Game and 'the chase'

AnUnknown · 2012-05-30T17:39:15+00:00

I'm going to write this as someone who sits on both sides of the fence. As a guy who's turned off many a woman in my life by being too needy, and as a guy who's attractive enough to be pursued by many a needy woman as well. None of this stuff is near as gender-specific as the "community" likes to believe.

There's a distinct difference between chasing or indicating desire and being a puppy dog. I want to be chased. I want a girl to show interest in me, and to be interested enough to be persistent when I don't respond as positively as she might like. I want a girl who has her own value (as a person - being hot is not value), her own life, and who wants me as an individual to be a part of that life.

What I do not want is a girl who wants to tag along with everything that I do, who texts 'cause she's bored/lonely/wants validation, or who's going to define their entire lives by mine. Basically, I want to be with somebody who has their own value, not somebody who's looking to leech off of mine. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, and tbh I believe it to be a pretty universal feeling.

The difference is that when you're the first person, you have self worth regardless of the outcome. The second person is looking to somebody else to define or improve their self worth. I don't know about you, but I have enough on my plate maintaining my own self worth to bother with somebody else's.

atafies · 2012-05-30T16:42:08+00:00

One thing you'll hear a lot in the seduction community is that what girls say they want and what they feel is two very different things. The goal of this subreddit is the 'feel' part.

When you do things like naturally escalate and make them feel good, they'll already feel wanted without you declaring your love or actively trying to 'convince' them that your good enough for them(aka "Qualification").

4FF41R · 2012-05-30T17:36:42+00:00

There's a vast discrepancy between what girls say and what girls do. Sure they like to feel 'wanted' and 'chased'; but - unbeknown to them - they also like the mystery and the challenge.

seekingagirl · 2012-05-30T21:05:16+00:00

You want to convey interest without being needy. She has to feel wanted but not needed. Furthermore, she wants to feel like she's the most wanted. For most women the only way they can feel this way is for men to "chase" them, i.e., they need to see overtly conveyed interest over a period of time, through whatever obstacles. This, however, makes you beholden to her instead of it being mutal (or better, her beholden to you).

The goal of the community is to convey these ideas and feelings to women through more powerful means that still keep you the prize!

VMikeL · 2012-05-30T16:42:02+00:00

It is. But if the girl wants you, have her. This feels like another fluff question that's really about validation than it is about confusion. You've given us very little context, and your response to this, followed by her reaction is what you should be letting us know about.

Title	Game and 'the chase'
Author	rococo78
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	May 30, 2012 3:43 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uc7wt/game_and_the_chase/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/game-and-the-chase.1333422 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333422

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