This subreddit has actually evolved a lot, believe it or not.

I subscribed back when it was only at about 6000 people, and let me tell you, it was a lot more focused and 'predatory'. All content posted was rather original, and every post seemed like a piece of a puzzle in the search of the holy grail; The perfect line or technique.

Negging came up a lot back then. It was especially embraced and discussed by newcomers, who had yet to fully grasp the more abstract concepts of physical escalation and qualifying. Negging came easy, and unfortunately it probably created an outlet for a lot of burnt-in anger towards women by the AFC. You would often see people go completely overboard with it and blatantly insult a girl, then come back here after things went wrong and say "but I was just playing".

Over the last few years we've learned a lot. Most of us have understood that yes, there are certain techniques you can use that will give you an edge. However, for anything of it to work, you need the catalyst of being attractive, which coincidentally also makes up like 80% of the pick-up in the first place.

And after thousands of FR's and discussions, that's what we realized. It's not about her. It's about us. We have to make ourselves attractive. What's attractive? Confidence.

I don't know specifically where we made the turn. I suspect there isn't a specific date, but rather we gradually moved onto discussing self-improvement, and how to better project ourselves and our worth to others, without coming off as those massive PUA assholes, that we all would rather distance ourselves from now.

Suddenly the discussion moved from 'negging' and 'the mystery method' to 'staying in state' and 'social proofing'. Talking about the 'negative' techniques is still allowed, but you will notice that it's frowned upon. The majority of us don't believe in it anymore, or simply don't feel right about the manipulative approach. Feels much better to just love yourself, and let others join in.

I bet a lot of you are subscribed to /r/malefashionadvice or some similar subreddit too, right?

We want to improve, and we want the women to like us for who we are. We want to be noticed. It isn't about the sex (well, kinda), it's about being wanted. We want the same attention that women get on a daily basis. I think you should read this comment from KarmaKaiser, which inspired me to make this post. He summed it up quite well.

Thank you for listening.