8 picked up the phone, and I could tell that she was in a social environment (lots of noise). I took that as another IOI. THat she would answer the phone in an environment that seemed adverse for such things... And not just let me leave a message. The phonecall was short, I asked what she was doing the following week and when she was available. She told me she was "pretty much free all week." and to "Call when I get back."

Shortly after hanging up I checked my calendar and sent her a text:

Me: "HB8! Crazy wedding in Alaska stories, you ready? 8PM this Wed, at the <brew pub> in <location walking distance from my apt>."

HB8: "Sounds good! Can't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures! See you Wed!"

Day 1

Wednesday rolls around. I leave my apartment at 8PM and text HB8:

Me: "Walking over now, be there in 5"

I figured that a slight delay would be OK, and would set frame in a good way. Notifying her at 8PM was a precaution (didn't want her thinking I was a no-show).

She responded: "Leaving now. Sorry I'm late. I'll be there in 5."

HAH. Shoot. She 1-upped me.

I get to the brew pub and immediately open two people playing Words with Friends and order a micro brew. We banter for 5-10 minutes, at which point this really attractive woman walks in. I have to double-take to recognize HB8. She's dressed up nicer than when we first met. Yow. Heart gets beating but I play it pretty cool. I introduce HB8 to the two Words-With-Friends people, we chat for maybe 30 seconds but I can tell HB8 isn't vibing with them. So I take her to the bar, we order her a drink (bartender doesn't ask for cash, assumes we'll settle later), then I find a slightly secluded location for the two of us to sit side-by-side.

I get the impression that HB8 is a little bit out of state. She feels uncertain. So I start talking first (even though I don't want to dominate the conversation). I tell her about my Alaska trip and pull out my iPhone, start showing her photographs of the bride, groom, Alaskan seafood, and a helicopter tour of a glacier. She is full of "wow" and "beautiful" and "I'm jealous." She is leaning in to see the photos and our heads are nearly touching. But I don't want to get ahead of myself on the kino, so I hold back a bit there. Just toy with our proximity. She'll notice how close we are. Half an hour into the conversation, I've had her talking a bit more. Find out we have both been married previously, I high five her. She smiles and relaxes a bit more. Some time later I find out she likes hiking and camping, which totally surprises me. I reward her with an arm on her back and a squeeze, she leans in just a little. I tell her I like to downhill ski, she lights up and says she goes for a week long ski trip to Colorado every year. I smile and put my arm around her, she leans in a lot.

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