So, this weekend I had the privileged of hanging out in a major city with several very experienced and successful wings. I've been going out the last couple of years completely alone all of the time and it's honestly been pretty hard, just using the city itself as my wing man: talking to as many people I can to warm-up before talking to girls for example.

Having other guys around is awesome though. There' are so many reasons why. Let me explain.

  1. You're all in the same boat. That's a great feelings. When I saw a guy who's WAY better than me have approach anxiety and I was able to help him by pushing him then you really know this game is actually hard and it's not just you. That's an amazing feeling to understand, you really are not alone.

  2. It normalizes what you're doing. When you're alone you're always afraid of being creepy or breaking social norms but with other guys around it just feels so normal. You're two friends hanging out and one of you is going to talk to a girl they like. It's simple, easy and innocent.

  3. Having a home base and some kind of encouragement is nice. Man like I got blown out by this SUPER hot goth girl in front of a huge crowed and it stung like hell, but it was awesome to have my wing at the time to just walk back to and hang out with.

  4. Momentum. This is the most important. Since you have someone to talk to the entire time, you never go cold. You're always on, always social. When I am alone, I have to use crutches to get around this. What I typically do is record voice messages, make phone calls or talk to shop keepers while I'm out in order to keep myself in a social flow. This isn't necessary with a good wing. You just talk about whatever and it keeps you "on".

  5. It can boost your state. RSD Tyler explained this a lot in Blueprint but now I've experienced it myself in real life. When you are helping your buddies, or trying to one-up each other, pushing each other, talking and joking loudly and all that. It just hypes you up so much. By the end of the day I was just yelling jokes at random girls just for fun (for example, like teasing a runner to go faster or a girl who had food in a park why she didn't bring any for me). I just felt a lot more free and so when it came to actually making an approach, I could do quite easily...

So, does it solve all your problems? No. I still have a long way to improve and there's always luck involved too but it actually makes that improving way easier because you get in the reps which is much harder to do alone.

I don't have any wings back home but that's something I really want to work on. Right now I just set myself up with a wing girl which is better some ways because of social proof and making girls feel safer around you but worse in others...