Hey /r/seddit,

This is my second field report. I'm a complete noob/rook/AFC, and I'm trying to get back in the game. I went with my buddy to a mall today to practice a bit, my goal was to get one approach in and that's it. He had to do the same. Here's how it went:

We walked past a girl at a booth, she was really cute (HB8) but had a coworker with her (HB4). We decided to skip it for now and go to another part of the mall, grabbed a snack, etc. Later on we started going back that way and I saw that she was alone. My buddy pushed me over that way so I decided it was finally time to man up and talk to her. I was nervous at all hell, and I'm certain it showed.

I went up to her, without any plan whatsoever, most likely looking nervous, desperate, and completely inexperienced. Imagine myself having that nervous/shy tone while this whole conversation takes place to get a more accurate view, the conversation is almost exact:

  • Me: Hi, how's it going?

  • Her: Good, how about yourself?

  • Me: Fine, thanks. Hey listen, I thought you were really cute so I wanted to come over and ask if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime - Note- I was so nervous during this part that I literally jumbled it all up and it sounded like one word. HeylistenIthoughyouwerereallycuteandwantedtocomeaskifyouwantedtograbcoffeesometime

  • Her (laughed a little): Haha I'm sorry I couldn't understand you. What was that?

  • Me: Haha I'm kind of nervous, sorry (shouldn't have apologized here). I thought you were cute so I wanted to come say hello.

  • Her (she sees my friend walking away and laughing a little): Oh ok. Is that your friend over there? (she was smiling so she probably thought he forced me into it b/c I was shy or something).

  • Me: Yeah, he's making me nervous haha.

  • Her: I bet, I would be too if he just started giggling and walking away! Where are you from?

  • Me: I'm from X. You?

  • Her: I'm from around here. What do you do?

  • Me: I work blah blah blah. Do you go to school around here?

  • Her: Not around here but I go to Y.

  • Me: Oh that's cool, what year are you? (asking about college)?

  • Her: I'm 22, I think that's what you're trying to ask?

  • Me: Nah I meant what year are you in college.

  • Her: Ohh I'm a freshman. I'm a single mom so I started late.

At this point she keeps getting phone calls and a customer walks over to buy a new phone

  • Her: Hey, I have to take care of a customer. If you don't have much to do you can wait around and keep talking after? Or you can come back.

  • Me: I'm actually going to go meet up with my friend really quick, but I'll stop by on the way out. Seeya. Oh by the way what's your name?

  • Her: Jess. You?

  • Me: Throw. Nice to meet you :) handshake

My friend and I go walk around a bit. He approaches a girl, asks her out, gets rejected. We decide it's time to leave so we head back her way. My friend walks the other way so he's not with me

  • Me (waved at her): Hi Jess!
  • Her (smiled at her coworker, I assume she told her about me): Hey. Whatsup?
  • Me: Nothin, we're just heading out and I wanted to say it was a pleasure to meet you and talk to you.
  • Her: Thanks, it was nice to meet you too. Hey, what happened to your friend? (explains to her coworker about how my friend was laughing and made me come talk to her or whatever)
  • Me: Haha yeah. I told him I thought you were really cute so he told me I had to talk to you (she smiled and blushed here, it was great).
  • Her coworker: That's messed up, he should have come with you!
  • Her (speaking to her coworker): Haha yeah, you should have brought him over to come hook up with my girl!
  • Me: Yeah, maybe :) he was nervous too haha.
  • Her: I bet! (there was more small talk after this but I forgot it/it wasn't significant)
  • Me: Anyways, nice to meet you again Jess. Have a good one! handshakes
  • Her: Yeah, you too! What was your name again?
  • Me: Throw. Cya around

So that's how it went. I was nervous as all hell the whole time, stuttering, hands in pockets. I did manage to hold eye contact most of the time, but that's mainly because she had really pretty eyes and I couldn't keep my eyes of them.

The main thing I learned here was that I made that girl's day a little more interesting, and got her to smile. If I hadn't gone up to her, I would have been pissed at myself, she would have continued to be bored at work, and that's one less time she would have smiled. Maybe I was a noob, maybe I crashed and burned like all hell, but I got her to smile at least four times, and I grew some balls while I was at it. Win-win.

Things I think I could have done better:

  • Took a deep breath before. I was nervous as hell, if I relaxed a bit my opener would have come off smoother, which would have dominoed through the rest of the conversation.

  • Need to be more creative with my responses to her answers.

  • I still have a hard time judging if she's interested or not by her responses. I know she was busy at work because she kept typing stuff into the computer and taking phone calls (although she did almost ignore one to finish our conv).

  • Could have had a smoother, less awkward goodbye. Also, maybe should have asked her for coffee even though I'm 99.9% sure she would have said no.

Thanks for taking the time to read that. As usual, any feedback is greatly appreciated from you guys, particularly specifics.