Help approaching

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-29T20:20:56+00:00

Choose to be good to yourself first. Reward yourself with confidence and respect.

Inevitable_Branch720 · 2025-07-30T05:08:21+00:00

This is pure social anxiety. Put the philosophical considerations aside, put even the mindsets aside, and focus on progressively getting comfortable talking to strangers. - Start with your comfort zone: are you ok maintaining eye contact? Asking for directions, giving a compliment? - define your end goal clearly: is it being able to approach anyone? Maintaining conversation? Showing intent?

Cut the phases in between in small manageable steps and go through them progressively. I went through a similar process last year and got rid of the anxiety in a few days . Feel free to chat me if you have questions , I'm here to help .

InnocuousDaisy · 2025-07-30T09:34:42+00:00

literally just wave to someone, girl or guy. then ask a guy what time it is. do that a few times. then ask a girl what time it is. do that a few times. then give a girl a compliment. then give a girl a compliment and then ask how her day is going. you can build slowly

Bane_xr · 2025-07-29T10:49:33+00:00

I'm gonna copy what i wrote on a similar post a while back:

Yep...I was in the same situation. Super frustrating, going out multiple times just to come back hating myself for not doing shit, and then getting mad and saying Tomorrow is the day it changes. Tomorrow comes and it's the same shit...

None of the classic advice worked.. It felt like I was working against myself somehow.. And that's true..

So instead of pushing against this force, what if that force was on your side. So now you felt so fucking pulled to approach that you just can't fucking resist it, it just happens, you now have to stop yourself from doing it...

Wouldn't that be awesome?

Well here is what worked for me..

Stop going out to approach.

Stay home, and use that time to IMAGINE approaching... Sit and imagine yourself spotting a girl, thinking something, and deciding to approach, see yourself walking to her etc. As vividly as possible.. Imagine both positive and negative outcome. And try to feel the impact of it emotionally.. Do this every day as many times a day for a couple weeks (you won't need a couple of weeks to see a difference)

On top of that, think stuff like, "i love approaching, I can't resist a beautiful girl, opportunity etc.", you wanna change the thought patterns...

Do that...You will start noticing things during the first week, you may become a bit more social, bit more balsy, holding eye contact a bit longer etc. etc.

Just keep doing it... Soon you'll start feeling a bit different about approaching, and you'll get super close to doing it a couple times, and then it just happens and once it's done you'll look at it and think, holy shit, did i just....how did i just do that...

Intelligent_Algae226 · 2025-07-29T10:40:58+00:00

Look at what you're saying and tell me it doesn't give off a weird loner vibe. Walking around with the intention of approaching someone just to “seduce” them? Come on. How about going for a run, hitting the gym, or doing something productive where you're likely to meet people who already share at least one interest with you?

You can’t just go outside and wander aimlessly with the sole goal of seducing someone. Let that be something that happens on the side, naturally. When I went for a run about a year ago, almost everyone I passed, whether a guy or a girl, smiled at me, and I smiled back! Even something that small can be a starting point to connect with people or be approachable!

There’s more to life than JUST seducing others. Find a hobby or a place where you actually feel good and confident. When you're in an environment surrounded by people who are into the same things, approaching them becomes much easier.

Start small: talk to old people at a bus stop (that's how i started lol). Don’t be glued to your phone or wear headphones all the time. Practice talking to strangers without any hidden agenda. Improve your basic social skills first; it will make everything else easier later.

And by the way, you NEED to look good, or at least look like someone who takes care of themselves. Manage your acne, whiten your teeth, wear nice clothes and find a fragrance that suits you. That alone can help give off the kind of vibe that attracts the kind of people you’re hoping to approach :P You're welcome OP <3

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-07-29T20:48:50+00:00

What you described isn’t unusual. Most people go through something like this.

Best thing is to keep it simple. Just approach someone and say something. Just ask where the nearest Starbucks is. Start there.

Over time keep leveling up. You want to get to a point where you’re not afraid to let your intentions be known. You approached because you thought she was cute, looked interesting, liked her look, or whatever. Let her know.

But for now, just start with a simple question. Then level up.

epimpstyle · 2025-07-29T10:34:35+00:00

1 - In short, you need at first, to forget about your problems from work/family, forget all the negative thoughts, and enter a social mood. How can you do this? Talk on the phone with a friend, talk with your neighbor/a vendor; you need to be out of your house and talk with another human being before you're in a social mode. Sometimes it works if you listen to music, take a cold shower, or do some push-ups/jumping jacks. If you don't feel good, it's hard to start a conversation with a lady because nobody is curious about your problems, and you need to be friendly, positive, optimistic, and playful.

2 - The next thing to make everything easier is to be clever and create a context to talk with a lady. It's one thing if something happens around you and you both comment on that 'something,' and it's a completely different story if nothing happens around you and you need to create a subject to talk about out of nowhere. It's not impossible, but it's difficult, especially in the beginning when you're conscious that what you're doing might be a weird thing.

I will give you an example of how I created a context to talk with a lady: I saw a lady outside the grocery store who was ready to enter. At the entrance, deliberately I put my shopping cart diagonally to block her way, but then I said, "Oops, sorry!" pretending it was by mistake. About 1-2 minutes later, I saw her looking at the fruits. I went near her, and I already had a context to talk about: "Hey, my cart's over there, I won't block your way... haha... If you take an orange, I will take an apple, we will make a fruit salad ..."

I know that a bunch of 'natural' guys who read this will say that it's not nice, I'm not honest, blah blah blah... but deliberately creating a context it's super efficient, this is what matters!

Title	Help approaching
Author	ThenSignificance1726
Upvotes	3
Comments	13
Date	July 29, 2025 10:16 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mc7n3v/help_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-approaching.1558405 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558405

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