This was a topic I wrestled with before being able to articulate it. What follows is a flow chart on how to be the most effective man you can be.

First, a few axioms:A strong frame and compelling emotions are capable of making you very attractive.

Often, being nonreactive is the best response to a situation(Nonreactive isn’t the same as not having powerful feelings about things or strong emotions).

When you’re truly high value and emotionally well adjusted, when you love yourself and assume attraction from others, you actually exist as more valuable than nearly anyone, and are worthy of love from ANY woman.

End axioms.

So, imagine this scenario: you're socially skilled enough to speak to attractive women and you're aware enough of sexuality to "pull" regularly and can, if you desire, have 2 to 4 new partners a month (this would be very close to meeting or exceeding the goals of most healthy, well adjusted men, especially if you are pursuing engaging emotional relationships with those partners). In PUA terms, you'd be solidly intermediate.

However, you may find that even at this level, you are not "happy" with your results. Maybe, if you became Advanced, you would be?

Because this post is about the highest levels of interaction, I am going to focus on flaws in the Advanced and World Class men, and how to avoid the emotional oversights that (partially, largely, or wholly) nullify their apparent sexual success. I call this the Fallacy of Numbers.

What if you are actually valuable enough to have all the partners you'd like, and sexually satisfied enough by them, that you no longer get even momentary satisfaction from new "numbers"?

Once you come to understand your prowess and how it relates to personal satisfaction and emotional fulfillment (hint: less than you think when you first start obsessing), you may come face to face with your inner nihilism or, almost like a voice of sanity, you will start to desire a stronger form of stimulation. Something to replace the previous high that used to come from the Numbers/Results Chase.

At this point, you may find that you’re beginning to (possibly increasingly) test the women for their emotional level. Not to sleep with them. Just to see it, so you can know them, see how intense they could be. You know the buttons to push to seduce them, comfort them, get them to trust you. You might find yourself pushing fast for these intense interactions out of self amusement. What if you’ve almost gotten bored by having the same surface conversations and repeating the same DHV stories, bored by the pull?

NOTE: if you can relate to this, here are two quick tips.

  1. Having an intense emotional connection with friends is important. Get into emotional debates with your buddies. Break things down emotionally together. This way the emotional desire for intensity and emotional impact is satisfied without using your dates for that purpose.
  2. More importantly, work on healthy, creative outlets that allow for powerful emotional expression. Don’t let the "artist" in PUA fool you. When you use game as your creative emotional outlet it is emotionally sub-optimal.

But back to our emotionally stifled Lothario, our Advanced PUA protagonist.

In these circumstances, absent a purely sexual agenda, the tendency might be to test the woman, or dominate her, or expose her to self deceit, and shatter her frame and perceptions. You’re reading her mind and know her whole life.Pause for a second. This is an intense assertive energy that men will appreciate. They will be like fuck yea bro you just shattered my shit and built me back.

However, in a dating context where the woman is self conscious (she is, even the 10s, especially the 10s, if they are into you- and if they aren’t immediately, they will be early on after you allow them to see your value) there is no NEED. This is counter productive. Part of this is because they are already on the date with you, or attracted. They really are into you more than enough if you let the date be easy for a bit and just enjoy your vibe. (Note: in a day/night game interaction these kinds of very intense and dominant interactions might be necessary at times- no hard and fast rules ever).

So back to that date, and your emotional intensity, and their energy. What’s the solution? Relax and be their daddy. No joke. Be fatherly toward them. Combine that with demonstrating sexual intent. You already see every part of them and can get them to admit it. You’ve won by being you and them being them. Don’t throw it in their face.

Here you can: seed [possibly spike sexually] and pull.

A lot of advanced guys take this lap and run it in circles ad infinitum.

I'd recommend examining your emotional machinery a bit more honestly and pause at this inflection point. On one side is the pull, lined up. On the other, the same thing, but with a rich universe of emotional mana that will strengthen and enrich you. How to take that second path?

Take a moment and think about what you want.

Appreciate where this beautiful woman is in her journey. If, after seeing that in them, you’re still attracted then tell a few fun stories.

No need to work too hard — but use strong stories with a purpose.

Let them react some.

Technically there are now optimal ways to get investment and compliance from here. I’ve always ignored that and focused on just acting on what I want and she can follow or not.

Emotions are your friend here when honestly, and judiciously, displayed; you can be a bit nerdy, passionate, angry, silly, whatever. If you’re strong it all works.

This is the time I’m having conversations with them about the kind of relationship I’m looking for. A lot of guys don’t spell this out.

If you have pretty defined views on this, it can be an intense thing to put out there and may cost you a lot of otherwise willing partners.

NOTE: When I was younger, I admit I was afraid of breaking a woman’s heart without warning her about myself, so I was overly polarizing with this conversation. I see now I would have been a lot better FOR and TO these women by not making the intense disclaimers I forced them to accept and instead done this later after I had more investment when it would cost me nothing from them and still sufficiently protect them and advise them.

