Give value without seeking approval. Can someone go more in depth on what this means?

Rhythmic · 2011-03-04T14:52:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Enthusizer · 2011-03-04T16:55:07+00:00

There are some good comments here, but I'm going touch on one thing that I think is overlooked and that is leadership and certainty.

Most people are bad at making decisions, and thus want decisions to be made for them. Hence, the popularity of both dictatorships and representative democracies. We want our leaders to be certain that they are doing the right thing, because that makes us feel certain that we made the right choice. It feels good when you have a leader that makes decisions easily and has a strong sense of certainty about those decisions, even if they're wrong.

So here's how this applies to you:

When you are interacting with people, be that leader that makes decisions quickly and has that strong sense of certainty. This provides tremendous value without seeking approval.

Example: You're with some friends and no one can decide where to go? Tell them that they are going to go to whatever place you want to go using strong body language and voice tone and then head out, expecting them to follow.

People appreciate this kind of behavior, that's why dudes that act like this get laid a lot. This may not be easy for you at first, but just practice and eventually you'll get better at it.

TofuTofu · 2011-03-04T13:06:48+00:00

This is more about an overall mentality than a behavioral pattern. If done correctly, it's manifested in almost every coming and going in your life.

I'd say you should check out The Blueprint Decoded by RSD to really understand this concept in depth. It'll be time well spent.

BLuefack · 2011-03-04T16:31:18+00:00

Sure, would love to help. It's is very simple once you understand it. First of all they are two separate things that when used together compliment each other very well, here's how:

Giving value is about contributing. Contributing adds to your social value because what ever situation you are in, you are going to help to improve it and add to the mood.

Not seeking approval is about being self validated. You do not need to look to others for their opinions about you. You are firm in who you are. This also helps to deflect any shit tests or negs that might come your way.

Combined, this means that you don't respond to any negativity that might come your way and only encourage positivite experiences for everyone.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-03-04T16:54:47+00:00

You talk of giving praise and compliments without expectation. Well, no, not really. That is a totally different subject. That idea is to avoid giving women compliments on their beauty, every chump does that, if you do it, she will treat you like a chump too. You're supposed to "elicit values" from her, she has to earn your interest by qualifying herself to you. You have probably heard the line, "beauty is common, what have you got going for you besides your looks?"

But your question is about a different matter. It is said that we should bring value to every interaction we have. If an Alpha does an approach, even if he fails, the woman is better, happier even from the brief exchange of words.

2011-03-04T20:22:50+00:00

It is simple and yet, oh-so-complex. Points of note:

Everything we need and want life, everything we hope to accomplish and do is done with, through and for people. Think on that. No one is an island unto him or herself.
I recall someone offering me 2 choices: 1) 100% of my own effort or 2) 1% of 100 people's efforts. In terms of wealth-building and helping people, it is easier to get a little from alot of people than alot from a few. This is also why in some sales professions, trust is a bigger factor the bigger the purchase/cost/investment is, which equally relates to the type of situation you are in with a woman. A kiss is a very different output than sex, depending on the woman/man.
If you give, you are saying outwardly I have more than I need, and in turn people actually want to give more. You are saying to yourself I am wealthy, I have abundance, I appreciate what I have, and thus get more, because you can manage what you do have. Do we not want to give to those that appreciate what has already been given to them?

If you compare this to someone, say a woman that receives a minor gift from you and falls head-over-heals for it, do you not want to give her more, especially if she seems give ALOT already? Compare this to the woman that is NEVER satisfied with what she has been given (even if it is alot) and demands more. Would you give to her anything more, be it time, gifts, attention or what not?

This is an easily sensed state and emotion once you tune into it. It is sensed in the giving of a random phone call, card or thank you card, email, note/letter, text, inconsequential but thoughtful item and so on.
It communicates that you are confident in who you are, while most people are not confident at all. Most people are faking and not even trying to make it. They are at the first level: Unconsciously Incompetent - they aren't even aware of themselves, or their ability to be aware of themselves and to proactively do something about it.
Giving value can be construed as being a servant leader, i.e. giving people what they need and want and confidently showing/leading them on how to get it. It means being a quiet source of strength when other people devolve into bitching, whining and moaning, ruining the states of others. It might mean verbally bitch-slapping a girl or standing up for someone that is not standing up for themselves, purely on principal, as I have been want to do.
It's WHO you are, when you strip away all the bullshit, suck as body, looks, networth, and all else. It permeates and resonates with people. If you give WHILE expecting a return, you haven't given and you internally and metaphysically communicate that you experience a "lack." Read some Stuart Wilde on this.

Title	Give value without seeking approval. Can someone go more in depth on what this means?
Author	unmovingshadow
Upvotes	19
Comments	14
Date	March 4, 2011 12:47 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fx8ih/give_value_without_seeking_approval_can_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/give-value-without-seeking-approval-can-someone-go.1316164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316164

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