Am I intimidating men with my intelligence and abilities? Now, I tend to be a very humble person so don't usually go around thinking I'm god's great gift to humankind but several men have told me I'm intimidating for the following reasons:

  • I'm good at everything I do and super intelligent hence bringing out everyone's complexes about their own abilities (I tend to be humble though so I never brag about anything I'm good at, but I guess my mere presence and speaking style tends to make men feel unworthy?! I have to admit though I have very good posture and when I walk into a room, everyone tends to turn to look at me or greet me)
  • I'm also good at sports and athletics. I tend to consider myself a feminine girlie-girl but I'm super health conscious and healthy and have kept fit for most of my life and despite looking quite feminine could probably take down a man twice my size in hand-to-hand combat.
  • I've been told I'm quite charismatic and charming and men are intimidated because I've only left a trail of broken hearts (this is funny because I've only been in a handful of relationships and tend to be super conservative when dating men, sometimes taking months before I decide to date a guy and put him out of the friendzone but I guess a lot of men develop crushes on me...)
  • I never return texts or messages in a timely matter (now this is true, I am a bad texter/messager. For some reason, texting doesn't really interest me unless it's making plans. A guy told me once this was a dealbreaker because he liked to text all day long to feel connected to someone LMAO! For me, texting is akin to a chore. I rather talk on the phone at a specified time every day than text lol)

So now, I've recently met a very lovely man but he's somewhat wounded due to having been in bad relationships that were purely focused on sex or women using him to pay for all their bills. He's super self conscious that he's always going to be used for money and that no one likes him for him.

He likes the fact that I'm into health and wellness and not a lifelong drug addict lol. He says I inspire him to change into a better man, but he feels like he can't open up to me because I intimidate him and he feels like he falls short from the persona he projects and suffers from imposter syndrome. I told him that was ridiculous because he is simply one of the most brilliant men I've ever met and that he's being too critical of himself. I think at this point, he doesn't trust me to open up to me because he's partially ashamed of all his addictions and vices and doesn't want me to see him in a bad light, so he reverts back to texting his numerous FWBs to get an emotional high.

I mean, I already know about all his addictions and vices so I don't understand what he could be ashamed about? I think though his primary love language is physical touch and we haven't been physically intimate yet and this might be the reason why he's feeling somewhat uncertain.

He also said he likes it when women "fight for him" as it makes him feel wanted so I'm fairly certain this is a shit test he's giving me to see if I will fight for him by him making contact with all his past FWBs lol.

I haven't said anything and have been actively avoiding this issue, but what are your thoughts?

Usually I choose men who chase after me, so I feel tenuous about this situation but I get the feeling he prefers being chased. He's super brilliant and handsome, despite that he feels he's overweight, I actually prefer his current husky build to when he had been super skinny in his teens. He also has loads of women throwing themselves at him all the time, so it's not like he's in need of female attention, but he's an empath and prefers to be with a woman he has a strong emotional connection with.

Thoughts? Should we just be platonic friends who support each other or lovers?