Now you can lead them in the normal way. Pull. Now when you’re home be a good partner. Take time to make sure they enjoy it and you enjoy them. Use the techniques and toys, use your energy and her burgeoning attraction for you. Rock her world.

After, take a bit of time to assess if she’s worth continuing to invest in emotionally. If it’s worth it, spend a small amount of time doing very intense things for her. This can be done in brief moments.

[Eureka Moment]

Hold her, tell her the pain in her past made her who she is now, she never has to have a bad relationship again, comfort her!

These are powerful thoughts for women who over analyze everything and feel trapped in a cycle with shitty men who lie to them about caring about them just to fuck them or play nice guy and go crazy or stalk them.

A lot of Advanced and World Class men might argue that they do this. I'd agree. BUT, they almost inevitably stop here.

A lot of "Advanced game" involves exploiting the instinctual responses that arise from a woman’s lack of fulfilling emotional and sexual experiences — and many top guys will essentially limit their female relationships to precisely their terms, making it purposely non-vulnerable emotionally — its effective and it works. Women chase you. It’s GOD MODE.But it’s not the peak of full human experience, and it’s not the highest level of interactions, sexually or emotionally. These women might even love you, but what use is the love of a broken woman?

If you raise the bar for the woman, you raise your own. If you can bring your “hidden unconscious traumas” to the surface with full awareness and find true deep self love, what can you bring out of these women and how compelling would those relationships be?

It’s a similar time investment. It’s a matter of resources and skill and insight and desire.

What do you fucking want? To feel powerful and know you are?

Or actually manifest your power by MAKING a powerful impact.

The higher caliber emotionally the woman the more worthwhile this exchange becomes.

They spent a lifetime trying to find a man to experience like this, even for a moment.

You can be the alpha male in god mode she fucked and chased some OR you can be the man she remembers changing her life. Same effort. You get the same amount of sex (as much as you want).

You just get to decide to feel more (some men don’t want this — exhausted by work, emotionally stifled, needing validation over intimacy).

Hey we all have had some of the above at one time, and might still have shards of it.

But don’t kid yourself that’s not your true alpha state. Not with those shards in you.

Because in the emotionally open state you can walk up to that alpha male and open him emotionally, intellectually, and speak to his values and ambitions for himself as easily as you emotionally impact the woman. It’s the difference between being a powerful dude and making a powerful impact.

Men who make a powerful impact: no one, man or woman, is on a higher level, ever. You can only nod at those who get it and do the same. Some behaviors will even look “beta” but they won’t be. It’s because alpha is fatherly and it’s gentle too. It’s instructive stern forceful boundaried and passionate. It is damn sure dominant and self amused. But it’s also loving.Opening others this way is pimp. Once she trusts you, you have the power to implicitly alter her world view forever. You will teach her how to think and feel and see things differently and reality is literally different around you. You can choose to be shitty and Use her, or choose to be good and make the best impact possible.

Eventually when she realizes she can’t have you to herself and she wants that she will make a choice and decide to be one of your girlfriends, in which you both love or care for one another, but aren’t exclusive, but you’re enough for her, or she will move on better off.

I tell guys all the time go take their time travel. Go dig up your deep bloody lifelong guts... go shed tears from a hard and savage life in a capricious world that isn’t kind to those who care a lot and who choose to trust until they learn the hard way, or chose to use substances that numbed that up.

Moving past those negative choices and learning how to stay true to myself so that I can care and trust was something I am proud of. So I hope this post is bleach for all the blood and guts you men dig up, or we dig up together.

When you choose making a powerful impact (as opposed to just having or showing off your power — which few people have) you’ll know yourself, what you want, how to get it, and you’ll never question that based on an “environment” or a “reaction” from others.

NOTE: I remember when Saul Tee said if you’re getting poor reactions when opening, your perception of your own value isn’t high enough or being communicated effectively.

Lastly, I’ll say this: the less you genuinely care about impressing women while knowing in your head how attractive you are, almost like a damn mantra, the stronger your pull on them will be. Some women are users and they are an exception to this dynamic initially. They don’t realize they are a slave to the valuation of others and their self-worth is tied to what they can get for just being hot. You can game women like this by being “on the in crowd” and sometimes they turn into dope little helpful nice women once they have their eyes opened to see you differently from their marks.

Even "difficult, predatory women" want loving too, in fact they need it more than most, because the only time they get it it’s one sided and they are transactionally dating. This has hurt them and their ability to connect and also made them manipulative and dishonest with themselves. Up to you if you want to be fatherly to a woman like this. In my experience they will respect you for it and help you achieve your goals; they will, in other words, financially and emotionally support you and become great friends once they appreciate you. Shout out to the sugar babies...

Regardless, I hope you all get mentoring if you need it, or can take an immersion with my friends who can help you fix yourselves and learn the way. Then I hope to see how far you take it, like a ball of goodwill gradually leaving women better than we found them.

Last note: all the top guys are routinely a better experience for women than the average men, even other attractive men. This isn’t an indictment it’s more a recognition of an inflection point.