How do FWBs start/come up?

hunterpua · 2025-04-28T14:41:57+00:00

For me, it often comes after we've had sex a few times.

Don't stress over how to set it up in the early stages. I do nothing differently at all whether I want something casual or I want something serious.

The question of, "What are we?" will naturally come up once you guys start having sex.

I find that for best results its better to answer that question preemptively.

So, some time after we've had sex for a second time, maybe the morning after or the next time I'm hanging out with her, I just tell her what kind of relationship I wanna have with her in a very matter-of-fact way.

I do it after the second time because if you've only had sex once, that might just be a one night stand, so you don't need to worry about clarifying your relationship at that point.

Efficient-Complex194 · 2025-04-28T12:40:47+00:00

In my experience, one night stands or tinder hookups can turn into fwb, if both parties aren’t interested in a relationship

StrongElderberry8952 · 2025-04-28T12:56:30+00:00

From the 1st time you bang until someone wants a relationship, you don't need to ask IMO

Rhino3750ss · 2025-04-28T13:25:23+00:00

They just happen.

The key is to refrain from having any kind of logical verbal discussion about what you are looking for, which is opposite to most advice you will hear. Just have fun with the person and make sure your conversations revolve around sexually charged banter, this way whatever happens happens organically.

You actually want to withhold physical touch during banter, this is likely to make the girl initiate physical touch first because you appear not urgent hence preselected. The way in which she touches you and frequency or lack thereof will make it clear how she categorizes you, so you can effectively decide to take her for Netflix and chill to start a FWB, or take her on romantic dates to build to a relationship

In your case you might have been doing the right things without even knowing it and ended up with a girl chillin on the bed. You probably weren't being too direct and not rushing the physical escalation and creating uncertainty as to how interested you are so she felt safe with you. At that point you could have just pulled out your cock and she probably would have had at it.

Foreign-Spring9076 · 2025-04-28T13:04:57+00:00

When you meet someone new, found out what they are looking for. You be surprised by how many people just want that or look for apps that offer primarily those type of relationships

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-04-28T17:40:24+00:00

Communicate what you're looking for with your date/partner. If she says she is seeking a relationship, don't be afraid to speak up and have a talk that you aren't looking for a relationship and instead want xyz. Be clear and don't intentionally be vague if you know you just want casual play. If she says relationship, don't be coy; you know she means a more serious/traditional relationship. Realize that time is valuable and it's best to not string anyone along. You're a man; be direct and honest.

Optimist_Pr1me · 2025-04-28T19:50:30+00:00

I think they can happen in different ways. FWIW: my two cents. (I don't have a ton of experience) but I DID have a FWB. Actually two...hmm. Yeah, these are probably not the answers you were looking for because I think you want a FWB by design, like out of the gate, something actionable. (#3 and #5 would work?) But I thought some background might help, sorry for the long post.

It just happens. First one was her idea. Yes we had had sex (once?) and the "talk" came up...actually she was shy so it was by text, maybe that made things easier. TLDR she wanted to level up to something serious, trajectory wise. I let her know (I don't remember my wording) that I did not? was not ready for? a serious relationship. Note: It was her policy at that time to not sleep with men that were having sex with other women. That varies by woman (I presume). But since I wasn't with any other girl, I'm like "ok", so we had sex that one time. But it's interesting because that didn't mean it was "serious"....hard to explain.
You can be upfront about it. I stayed friends with her. She was cool. I was happy for her when she started dating other men, legit. I actually helped her date other men (told her to get better jeans, lol). As a friend I got insights into her dating. Anyway, she had another FWB guy, but I think he was upfront about it. They went on a date, day later said there was "no sparks"....but wanted something casual. She was down. Directness is best sometimes?
Be upfront and direct. Ok so no 1st or 2nd hand experience with this, but I knew a guy who knew a guy...yeah just from the get go, whether it's because of a hard break up, divorce or , want to meet people, or you're just horny? lol, just say on the date or before really, that you are only looking for something casual but be ready to walk. You never know, you might text each other late night, weeks later.
With an ex girfriend. So yeah, it's a thing of better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Since she has known you, then it's a lot easier for you to get together for trysts. Again it was her idea. I didn't realize it though, but she had feelings for me and it was always in hopes of getting back with me, so I was playing with fire I suppose. Mistakes were made.
Dating apps. No experience but some reading 🤣. I don't think you post it but when you message them, yes right away be upfront about it. I really want to try this.

So honesty is the common thread. Don't lie. (In #5 you are not lying, you are just not broadcasting it, it shows...social intelligence?) But don't be reckless with people's hearts. And yeah about your question, social circles, I have read on here, FWBs starting that way, or just with friends. I also imagine one night stands could turn into FWB? Maybe that's more like an affair, not an explicit agreement like FWB.

Nigelthornfruit · 2025-04-28T20:50:56+00:00

With you being attractive enough , skilled in the sack and cool about sex.

Historical-Case9201 · 2025-04-29T04:19:36+00:00

Dating apps. Do one date if that to make sure you’re both real then once you get laid get out, then just go over a couple times in the next couple days and repeat, get laid and get out. It does help if you shoot lower than your usual.

Kobe_curry24 · 2025-04-29T05:08:10+00:00

What’s funny is what your describing is a GF lmfaooo, which gives you want you want and is stable and less chance of catching sti what you want is to sleep with many women which you would just follow the same rules of getting A gf then after sex just leveling them to only sex which is fucked up but if they agree than all is fair

Kobe_curry24 · 2025-04-29T05:09:12+00:00

I would also say don’t do the pimp game if your not ready for it Because women can be way more pimp then you and not fuck a soul lmaooo

Title	How do FWBs start/come up?
Author	150420throwaway
Upvotes	46
Comments	16
Date	April 28, 2025 12:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1k9ug4e/how_do_fwbs_startcome_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-fwbs-startcome-up.1550850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550850

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