[FR] Reflections on a failed night

seddit_throwaway1500 · 2011-04-10T06:13:23+00:00

Happens to the best of us. I curse myself every time I leave anything at another place. And I can't count how many times friends have bailed on me. Going solo takes some serious balls so take failure with pride and prepare yourself to do it again.

telegraph_it · 2011-04-10T06:33:04+00:00

I've never started the night out solo so props to you.

2011-04-10T06:41:10+00:00

I am feeling your pain brother. I too had one shitty day.

Instead of going surfing, which i actually wanted to do a lot more, I chose to drive over to the Borders Bookstore and spend the afternoon trying to approach random people.

I was feeling good walking in, had been listening to a good and motivating mp3 on the ride over, and was on a streak of a few good days of progress. This all changed once I got inside the store. I walked over to the magazine section, half-reading and half watching for potential approaches. After waiting for about 20 minutes and making up reasons for not approaching, I began to walk around, hoping I would find someone.

I didnt even have the intention of approaching girls, just any random person. I probably walked several kilometers around that place looking for the "perfect person" to approach. That perfect person never came. I just walked and walked and walked. I wasted 2 hours of time and energy into 0 approaches. I started to feel lost after a while, which only built on itself. I ended up leaving feeling disappointed in myself.

I tried not to dwell too hard on it, because I work at a restaurant and knew there would be more opportunities to work on my social skills with people later that night. The night was going well, no different from any other ordinary night at work. THEN...I noticed a table of 2 girls, a HB7 and an HB9. I recognized the HB9 from back in highschool we had some mutual friends. I didn't 'know' her back then but she recognized me also. We talked for a few minutes about her job, my job, etc. The whole convo she was giving me good eye contact, smiling, fixing her hair, etc, IOIs for sure.

At the end of the convo, the voice went off inside my head to get her #. I froze up at that point. Started feeling even more nervous and uncomfortable. I said something really lame and weak then walked away. It was over. I was 90% sure I could have gotten this HB9s number, but I acted like a little pussy, let fear dictate my actions (slash non-actions), and didn't rise up to the occasion.

After a few good days of progress, I feel like a little bitch right now. I'm good looking, I know it, and I can't even effing get a girls phone number because I'm THAT insecure and afraid of rejection.

I need to be able to just MAKE myself do it no matter what. FML at this point AGHHHHHHH. No one to blame but myself. The fear feels like a prison. If I can't find a way to free myself of it my life is going to REALLY suck for the rest of my life.

huyvanbin · 2011-04-10T11:45:24+00:00

I was in such a funk that I really started to feel angry. Angry that my night was weak. Angry that--despite me feeling that I am the shit--I haven't been able to pick up girls offline that are as attractive as I feel I deserve.

You fell out of state. This happens to me all the time. I start out feeling like a king and after 2 hours of rejections and looks of contempt I'm angry and feeling entitled. What pisses me off is that some days I do so well and then I get a streak of shitty days where I can't even get a HB6 to smile.

I am NOT going to let it get to me.

You have to say that when it is getting to you while you are in the field not after you go home angry. I try a bit of 10 second meditation. I remember why I'm there, what I'm doing and how I'm supposed to feel.

One thing that I have found is that my inner-state is intimately related to my physical body. Have I slept enough? Am I hungry? Thirsty? Hot? Cold? If you are physically uncomfortable in some way that will be like a constant friction to your attempts to maintain state.

The other is something I hate to admit, but you need to be a little bit delusional. Despite the dozens of rejections you have to believe based on zero evidence that you are attractive. If you keep approaching with low confidence you will spiral out of control. You need to do each approach as if it is the first approach you've done after a huge win.

Nexism · 2011-04-10T13:25:33+00:00

I tried to open a two set by talking about how I didn't know anyone here

Yeah don't do that, DLV straight off. "wtf is this guy doing here alone", not the same if it's a female alone.

"who lies more girls/guys"

Careful, overused line.

She was smiley, but she put her headphones back in, essentially closing off the conversation. Whatever.

No point opening girls with headphones in, they obviously don't want to be disturbed.

At least you got out. Decent.

Title	[FR] Reflections on a failed night
Author	youonlydieonce
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	April 10, 2011 5:39 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gmkqh/fr_reflections_on_a_failed_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-reflections-on-a-failed-night.1317262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317262

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