This is my first post on this account, and the specific purpose of it is to post records of situations that were of significance to me and what I learned from them. I find that recording down my progress and particular interactions helps me a lot, and it would also be great to get feedback from others as well. Anyways...

Recently, I've been a HUGE pussy when it came to girls. During the summer, I was in a town where I knew no one and knew that I would be gone in a couple months, so I had a lot of confidence in terms of approaching girls. However, back at university, I got into a vicious cycle of feeling inadequate compared to my peers, thinking they're all cooler than me, that I'm not good enough for girls here, etc. That, plus the stress of school, has made it really hard for me to have any hint of success with girls this semester.

Last night, I was feeling particularly depressed/lonely, so I made a vow to start stepping out of my comfort zone again. Today, after working out, I decided to go take a walk in my city's park. It was a beautiful day outside, and I was in a great mood. There was a small concert going on, and I sat in the stands for a bit. I notice three girls coming over to see the performance, so I go up to them, and ask them where they go to school. Turns out, they're just visiting the area. I chat with one of them for a little bit, before they all end up leaving for lunch. Nothing memorable about this interaction, but I already felt a lot better because that was the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone like that in a while.

Later on, while I was walking around the park, I notice a cute girl walking towards me while reading a book. As we get closer to each other, excuses start to pop up in my head -- "She's busy reading and doesn't want to be bothered" "Stop being creepy!" "People are going to see you getting rejected!". I usually succumb to these voices, but this time I told myself, "there's no FUCKING way I'm letting myself puss out of this one". Here's the following interaction:

Me: What book are you reading?

Her: ___________, heard of it before?

Me: Nope, but it seems interesting enough to make you want to read it while walking around

Her: Haha, I just don't really feel like sitting down at the moment

Me: Okay, then come with me, let's take a walk

So we walk around the park for a while and get to know each other. Turns out, she's actually a lot older than me, but we are still able to relate to each other for the most part. She later on mentions a boyfriend, but we still have a good time talking. In the end, I get her number, and tell her that I'd hit her up when me and my friends go to a certain bar that we both frequent.

Anyways, nothing too special, but today really helped me get out of the toxic mindset that I have been having for the past few weeks. I've been going through a lot of negative thought processes; that girls will think it's creepy if I go talk to them, they'll tell me to fuck off because I'm not attractive enough, etc. These interactions are helping in getting me closer to my mindset from the summer -- that meeting new people is fun AND easy, and that I am charismatic enough to create connections with people from scratch.