Long time lurker here, gone from a complete retard when it comes to women, to a more confident guy, recently getting a lot of attention from women around me. I am however a complete AFC when it comes to flirting with women and showing clear signs of affection. Please seddit, help.
Last night I went out with a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks. I initially asked her out 3 weeks ago, we went out on a bar, had a nice time with good convo, but sitting across from each other I didn't manage to get in any kino. Next date was a dinner and movie at her place (she shares it with a guy, just a friend though). We had a pretty nice time, but I didn't sense or give out any flirtation whatsoever). Anyway, she seemed to really enjoy my company nonetheless and asked me out again last night. Here's what happened.
We meet outside a nice bar, go inside and get what I assume most of you guys would call a perfect spot for KINO. It's a small sofa in the corner of the room. We have a nice conversation going, but I must admit I'm still doing terrible with the KINO. I'm having a really hard time doing anything past the Incidental Class 1 (Escalation Ladder) moves. I guess I still have a problem with exposing my desire for a girl. I don't know why.
After a few drinks we go outside and she says she wants to get something more to drink. I invite her back to my place and she says yes immediately (IOI?). We walk towards a cab we see a few hundred meters away. I see she's freezing and try to hold my arm around her, but I don't get much of a response. We grab a cab and head back to my place.
We drink some beer and after a while I put on a movie which she finds hilarious. I seem however to forget that I haven't had any success with watching movies with girls the past year or so in terms of flirting/kino. Throughout the night I don't get the sense that she is very attracted to me, but then again I don't think I do a good job at showing that I'm attracted to her. We actually talk a lot about sex, but I feel clueless as to how I can turn it into a sexy conversation and not just a conversation about sex.
When the movie is over we sit in the couch talking for a while and I suddenly see that she has moved quite a lot closer to me while watching the movie and our bodies are almost touching. She goes to the bathroom and when she returns she sits down a bit further away. At this point I have completely lost all hope in myself and just want to go to bed and lie there for a few days. I say I'm tired and want to go to sleep, she says the same and she says she doesn't want to spend money on a cab and I invite her to stay in my bed. We end up talking for a while (still talking quite a lot about sex) before falling asleep without having touched at all.
When we wake up we lie in bed for two hours still talking. I try to escalate KINO but I'm such a fucking pussy it (as in so many other situations) ends up looking like i'm just accidentally touching her arm and shit.
So seddit. I manage to bring home a girl and get her in bed. I'm a pussy and show no signs of affection and I can't fucking flirt. Since she left she has sent me 3 texts and invited me over tonight.
I'm very much open for constructive criticism, especially on the whole subject of flirting and how to get past my insecurities. I would like to note that I'm an otherwise pretty funny and confident guy. I'm good looking, 23 years old with a great job and a bunch of friends. It's just that I'm hopeless when I'm faced with a girl that leaves all the hard work to me.
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