help a 19 years old change.

Rich_Character_6394 · 2026-08-07T12:11:52+00:00

First rule of the game, you are going to get rejected, I'd advice you just walk up to girls and hold a conversation with them, because that's what flirting really is if we being honest. Giving you "the best lines" to use will be useless if don't really have the confidence to back them up, it's quite easy to see. So your first step will be to talk to women you DON'T KNOW you could start slow with small talk and build yourself from there cause i promise you'll start seeing where you can throw in those flirtatious lines that keep things going and since there's no real loss for you since you're just talking there'll be little pressure on you, aside from the one you'll give yourself

Lord_Asmodeus93 · 2026-08-07T12:19:04+00:00

Work on your insecurities and self-esteem. You can't get the girl you need, only the one who needs you. Remember that.

Back2theCouture · 2026-08-07T13:35:23+00:00

I could write a book just to answer your question. This is basically how to get you ready to be a proper young adult man. Not just to approach girls, but to set you up for life in the future.

I’m talking about total makeover. Physically and mentally.

Physically: upgrade your hairstyle, upgrade your wardrobe, leave your fashion style you used when you were in middle/high school. You need to look like someone who takes care of himself, not like “his mom bought his clothes.” Grooming is important too. Some guys in their 30’s don’t even know they need to wash off their ass regularly whenever they take a shower. Heck, some even don’t know they need to take a shower at least once a day and brush their teeth at least twice a day.

Mentally: how to talk to people needs social skills. It’s okay if you don’t know how. Ideally these are skills that are taught during your adolescent age by your parents and your teachers. But you can start catching up once you realize you need to work on these skills. There’s thousands of Youtube videos covering this issue. Not just talking to girls, but talking to people in general. Start watching those educational videos instead of doomscrolling or watching funny/rage content.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-08-07T13:20:14+00:00

Ask women out. Get rejected. It's that simple.

zebekias · 2026-08-08T03:00:00+00:00

“I’ve never asked a girl before”.

Guess what separates you from the guys that get hot kitties.

justanothernormie_69 · 2026-08-07T16:59:42+00:00

Hit gym.

appmanga · 2026-08-07T17:26:46+00:00

I'm scared what if I get rejected

You will go into a coma, and possibly die.

Of course you won't. It'll sting, but you just have to accept rejection is part of life. We won't get every job we interview for, we don't get everything we want, so we cope and move on.

Humor is a trait almost everyone loves, and it wouldn't surprise me if at least one of your female friends likes you more than you realize. If you're insecure, work on becoming confident and competent by learning to do things. Playing an instrument, learning to speak a second language, learning how to cook, are among a bunch of many things you can do to show yourself you're capable of accomplishing something really challenging. And understand there's no reward for being shy.

Extreme-Bid-5989 · 2026-08-07T20:50:15+00:00

Make shure you also do innergame progress because it also is very important.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-08-07T22:38:11+00:00

this is the perfect age to start wokring on it. Rome was not built in a day. ANd also understand that most kids your age are not good at this, some just are swinging at everything.

So here's my advice especially if you are in college:

College is pretty much a bubble, Eveyrone is trying to get that experience of hookups, and you are only competing with people your age. But once you graduate the whole world who is 22+ is now dateable in a weird way. Now you are competing with guys who are 30, have yearsin the game, make more money than you, and the girls your age see as mature.

But it's not too late for you, you can get good. The same way there are guys who are good at this, there are still guys in their 30s who are terrible at this. You just gotta decide whop you want to be and how you can be the guy who is good at this.

So for you, practice your social skills. Go to meetup events, networking events, etc. And approach everyone, man and women alike. The idea is to get used to meeting new people and expecting nothing in return. For me i was bad at meeting new people, i couldnt even talk to men, so i started by practicing on men first. Then transitiong that into women. Start small and then increase as it gets easier. Because with flirting the point is making it feel like it's not even flirting. You are just talking to someone new and enjoying the moment.

When you go out, go out for your own nejoyment. A fun night out should be irrelevent of whether you get laid or not. Understand youll get rejected waaay more than you succeed. Even the best guys get rejected more than they succeed. If you did out their numbers their sucess rate would be like 2% difference is they are talking to every girl they see basically. Talk to 50 girls in a month you get laid once. Talk to 100 girls in 2 months you get laid twice. If you heard your buddy say he got laid twice in the last two months, youd say he was killing it. But he's not telling you how many girls he talked to and faield with, just the successes.

Also change your wardrobe if you ahvent already. Wear cologne on most outings. Buy clothes for the weekend and only have them for the weekend. Get a better haircut, groom your beard, etc. Social skills is the #1 way to get women, but a woman will decide she will enver fuck you if you enter a room and look like you dont even know how to dress.

Iambrix · 2026-08-08T03:58:15+00:00

People overcomplicate this. It’s simple. The more attractive you are, the easier it is to attract people. Being attractive just means having qualities that make people think about or want to be around you more.

The goal in dating is to find someone who is naturally attracted to you, not convincing every person you meet to like you. It’s a subtle but very important difference because it shifts your mindset from seeking validation (a typically unattractive trait) to seeking compatibility. It also helps alleviate self-esteem drops from rejections. Rejections are not a sign that you are unworthy; they are a sign you are incompatible with that person in the moment.

Fundamentally, talking to more women is the fastest way to meet someone interested in you. That’s the key.

The game isn’t to convince someone to like you—it’s to move things forward with someone who already likes you. Yes, even as you are now, there is definitely a woman you find attractive who will be attracted to you too. The difficulty of meeting that woman increases or decreases as you become more or less attractive.

Next, what makes you attractive? The quality of your looks, personality, and authenticity. I emphasize “quality” because everyone has different genetic makeups, and the goal is to express the best parts of yourself rather than look or act like another person. More specifically, utilize the cards you have rather than envy someone else’s.

Here’s an example: a girl might like you over a supermodel simply because you share a hobby or have an opinion she places more value on than physical appearance alone. Your hobbies and opinions are part of your personality and authenticity. That’s why attraction is a package deal rather than just looks.

With that said, how do you improve your attraction? That’s simple too.

For your looks: Exercise, eat healthy, and keep your hygiene in order. Dress in clothes that fit you and match the occasion—social awareness is attractive. Wearing a business suit to a corporate meeting or shorts to the beach are examples of dressing for the setting. The specific style of the suit or shorts is subjective and part of how you express your personality.

For your personality: Become comfortable sharing your hobbies, interests, and opinions even if someone might not like them. It’s better to filter out incompatible people than to suppress yourself.

For your authenticity: Become comfortable expressing yourself. If you feel bad, don’t force yourself to feel better. If you like something, don’t force yourself to hate it. Authenticity is attractive because it builds trust and shows you live on your own terms—which is also more attractive.

Finally, rejection still stings even when you understand it’s about fit. Building a life that feels worthwhile independent of romantic outcomes (friends, projects, physical progress, skills) makes the dating process less desperate and therefore more attractive. Also, at 19 many people are still figuring out their preferences and social skills; the pool is large and everyone is still developing. Patience with the process matters.

As a practical first step, joining a shared space (like a club or group) where you can casually talk to women about a common interest is a great way to break the ice at low stakes.

At every point while you’re learning, remember that you are not the only person who has experienced shyness, humiliation, embarrassment, or judgment. It’s a process everyone goes through—a rite of passage. Keep your head up, keep going, and things will eventually click for you.

Title	help a 19 years old change.
Author	hichamis1
Upvotes	6
Comments	25
Date	August 7, 2026 12:04 PM UTC (4 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vhyr7d/help_a_19_years_old_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-a-19-years-old-change.1632219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1632219

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