About a week ago, I was at a friend's party. I was kind of feeling shy that day, and wasn't really in the mood to hit on girls. Later on, I saw this really cute girl there, and I pushed myself to talk to her. I was really physical with her from the very start, holding onto her hand after shaking her hand, putting my arm around her, etc. I led her over to sit on a couch after a couple of minutes of conversation. Almost immediately, I went in for the kiss. She turned away, but gave me her number before leaving.

The next day, I decided to text her even though I didn't expect a response. We ended up texting a little, and set up a lunch date a couple days later.

We had a great time during lunch, talking for hours after we had finished our food. While we were walking back to campus, she told me that she was sorry for leaving me at the party the other day, and really had to attend to her friend that night. I decided to go in for the kiss, and we ended up making out on the sidewalk for a while. Before parting ways, I made plans with her for the weekend.

We met up and went to dinner for our next date, really hitting it off and having a great time. I then asked her to come back to my place and drink wine with me. In my room, we had a couple of drinks before getting on my bed to fool around. She wasn't down to have sex that night, so we ended up fooling around and drinking wine for hours. Later on, I took her into the city, where we explored late into the night.

The next day, we met up at a club and spent a while there with some mutual friends. She stuck with me the entire time. Later in the night, all of us went to a friend's place to pregame, before going to a house party. At first, the party was fun -- we were dancing with each other the whole time and having a great time. Towards the end of the night though, we were both cuddling on the couch drunk. Some random guy comes over, finishes his drink, and throws his empty cup onto her (I made a post about this a couple days ago). I saw what happened, but was a pussy and didn't call the guy out for that. I basically ignored what had happened.

She seemed a little upset over what had happened, and was a little distant for the rest of the night. She was all over me up until the incident. The next day, she texted me saying that we aren't clicking very well, and that we'd be better off as friends. I tell her that's okay and that I still had fun with her.

I'll admit, I'm still a little bummed about the whole situation, but I ended up learning a LOT from the week and half that I've known this girl. This was the first time I've ever been super upfront with a girl, and unafraid of expressing my sexuality. I was always pretty handsy with her, stroking her hair, holding her close, also calling her sexy and saying how hot she is. I felt super confident around her, and wasn't afraid of making any moves. This was something I had a lot of trouble with in the past; I would always feel creepy complimenting girls or touching them, and in this case, I was fully confident about it.

More importantly, I really learned the importance of being able to stand up for not only myself but also the girl I'm with. That night when the guy threw the cup at her, the douche openly disrespected my girl, and I didn't stand up for her. I basically let him walk over us, which is a pretty big deal. I don't blame her for being massively turned off by that.

This also helped me realize that in general, I'm kind of submissive with other guys. I'm always the type to be really friendly with guys I don't know, hoping I don't get on their bad side. I'm generally afraid of confrontation, and would rather avoid it than stand up for myself. Two key examples from the past stand out to me: 1) In high school, this one guy bullied me for two years and I didn't stand up to him once. I finally got him to stop annoying me by ignoring him, but not once did I tell him what he was doing was not okay, or try to defy him in any way. 2) I was in a dance circle with a guy at a club once, and was destroying him. Everyone kind of knew I was winning, so he came over and slapped me in the ass and walked away. Everyone went "Oooooh" but I just stood there not doing anything.

Even though I really liked this girl and it didn't work out with her, I'm glad I was able to get something out of this experience. This might sound a little philosophical, but maybe it wasn't meant to work out with her -- maybe this girl came into my life to teach me a specific lesson for the future. I now know that I need to learn how to stand up for myself, and not let other guys walk over me. I'm not exactly small (5'11 and 170 lbs), so I have no excuse for not standing my ground. My username is called "nomorepussingout", which applies to both guys and girls.

UPDATE: Called her today, and apologized to her for that incident and in general kind of being a dick to her (I don't think I treated her very well overall... said some pretty vulgar things to her). She said that I was fine, that she basically forgot about that incident with the guy. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship, and didn't want to continue things because it would hurt more down the line.

Overall, a little confused, because we did click very well, and she said she found me very attractive. But oh well, it was still a good learning experience.